The Horse Forum banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

Another whiny thread about being a barn owner...

11K views 71 replies 25 participants last post by  Mike_User 
#1 ·
Horses and their owners: You can't live with them.. and you cant live with out them. As a barn owner you whine because you never get to take a vacation and then when you do get a "vacation"... it's torture to not be there! I miss my ponies! I know all horse owners feel this way but for me as a barn owner.. I feel responsible for everything for both horses and owners. I hate not being there when they need me! :cry:

One more gripe: Sometimes I hate how personal our business is. I love and hate with equal measure how it's a community and a family. As a barn owner, especially when you live at the barn, you feel like you're life is on display and you have no privacy. For me personally, I'm pretty open and honest about most things so private things for me are realllly private but at the barn, nothing stays that way for long!:oops: :lol: It makes me nervous to have my weaknesses displayed at my place of business.

I have some time off this weekend... Any good debate threads? Maybe I'll come up with a fun list of the perks of being a barn owner.. :wink:
 
#2 ·
I don't own a barn, but I can sure see where privacy would be something you'd have to take strong measures to protect. I never met a more gossipy bunch than women at a barn! Some men, too. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a kangaroo court of law!
 
#3 ·
As a foster parent of teenagers, you have no idea of the level of privacy that you have now. Imagine your boarders sleeping in your house every night?

I manage for my kids to not to be in my personal business, it's not possible for them to know something unless it is shared in front of them. If your boarders are aware of personal stuff from you, then you are sharing with them or doing things in public. It's hard sometimes when there is an argument brewing with your spouse, but there is no reason to do it with an audience.

As far as time off, I get 21 nights a year without the kids. I think so far in three years, I have managed three weekends that I can think of when I did not get a bunch of phone calls during this time. It's the nature of the beast.
 
#4 ·
I can't see where it's a perfect job, but it's the one you chose....
This is what I tell myself daily as I deal with the hardships of my life. I've spent four nights away from my "job" in 12 years. I'm a stay at home mom, and privacy isn't an option....money is always tight, but so is the relationship I have with my kids.
You, well you chose your job, it's a hard one, but very rewarding I'd assume. Your boarders can either be customers or family, depending on you. Our BO is family, and we all know each others business. If your barn in full of ickies, and they are "family" then it's time to have a family prayer meeting in the barn.
But...as I said, it's our life, we chose it.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#5 ·
Some stuff is unavoidable though... even some marriage stuff is unavoidable especially when you run the business together. LOL if my boarders didn't know me or have a sense of humor at all my husband and I would be pretty frightening. We're the bickery types..
Me: "Hun where are those freaking wire cutters for the 800 billionth time?! GEEZ!"
Hubby:"uhhhh up your butt and around the corner?"
Me: "I just checked and they're not there so what did you do with them?!" Hubby: "You sure? I would be more than happy to help you check ......"
Me: "On second thought.. I might have left them in Image's butt (my bitchy mare). You should definitely check there!"
 
#8 ·
Professionalism might help you out. Sure it's your home, and you work together, but there is no reason to talk to each other like that in front of others. Do you behave differently in front of his parents, or your children? I would hope so, and that's how you should behave when you are working.

Seriously, who in the world would want to hear that crap from another couple?
It's not about having a sense of humor, it's about being professional.
 
#13 ·
It IS about having a sense of humor or life would be pretty dull. Obviously we don't sit there and make super inappropriate jokes or scream at each other in the aisle way.

Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. You are nervous about a few people knowing your business, yet you post this on the WORLD wide web?:lol:
Why is that funny? most people find it easier to share with perfect strangers over the net. Besides... What did I post exactly? Did I post what my issue's were? No. Just that I wish everyone didn't always know my business. I'm missing the part where you find THAT funny... ?lol

I love horse forum... always entertaining.
 
#10 ·
I'm a barn owner, but I only share it with the horses. It's a beautiful thing! :D

I do have lesson students and training clients in and out but no boarders or daily drama. Boarding is one thing I've always sworn I wouldn't do. Too much headache. I like my privacy, not having to share my arenas, and get to keep my sanity (well a little anyway...)
 
