Awkward situation- how to approach BO? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 08:50 AM Thread Starter
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Awkward situation- how to approach BO?

I will try to keep this short. There's a notoriously hard to catch pony at the barn. He and my horse are like mutt & jeff(that ages me!). He will follow Lucky anywhere. So I can catch him very easily. He is on stall board with turn out but he often doesn't get brought in because he's so hard to catch. I met his owner, X, for the first time this weekend and she saw her pony follow me and Lucky to the gate.

She then expressed her concerns about the pony not coming in to eat and his weight loss. I stayed noncommital as I won't badmouth out BO but X is right. The pony doesn't always come in. X asked me to bring him in when I get Lucky so he can at least get dinner in his stall(they free feed in the pasture so the pony gets run off the food). I don't mind doing this and can easily turn him back out after my ride. Its not really extra work for me as he follows Lucky anyway.

My problem is I feel like I have to say something to the BO. I can't just randomly bring in and turn out someone elses pony. The BO would find that odd at best and I don't want her to think I am just overstepping as I like this barn and the BO. But I cannot for the life of me think of how to say this to her without it sounding like "X thinks you're neglecting her pony so she wants me to bring him in" not in those exact words but everything I think of seems to imply that...can anyone think of a diplomatic way to phrase it? If you were the BO, how would you want to hear this?

I don't want to be in the middle nor do I want to cause trouble between the 2 women. I like the pony and don't mind helping out but I don't want to cause or fuel any drama...thanks for reading this :)
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post #2 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 08:55 AM
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Does X come out often to care for the pony? If not, tell the BO that she asked you to bring him in on the occasion that she cannot do it.
I don't think the BO would have a problem with that.
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post #3 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 09:07 AM
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I would tell the BO that you've seen how hard to catch the pony is. Tell her that the pony follows your horse and it would be no trouble for you to bring him in with your horse. Offer to bring the pony in so it is less work for whoever has to do it. If you present it that way, as an offer to make things easier instead of an offer to do something that isn't being done, it should keep the peace.
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post #4 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 09:21 AM
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It's the pony's owner who should say something. It's the pony's owner who should spend some time training her pony to be caught as well.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

It's not always what you say but what they hear.
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post #5 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 09:44 AM Thread Starter
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X does not come out often and I agree, Iride but I feel bad for the little old pony. If X isn't going to train him and I can make life easier for the pony without making it hard for myself I would like to.

I like that idea, Amba but I have a hunch the BO will just tell me not to bother which is why I would like to work something in about X asking me but with it seeming like a helpful offer not a rebuke for something not being done.
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post #6 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 09:49 AM
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It's not the BO's job to teach the pony how to be caught nor does she have the extra time to hunt him down everynight. You could approach the BO as a way of helping her out since he is such a PIA but no way is she "neglecting" him.
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post #7 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 10:02 AM Thread Starter
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I didn't say she was, Left Hand. I said I didn't want to imply that and every statement I could think of came across that way. I just want to bring the pony in without drama. Its easy for me to do, hard for others. Thus I am willing to do so to help out X, the pony and the BO.
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post #8 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Left Hand Percherons View Post
It's not the BO's job to teach the pony how to be caught nor does she have the extra time to hunt him down everynight. You could approach the BO as a way of helping her out since he is such a PIA but no way is she "neglecting" him.
No it's not the BO's job to train the pony - however it IS the BO's job to communicate with the owner.

The pony's owner and the BO need to sit down and hammer out the details. It is not up to Dresden to ensure the pony is fed properly. If pony's owner and BO would like to work out something with Dresden, then that is fine.

COMMUNICATION - the thorn of being a BO.
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post #9 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 11:19 AM
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I would just start bringing the pony in and turning him out after dinner. If/when someone noticed and said something, I'd just comment that I knew the pony was a PIA and as long as he was following my horse anyway I figured I might as well put that herd reaction to good use and put him in for supper and toss him back out when I put my pony back out.
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post #10 of 28 Old 10-10-2011, 11:25 AM
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You say you dont want to be in the middle, so dont be,
The issue is between the pony owner and the BO, It is the pony owners problem. She has done something alot of people are good at. She has made her problem yur problem. Dont play along,,
I wouldnt tell the barn owner anything, Id just tell the pony owner sorry but I dont know my schedule so not really comfortable being responsible.
You are the customer also. If you went out to dinner and the next table's food wasnt right would you go into the kitchen and cook it for them? Its a barn owner horse owner issue.
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