In the past month or two we've had a few younger boarders leave to different barns and since then I've really started to notice that my trainer/BO has become way too motherly to our older borders, even with their parents around and including myself. It's starting to bother me. Not enough to leave and find a new barn but enough to get a bit defensive over whether or not I know how to take care of myself. I'm 22 by the way.
For example I have mucus in my lungs right now, not a lot but enough to give me a bit of a cough. My doctor has assured me it's nothing contagious and it's only the aftermath of a cold I no longer have. She told me to do nothing to stress my breathing but taking the dogs to the park or going to the barn for an hour and brushing my horses wouldn't be a problem. I can even give lessons if I'm sitting.
My BO hit me up on facebook asking how I was feeling and I said I was doing way better and would be out to brush my horses tomorrow. I was shot back with a capital NO YOU WILL NOT. STAY HOME YOU'RE SICK.
I explained my mother and my doctor felt it was just fine for me to come out for an hour and moving around was better than me sitting on the couch and being annoyed I couldn't leave. She told me she didn't trust I wouldn't over exert myself and I couldn't come out until Monday because I needed to stay home for two days.
Hold on, I'm sorry, but I thought those were my horses and I wasn't aware there was a limit on when or why I could or couldn't come out? If it's going to make me feel better I'm going to do it especially if my doctor of all people say it's ok.
She has also taken to calling me by my full name which I haven't responded to since third grade. I go by Ellie. Not Eliana. My parents rarely call me by my full name and none of my teachers ever did. I ignore her when she does that but she just shouts it louder. I've repeatedly told her I don't respond to that...nothing.
She also hits. To her it's a playful hit but she does it to students and other boarders younger than her and seems to get slightly put back when we tell her it's harder than she thinks and it hurts. She has since stopped or tuned it to a light tap but sometimes she slips and will give you a wack like you were a horse that won't get out of your space.
Here's the other one and this goes for two boarders. Even with their mothers around BO insists on mothering them. When one girl came in with relationship problems she didn't want to talk about it but my trainer almost yelled at her saying she needed to drop the attitude and spit it out and be nice about it. This only upset said boarder who screamed the problem and went out to be comforted by her horse. She is still upset by how it was handled seeing that it wasn't any of BO business to start with. Her mother is the quiet type and isn't the one to speak up, the boarder is starting to get a backbone and on numerous occasions has mentioned she's about ready to scream at BO and let her know she is not her mother and she does not need to treat her like a child. She has her own mother to tell her what to do.
Basically the same goes for the other boarder but she has a backbone and says things like "I'm sorry but when did you get the title of my mother" or stuff like that.
Now here's the tricky part. I don't think she understands what she's doing. I don't have another place to move my horses without a huge increase in board that I absolutely have no way of affording at all right now plus other than this I love this place and the people. Just recently this has gotten a bit out of hand and it's frustrating me. I'm worried she'll start losing board over it and with that we will have a board increase and I'll be forced to leave. I don't want that. (that wasn't meant to sound self centered)
I'm not sure what to do. I want to keep a good relationship with her but I also feel I should tell her I can handle my own decisions, I'm a responsible adult, thank you for your interest but I don't need that kind of help at the moment.
Let's put it this way. I don't want to leave but if I had a ready piece of land tomorrow I wouldn't have to think about when to move my horses there?