I don't know, I'll be the voice of opposition here. I think it's great a 12 yr old wants to know the right way and is still excited and eager to go to the barn-to me, that doesn't say "broken spirit," that says responsibility and dedication beyond her years. So I applaud her dedication (and relate to being a horseless kid who would happily shovel poop to be at the barn, even if not in exchange for lessons.)
Now-sounds like BO has a system but is annoyed at giving continued instruction. You've mentioned other barn assistants being there, but not whether they could help instruct. I get that they might be on the clock and not have time to give a full on lesson. But could your daughter spend a day just watching their technique unobtrusively from the stall door? Could she tape the assistant or even BO doing a stall and study the technique on video? I know that sounds ridiculous to us, but to a really motivated 12 yr old who sounds like a visual learner, I bet it wouldn't sound too arduous, especially if it helped her start to feel like her contributions were more valuable.
Good luck OP-I think we'd be happy to have someone like your daughter at our barn! ;)
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