#11 ·
I don't know much about your situation so correct me if i'm wrong. It sounds like you live at work and work at home and it is all blending together so much that you have no clue where time off starts and where work ends and it is stressfull and your personal life is non existant because you are always working even when you are about to fall asleep your last thought is work because thats just the nature of the job.

I've been there and i know the feeling. What i had to do is seperate out my living quarters from work and "commute" 1 flight of stairs to work. I get ready for my day, gather everything i need, then leave my living quarters and go to work. I do my best to "stay at work" and not return back to my living quarters untill i am off the clock. If you can make a physical barrier do it! a fence or hedge row that seperates out your family's personal space that boarders should not cross unless invited. in the same way work should not cross that line either. obviously there will be a little work on the wrong side of the fence but try to minimalize it. When you are on the work side of the fence act professional even if your husband doesn't. on the home side of the fence is the place for any "up your butt and around the corner" conversation. set yourself some realistic work hours that you spend in the barn, doing office work, maintaining the grounds, etc. There will be times when you will have to work outside of your work hours, but that is emergency only time! Ie - horse is injured, colicy, loose. I realy thing it will help a lot.

The nice thing about living at work is the commute is 1 minute, you don't have to drive through bad weather, don't have to pay for gas, and you can run home real quick if you forgot something. the problem is that it goes both ways and it's one of the worst parts as well. Wishing you the best of luck.
 
#12 ·
I don't have any help for keeping your private life private except to say, just keep quiet about it. I would never discuss any of my personal stuff with my boarders. And if my husband ever DARED say something along the lines of 'up your butt and around the corner' to me, private or not, he'd find himself sleeping in the chicken coop for an extended period of time. We just don't talk to each other that way, it's a major disrespect issue.
 
#18 ·
As a boarder and never barn owner, my hats off to you individually, and all of you in general. I don't think I like people enough to be able to deal with lots of people in *my* space doing their things with their horses, or worse, to see them do potentially dangerous things or not care for their animals to the standard I would mine. I like and would second the earlier suggestion to have some visible line between "work" and "home." It's been a great thing for my life when I learned to do that.

I don't mind humor, rough or not, and figure if it works for people's relationship, then more power to them. Then again, I ask people to describe their cats' and dogs' vomit or feces to me (in detail) on a daily basis and think the mechanics of collecting stallions is perfectly acceptable dinner conversation, so maybe I don't belong in polite company. :)
 
#22 ·
I can understand that you would want to keep your personal life personal as a BO. I try not to ask any personal questions of my trainer/BO because of this...horse stuff only. Keeps our relationship friendly but still professional that way.
 
#24 ·
I am a BO, too. But the only horses I currently board are my own... I have had a few friend's horses board in the past, but for whatever reason they couldn't care for them everyday. So I didn't mind spending time with a few extra horses, because I still got my barn time. If they were going to be there everyday all day, I probably would have said no. The most I have had was 10 in my barn. I now have half that, and like I said, all my own.

Even my husband knows to call me before he heads to the barn. That's my space, and my time, and for safety reasons I need to know when he's coming in. (He's not so graceful, bangs and moves fast.) I also have a 2 year old, and that's another reason I demand a call before they head down. I could be in the isle cleaning feet or anything- and when that door slides open and a 2 year old comes running in, I'd rather not have the foot of a 6 year old stallion (or better yet, a 2 year old Percheron) in my hand. They are good, but like I said, my husband is not the most graceful of fellows. He drops things, trips, moves quickly, all things that usually my horses are fine with- but I can see the whites of their eyes- no need for a spook.

Anyway. The point of that long drawn out spiel was that barn time is precious and should be respected. I don't think the barn is the place for goofing around. Whether it be talking about things in people's butts, pushing each other playfully, or playing soccer.

Don't get me wrong, I goof off plenty. But NEVER in the barn. In the riding arena? Sure. And sometimes the horses love when we goof around with them in the arena. But to me, the barn is their safe place. They need to feel comfortable. I keep the radio down low, and stay calm, and talk relatively quietly. Its important to me that they feel comfortable... And when I walk down in the morning and all 5 of them are still laying down sleeping, I smile and say "good morning!"

