Help Everything was fine but now..... - Page 2
   

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Help Everything was fine but now.....

This is a discussion on Help Everything was fine but now..... within the Barn Maintenance forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category

     
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        03-16-2010, 10:06 PM
      #11
    Started
    Congratulations Im gone............as of tomorrow I am closing my account I am tired of everyone on here saying I am selfish and a little bitch or whatever you frigging think I am this is not fair. I said I was happy for them I got excited for them I even told her I was trying to not be frigging selfish and she knew it and said so this is ridiculous I know how this world works and I told them I was not being selfish and I told her right to her face that I was VERY happy for them AND EXCITED for them because I know what the landlord has done he's even messed with me. And I work around the barn and house to gelp out as much as I can...you think I liked having my horse live somewhere for free no I hated it I felt worthless and horrible and got upset every time another bill came up because I knew I couldnt contribute. They always said it was fine and I also try giving them small amounts when I could......i started selling my good clothes and buying from Good frigging Will to give them money and I AM BEING SELFISH!!!! I have nothing because I have to buy my horse weight builder and oat bran every other week, treats, my own clothes, and gas. Nothing I have is new it is all used because I try to give what I can to them. I wouldnt have it any other way because I love my horse more than anything else I could possibly have. I watched their daughter all the time for them to give back. I have done what I could because I felt like such a stupid little idiot because that is what everyone tells me I am.....no one helps me I do it all myself my parents don't help me as they arent horse people so NO ONE HELPS ME I do what I can myself so please stop being rude and making me feel like a crappier person than I already feel....it sucks I really like this forum but if people arent going to give me advice but bash me then i've got to leave...i've got enough problems with my emotionally abusive mother, a father I never see, lack of job, and fighting throughout my family and I don't need to add a place that I felt happy with to that list. And I don't frigging whine or cry for no good reason I AM a sensitive person believe that or not but I am I am not a crazy little selfish teenager I actually know what the adult world is like and have been involved in it for a few years now.....when you grow up in my family you need to grow up quick...you know what I don't even know why I am wasting my time you guys obviously arent going to change your mind about me...which is sad because you are judging me from one post....nvm you wont hear from me anymore bacause I don't want to be a burden on anyone else anymore......sorry if I messed up your day or week or anything I really didnt intend for it........
         
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        03-16-2010, 11:15 PM
      #12
    Started
    I could be wrong..but I believe they were saying the BO was being a *itch. BO..meaning Barn Owner..not you.
         
        03-17-2010, 07:02 AM
      #13
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Speed Racer    
    Yeah, I'm going to agree with mls here.

    The OP is only concerned about herself, not the fact that her friend and her family have to move lock, stock and barrel because the landlord is giving them grief.

    She's 18 y/o for chrissake, not some 8 y/o who doesn't understand how the world works.

    Sorry, but I absolutely see this as her being worried only about herself and her own problems, so I can see why her friend's mother was rather short with her.

    She's been given FREE board and feed for almost 5 years, and is now whining that she might have to drive farther down the road to see her horse? I think she should be kissing this woman's feet and thanking her for letting her horse stay with them all these years for nothing, instead of screeching about how 'it's just not fair, and she's being such a meanie poopie head to meeee!'

    You're not 'sensitive' OP, you sound completely self serving and unable to see or understand the problems of others.
    Totally agree!

    Lets add they have obviously been giving you free trucking to your shows, right? You mention that you will not have a way to get to shows if you leave there barn, that is what leads me to say that.
    And another thought on that line, giving up stuff is how you make things happen. Give up the shows and use that money towards your horses care.

    One thing that makes it all clear is your latest rant about how they have stuff and you do not, how you have to buy at good will, etc.

    You are 18. You are plenty old enough to realize that life is not fair. Just because they can afford to does not mean they are wrong and you are right because you can not afford to.

    Have you thought about how much your horse has cost them over the years? In money and time? Call around and see what board costs in your area. Call around and see how much trucking costs in your area. You will see how much they have done for you. And from what I read in the original post, they are still willing to do for you. You just do not approve of the place they picked. Which is strange since you later on posted that you only go once per week and you spend the weekends there. So him being further away is only a problem once per week, right?

    And for the record, the stuff you have been buying for your horse (weight builder, etc) is stuff that you would still have to buy if you boarded. It is very rare for a boarding barn to pay for supplements of any kind. They also do not pay for vet and farrier care.

    This woman has treated you well for years and just once she is snotty to you (though I think she had good reason but lets set that aside and go with it that she is being snotty) and suddenly she is like the devil. Certainly does not make sense to me.


    OP, a thought, you may be having a hard time finding a job because of spelling and such errors in your writing. If your applications look anything like your posts you are not making a good first impression.
         
