Okay grab your popcorn this is a long one~sigh~
OKay so some of you might remember a thread I had back in March about problems(EEk not bringing it up) but in April after that I started paying them $250 a month (since I hadn't paid anything before and finances were a lot better.) So I pay for worming, vet, dentist, farrier, his feed, and the board which is no problem(and it makes me feel better)and I clean up the barn and fields for them a few times a week because her husband is getting older and I felt he needed a few breaks every couple of days.....the only reason I bring this up is because I want people to know I AM paying for everything now so people don't think i'm freeloading.
Ok so backstory I have been at this barn for about 5 yrs now and they gave me my horse Phantom(he's not my first though) they said I could keep him at their house for free which I felt bad about and now I am happy I can pay I even give them extra here and there when I can just to say thanks.
Well anyway I feel like I should move Phantom the reason being....I feel like my friend doesn't want me around anymore she's kind of pushing me out. She is still talking about me behind my back...not good things. And she is kind of pushing me away and snapping at me a lot. I don't know what could have caused this because we sat down months ago( the middle to end of march) and settled our differences and we came to a mutal understanding and then everything was fun and fine, we even grew a bit closer. Recently I found out she's been lying to me about a lot of things such as feeding him the feed i've been buying him(i buy it since its different then waht the other horses eat)....I went over during feeding and her husband gave me Phantom's scoop and it was their pellets not what I bought him and he was giving the other horses Phantom's stuff....I asked him about it and he said "Well M(his wife) said he didn't need it and to give it to the other horses." the other horses are fat and healthy while Phantom is thin needing this type of feed. Also I told her I was going to buy phantom a good strong blanket for the winter because he's not gaining weight(because he's not getting HIS feed)and he has no fat to protect him she told me he's fine with his coat. He gets a good winter coat but when he gets wet that does nothing because he has no fat also he's no spring chicken he's about 23 or so so I felt he needed a blanket...is this a wrong assumption? Their younger horses get blanketed and brought in when the weather is bad but Phantom stays outside which I always thought was weird but never questioned it...I was going to be buying the blanket so it's not like I was asking her to buy it for me. Also when I ask her questions about something now like "Should I do this or that?" or "do you want me to birng your horse in for you?" she snaps at me and then walks away....like Phantom got kicked a few times in the trailer and his legs were bleeding pretty bad and he was limping....she told me to let him walk it off and turn him out then she left me alone in the barn trying to figure out what to do first basically I ended up hosing his legs and looking more closely at the cuts some were deepish but not bad bad then I put antibiotic on them and turned him out he was still limping I guess they stung but I felt horrible ~sigh~ I wish she had helped me a bit I rarely have problems with phantom getting hurt. Also she punched phantom in his neck. I had him tied in the barn and she had her horse tied next to him(about a horse length away) as I walked to the tack room Phantom shifted his weight to watch me and as I was coming back he shifted a tad more just watching me not doing anything wrong she flipped and yelled at him then walked over and punched him in the side of his neck well he jumped a little becuase he wasn't expecting anything and she smacked him again for jumping. I was speechless he hadn't done anything wrong and she hit him in front of me no less. I didnt know what to say so I kinda just stayed quiet. I'm also fearing that she is going against what she believes. She says animal abuse is bad but I feel she abuses her animals. She had a cat and apparently it got sick..it was acting like it was something neurological her head was shaking and she looked stoned....she put it in a carrier and left it in the living room, then she found out people were coming over and she moved the cat outside and left it there to die I asked her if she was going to have the vet see it or at least put it to sleep and she said the cat wasn't worth it...she left the cat out in the cold to freeze to death. They have other indoor animals so I wouldve thought she would at least want to see if it was contagious. Also their 35 yr old horse just sits in her field all the time but M wanted to take her to a pony party....she brought the horse in (this horse is never messed with...they never do anything with her) and mind you she is thin(due to age) well M tried lifting her hoof and the horse just kept her foot on the ground...M got mad and pounded her in the ribs and yelled at her...M's daughter started freaking out on her for it saying that the horse doesn't understand...M said she would make her understand...that poor horse is old and blind and should be in retirement I even offered for Phantom to go to the pony party instead but she said no cause it would tire him out too quickly...he's a heck of a lot younger than the other horse. Also she tried training a horse recently and she made him stand in the barn on a leadline (the barn has concrete floors keep in mind) she told him to stand and he did but then he shifted his weight after a few mins and she started yanking(pulling up and down really fast and hard) on the leadline and yelling at him...he took a step backwards and she kit him in the head(he's headshy) and he spazzed and slipped on the floor and the whole time he's trying to gain his feet again she's yelling at him and yanking on the leadline. I don't think that's training. And she just yells at and hits the animals for what seems like no reason at all...their dog sits under the trailer at shows and if he barks she grabs the leash and yanks him out from under it and yells in his face.
Also we were watching reining on TV and I mentioned that I wanted to get into it in the near future. She looked at me and said "Reining is stupid and useless anyone can lope around in a circle." that kind of hurt my feelings a bit but I still plan on getting into reining once I find a trainer.
Also whenever she does talk to me she's gossiping and lying about her other "friends" she told me the saddle im using on her one friends horse was hers....i asked this friend if that was true and he was like no way and showed me the receipt from when he bought it. I really don't enjoy listening to her gossip but I just smile and nod even if I don't agree....all of her "friends" tell me the only reason why I am hearing all the gossip is because everyone else is tired of listening to her. She also doesn;t like when I hang out with other horsey friends...I went over my one friends house for her birthday and when I told her about it she freaked and was like "why would you go over there. Theres no reason for you to be over there.".....there's been a lot more stuff going on too but I will only add if asked because this is already really long.
My friends(the people who own the brown horse I've been riding) are also her friends and they just got an openning at their place and offered it to me because they see what I'm going through. And they will have Phantom on the feed he needs( that I buy) and also blanket him for me this winter(i buy the blanket of course) Everything for the same amount im paying now. I definitely don't want to pass it up they have grass(where he is now he doesn't), a round pen, a racetrack, a riding field, they bring the horses in the barn during bad weather, and they blanket all there old guys. Also they don't hit their animals unless they do something dangerous and even then it's an open palm not a fist....their animals live in heaven basically they get everything they need and then some. I have been talking to them about it for a while and I feel like it is definitely a good choice to move Phantom there...ive been riding there a few times too and they don't yell at me for loping my horse if I lope phantom where we are now she yells and says all I want to do is run run run...I will remain friends with M if she wants. I know her husband would have no problem with it because I talked to him and their daughter about it...they think it's a good idea(they've been having trouble with her lately too...it's saddens me to say that her husband took off his wedding ring and threw it away that's how upset she is making him
he explained everything to me one day). My only problem is M. I will obviously give her a few weeks notice because I feel it would be rude not to......I just want to get away from the stress and everything I'm seeing because it's getting harder to keep my mouth shut as I see what goes on with the animals. It's like she changed so much in a short period of time and I can't figure out why. When im around her it's like walking on eggshells.
So I think I am definitely going to take my friends up on the offer but I don't want any bad blood between me and M or M and them. Plus she has told me multiple times that I can move him but still.
Do you think it is a good idea that I move him?
If you need to know anything else just ask me I feel like my post is already too long so like I said if you need to know anything else just ask me.