I LOVE that they are comfortable enough to lay down and sleep. Even after I have opened the doors and walked down the isle.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#25 · (Edited by Moderator)
Starline, I am sorry my first post came off as snarky. It truly wasn't meant to be. I was just tickled in the irony of it, that's all.

As for the life of a BO. I have never held that job, but have seen plenty in action. Some do it well, some not so much. It has to be very difficult for anyone to separate home from work.

Seems like the ones who do it well seem to either have the ability to hire good stable hands to do the rougher work, leaving them to do the supervising and PR type work, or they have their living areas pretty much off limits except in cases of emergency. But mostly, the good ones are very tight about even bringing up anything personal about their situations in public.

I have seen some barns where the tension (either real OR perceived) have set a the tone to those around the facility. What one person may think is funny may be seen as anger by another. It may be difficult for them to see through the type of humor being made. I guess I would offer a suggestion to be careful what form of humor is being made in the public areas of the barn. If I had been privy to the mock exchange you offered in your post, I would have felt very uncomfortable.

We ALL have weaknesses....that is a given. Sometimes it is just very hard to keep them under cover of silence. Once they have been made a point of conversation, the topic takes on a life of its own, morphing every time it is retold. Just try to keep your personal life out of any initial conversations.
 
#26 ·
All I'll say is that reading about 'barns' makes me glad my horses are in my back yard. At the risk of being hopelessly sexist, maybe riding needs more men. Most of us could go 5 years and not learn the name of the person with a horse in the stall next to ours...or care.

Sometimes, going thru life with blinders on is a good thing.





When my wife asks me what is going on, I can honestly say, "Beats me!"

Perhaps Starline Stables could order some sets for all the boarders...
 
#28 ·
All I'll say is that reading about 'barns' makes me glad my horses are in my back yard.
I couldn't agree more. I've got the setup to have boarders but haven't ever and don't ever plan on having any.
 
  • Like
Reactions: princess warrior
#29 · (Edited by Moderator)
Most horse owners are likely to think the same. So what if I should choose to ride my horse in a manner you may not like or if my horse may eat more or do anything different that another horse at your barn. That is between me and the barn owner...not the world wide web.
 
#31 · (Edited by Moderator)
I don't mention names and if it is truely of a private or embarrassing nature I would never mention it anywhere. I will do just about anything for a horse and owner even if I don't agree.. I don't care.. and I certainly don't care enough to publicize it. In the 3 years I've been open, I've only had 2 people leave on bad terms and they were crazy by everyone's standards. Situations arise and I'm truely curious what the best way to handle them is. In fact, if it involves someone else I will tell them "Can I have a day or two to research it and think on it and then get back to you? I may post in a few forums and see what we can come up with."
 
#30 ·
I have to say, I have boarded at many barns and worked at even more than I have boarded at. I couldn't even give you a number, safe to say well over 20. I have never experienced the types of problems that I read about on this board at ANY of those places!

I go to work horses and/or tend to them as needed, then I go home. I don't like gossip and as such don't get involved conversations when they involve other people's business, no matter how much people try and engage me. Not worth it and not the reason I go to the barn. As such I suppose I am well out of the 'loop' when it comes to knowing what everyone else is up to but that's how I like it.

I also don't give advice to people regarding their horse's training or care (unless it is some type of emergency) if they are not a client of mine because more often than not, they are someone else's client and it just isn't any of my business. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

For example, I had a lady come to me at the barn where I board my own horse seeking advice regarding her badly behaved gelding, even though she is under the care of the main trainer at the barn. My only recommendation was for her to talk to her own trainer about resolving the issue. She was a little miffed that I wouldn't help but to be honest, it isn't any of my business and getting involved would serve only to disrespect the trainer and possibly give reason for the client to second guess the trainer's judgment. Pretty much creates a sticky situation for all involved.