        03-17-2010, 08:24 AM
      #14
    Started
    Well im sorry if I was writing that through tears and I was pissed off because no one is hearing me through.....im sure there are times when you spelled a few words wrong nobody is perfect but apparently I have too much wrong with me ....maybe I should just crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out.....everyone in this life needs to feel better about themselves and in order to do that they put others down....i came to this forum for advice but I guess no one wants to give me any......they just want to bash me because they know they can and they know it will upset me.
         
        03-17-2010, 08:47 AM
      #15
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Phantomcolt18    
    i came to this forum for advice but I guess no one wants to give me any
    I gave you advice and you are putting me down for it.

    Yes, I make typing errors. Yes, I murder the English language on a frequent basis.

    That is why when I am writing a cover letter or filling out an application I make sure I spell everything correctly and use capital letters and such.

    You are typing here in all lower case. Not a sign of maturity. Just trying to give you some job hunting help. Advice. Just like you asked for.

    Stop being so stubborn that you do not see things for what they are.
         
        03-17-2010, 08:48 AM
      #16
    Weanling
    Welcome to the real world, and welcome to the internet. People just state their minds, they aren't trying to bash you, but they also don't care if you're offended.

    Your 18, you are in complete control of your own life. You can get a job just like everyone else. For every well maintained horse, there's someone who works their butts off to pay for it, whether it's the horse owner themselves or their parent or significant other or in your case, your friend. No one has sympathy for someone who had a free ride, and is now complaining that the free ride might be over.

    I only bring this up because you mentioned your home life, and I am not trying to be mean, but you really do need to toughen up. There are a lot of people who have rough childhoods and they can either spend the rest of their lives (50-70 years) crying about how awful 18 years of their life was, or they can man up, and take charge of their life. Instead of getting emotional, why not think about the future and how you're going to change your life?
         
        03-17-2010, 08:51 AM
      #17
    Banned
    Phantom, I have a question for you.

    Why is the mother (Barn owner) so evil for telling her daughter how she felt about how you were acting but it is OK for you to post about what an horrible person she is on the internet?
         
        03-17-2010, 09:05 AM
      #18
    Super Moderator
    I wasn't calling you a selfish witch. I was saying that I understand your feelings, which include your own "selfish needs" The word selfish isn't always used to describe a bad trait. I just wanted to try to help you to understand your friends feelings as well. I really think she did not see YOUR side of the story when you were upset and crying. All she could think was, "How dare you not be happy for me, I'm getting a new home and a happier situation - what kind of friend are you" and then she probably thought something like "All these years I've given you all of this... and you really just used me, never really cared about ME."

    Now your side of the story is more like "I'm really happy for you my friend but at the same time my heart is broken because my horse will be even further from me and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel trapped in a situation I can't get out of".

    I was just pointing out that it is a lack of communication that has these feelings on BOTH SIDES going rampid. I don't think that you should jump ship on the forum just becuase people are a little harsh. I know you came here for support and I tried to offer it, so did others, in a "hard love" sort of way.

    Just remember, when life throws you lemons. Make lemonaide...
         
        03-17-2010, 09:05 AM
      #19
    mls
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by twh    
    Just to clarify: the BO did behave like a bitch. I'm not saying that the BO was not being nice to board the OP's horse for free and whatnot, but I take a very dim view of people who talk trash behind other people's backs especially to the point that her daughter felt she needed to tell the OP.
    That is a "he said, she said" situation. As a BO myself, I take that kind of talk with a grain of salt. Typically things added or deleted to make the person presenting the information look better.

    Twh - what would you have said differently? The OP has not had to pay board. Farrier, vet, etc would of been paid either way. She stays free for weekends, gets hauled to shows. I think some gratitude and understanding is well deserved on the part of the BO and her family.
         
        03-17-2010, 09:09 AM
      #20
    Showing
    I buy all of my clothes from Goodwill, too. How does doing that make you some kind of suffering, pitiful, sainted person?

    Horses are a luxury, and since you can't afford to house and feed one on your own, you've been extremely blessed to have someone do it for you. You should be grateful to them, not trash them on an internet BB.

    If it weren't for these people, your horse would have been sold down the road a long time ago. I think you need to go and apologize to this woman, and tell her you're sorry for being so selfish and immature.

    A bad childhood isn't a 'get out of jail free' card Be thankful for the blessings you've received.

    Twh, I hardly see the BO as the bad guy here. She said something TO HER OWN DAUGHTER, not roundly trashed the OP on a public BB. I find that the daughter repeating to the OP what her mother said to her in confidence was extremely bad form.

    So you really think it's okay for the OP to come here and say how mean the BO is for not being more concerned for HER feelings? Really? Because I think your sympathies lie with the wrong person.
         

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