I hear ya, Superstar. And not that I don't see the sides of other posters on this thread because I get that too. Unless I have been in your frustration, how can I really know. But I just got my horse out of a ridiculous situation back in July that had me knots daily. I could never count on the care he was getting. I work full time and can't see my horse every day, although I make it out there 5-6 times a week. But some weeks, its just not possible. So when looking for a good boarding place, you want to find a barn that doesn't eliminate your worries, but one that has the least amount of worries. Ya feel me?
I always say, if you can get at least half of you wish list out of a boarding facility, you've done pretty good. I left a mediocre situation in favor of training. But a big training barn left my gelding edgy and stressed. He never got the turnout that I was paying for (and was included in writing in my contract) and his feeding was so messed up, I never knew what he was eating. All of these things combined caused an ulcer, which is an arm and a leg to treat. I knew the situation was not good for him and not good for me. So we evaluated, and left.
My current barn is quiet and private. He goes out every day for 10+ hours and is very happy. But I'm lucky if the arena survives a wind storm and there are no trainers there. Its the choice I made though. It sounds like your former barns were not a good fit for you and its such a relief to find what that makes you worry less. So look at it this way, you are going to get good training in a safe and well maintained barn. But you will be responsible for your own blanket. Its a trade up really. From what I'm hearing, you're doing just fine. Every day is a learning experience. Keep up the good work!