When it comes to horse people, everyone has their own opinion and everyone wants their voice to be the loudest. I find it is always the same 'types' that get involved with politics, whether it is in the workforce or at the barn or wherever. Then they wonder why they are always having some sort of strife with one person or another.

I tend to just keep my trap shut most of the time. Works for me.
 
#32 ·
The privacy issue I'm referring too is I had some health issues that I couldn't hide from boarders over the last two weeks and then ended up having to have surgery which was both physically and emotionally hard. Did I try hide it? Hell yeah.... but these silly ponies kept requiring my help that I could not give them and of course boarders want to know why. :-| At a normal job, you just have to answer to your boss.. but when you are the boss you have to answer to everyone.
 
#36 · (Edited by Moderator)
I'd like to ask a question....

Have you ever once changed your opinion on something you posted based on our opinions?

You asked about cleaning stalls 6 days a week, the majority was horrified, you went ahead and did it.

You asked about charging to walk a horse for (I forget) 20-40 mins while the owner got there - you never said what you did, that I recall.

You asked about raising your board to pay for an indoor which I still don't think is built - if you raised your board, are you reimbursing your boarders for the money they spent while it is not useable?

It seems to me that you ask opinions while coming to a post with your opinion formed. I think you want to hear opinions that agree with your own.
 
#37 ·
Alex... Great questions... I appreciate the follow up!

Stall cleaning 6 days a week - I did this and Its worked out well! If it rains on the day we leave out we just switch the day. If it rains all week we'll leave them out all weekend (owner approval of course). We were already kind of doing this.. just made it official. It's also common in my area so I went ahead with it.

Colic walking and late night holding for vet - I didn't charge but the late night vet holding but made it a point to tell all boarders that I've added an after hours fee. I also added an extra tid bit in my boarding agreement about assuming and extra charge for anything not listed in whats included.

Board increases for indoor - I put this off as long as I could but still had to raise board even though it wasn't done. I've also been more lax on other things (hay surcharges, charging for certain things that cost time, $2 a bag feed increases ect.) because the arena isn't done yet.

I also raised my lesson prices to help but grandfathered in current boarders and clients for those services which is an idea I got from yall.

Paypal fees - I'm still accepting paypal but asking them to do a person to person transfer so we both avoid fees.

It's about 50/50.... hold my ground/give in.
 
#50 ·
Alex... Great questions... I appreciate the follow up!

Stall cleaning 6 days a week - I did this and Its worked out well! If it rains on the day we leave out we just switch the day. If it rains all week we'll leave them out all weekend (owner approval of course). We were already kind of doing this.. just made it official. It's also common in my area so I went ahead with it.

Colic walking and late night holding for vet - I didn't charge but the late night vet holding but made it a point to tell all boarders that I've added an after hours fee. I also added an extra tid bit in my boarding agreement about assuming and extra charge for anything not listed in whats included.

Board increases for indoor - I put this off as long as I could but still had to raise board even though it wasn't done. I've also been more lax on other things (hay surcharges, charging for certain things that cost time, $2 a bag feed increases ect.) because the arena isn't done yet.

I also raised my lesson prices to help but grandfathered in current boarders and clients for those services which is an idea I got from yall.

Paypal fees - I'm still accepting paypal but asking them to do a person to person transfer so we both avoid fees.

It's about 50/50.... hold my ground/give in.

This sounds to me like "despite our agreement I will charge for whatever I want whenever I want.". A bit too subjective to me. I would never sign ANY contract with something that vague in it. THink about it-would you sign up for a bank account that says "we will charge fees for X, Y and Z, but will add anything else not included if we want."? Oh-and we may close on rainy days.....?:shock:

YIKES! Good thing you are a dressage barn AND far away!
 
#38 ·
Wow. I would be ****** if my barn charged me for every little increase in prices elsewhere, or for some kind of "after hours" charge. It is their job and it continues 24/7. Being a BO isn't something you can just clock out of on a daily basis. My barn certainly didn't raise boarding costs when the price of grain and hay rose significantly. Hell, my BO lowered my board just to keep me working for her on the weekends.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top