I don't mean to complain but... - Page 2

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I don't mean to complain but...

This is a discussion on I don't mean to complain but... within the Barn Maintenance forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category

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        11-07-2010, 10:32 PM
    I think I'm confused and frustrated right now and it's exaggerated because I'm sick as well and in pain which makes everything intolerable for me.
    I want to stay and if I moved I would greatly regret the family closeness. If I don't move and the leaks aren't fixed I need to find other options for my feed and hay and lay some serious ground rules down between her and I (is that proper or is it her and me?)
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        11-07-2010, 11:04 PM
    Originally Posted by drafts4ever    
    See that would create a very hostile environment. I like this barn it's a small barn and between the boarders everyone including me likes her. She is there everyday to help with anything and lives onsite. She has done loads for me and my horses and turning her away like that would make it forced on me to move because of the environment I would have then created for myself. It's a very cozy family situation everyone including the boarders are very close and I like that.

    I think right now she needs to be set straight and reminded of her age And what her role is. She's a great person but she isn't our mother or doctor and although I and everyone else appreciate her concern sometimes it can be a bit overbearing. I had a long talk with her today where she apologized profusely and said she didn't realize she was coming off like that.
    I looked at 6 barns today and they all accept the drafts but it's way above my price range and I would lose the help I have with Sammy because they are not willing to move with me. So I think I will tough it out here and hope things get better for me. My student will be leaving however and I will go to her to give lessons.
    I think all the pain and sick crap I've been going through has been bugging me way more and making everything seem more extreme. I'm hoping that is. She's really a good person but she has her moments where recently I just want to shake her and show her what she's doing. I hope our conversation today did that. She didn't seem upset more shocked.
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    It will not come across as hostile if done correctly, just that you are busy...however, it sounds like you still want the closeness, so I guess you stay.
        11-07-2010, 11:53 PM
    I think you did the right thing.. Be upfront and honest. :o)
        11-08-2010, 01:00 AM
    While the woman seems overbearing on many levels, and I know this is probably out of context, BUT:
    We have posted "If you are sick, stay home" signs at our barn because frankly, HORSES HAVE NO CONCEPT OF SICK DAYS! If the person taking care of them is vomiting, or coughing up their lungs, they don't suddenly not need to be fed. So, if you get the barn owner (who might be the one and only caretaker at the farm) ILL, guess who suffers? We do our darndest to not get sick and are lucky to have tough immune systems. However, I would be very upset/borderline LIVID if I had a boarder come to my farm with a specific illness and then I came down with it shortly thereafter. It is disrespectful and rude to expose others to an illness because you aren't willing to be considerate. I'm not sure about you, but working while sick is AWFUL in my opinion, and as a barn owner, you don't get the option to "not work". Perhaps the woman was trying to indirectly keep you away for that reason? Although in all honestly, it seems not. Sorry for the soapbox, but that is the word from a BO's mouth ;) Good luck!
        11-08-2010, 02:06 AM
    I completely understand what you're saying and I'd have the same rule if I had my own barn because I wouldn't have the help she does. Her whole family runs the barn plus all the boarders pitch in to feed and muck stalls. She's not even close to being short handed. But it was more motherly "stay home young lady and stay in bed" and I don't like that. If my doctor says I'm fine then I'm fine and I know my limits. I don't need my trainer to tell me them. I told her it was out of place, I understood she meant well but I was told by a professional I was fine and that's the word I go on.

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