Should I say something to this boarder? - Page 2
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Barns, Boarding, and Farms > Barn Maintenance

Should I say something to this boarder?

This is a discussion on Should I say something to this boarder? within the Barn Maintenance forums, part of the Barns, Boarding, and Farms category
  • Publicly bad mouthing a boarding barn = libel suit
  • Crosstar equestrian boarding

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
    09-17-2010, 09:40 AM
  #11
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alwaysbehind    
The OP talks about her boarders very frequently on this BB. Does that not count as talking about them behind their backs?




I totally agree. TOTALLY!
[/COLOR][/LEFT]
LOL I suppose it does but of course, I am assuming no one knows who she is talking about.

I suppose we all need to vent at times but I think it really needs to be kept to a minimum, no one wants to listen to anyone who complains all the time. And no I am not stating that statement is directed to the op, that is just a blanket statement :)
     
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
    09-17-2010, 09:44 AM
  #12
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedNag    
LOL I suppose it does but of course, I am assuming no one knows who she is talking about.
I am assuming she does not have so many hundreds of boarders that if any one of them read this BB they would all know who she is talking about.
It is not like she does not clearly state who she is, so no guessing on what barn we are talking about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedNag    
I suppose we all need to vent at times but I think it really needs to be kept to a minimum, no one wants to listen to anyone who complains all the time. And no I am not stating that statement is directed to the op, that is just a blanket statement :)
Do not disagree.

Some vents need to be shared with friends. Not posted on the internet for all to read. And certainly do not turn around after posting them on the internet and claim you do not talk about people behind their backs.
     
    09-17-2010, 09:51 AM
  #13
Showing
There's no such thing as real anonymity on the internet.

Any of her boarders could find this BB and read things about themselves they probably wouldn't like to see.

I know the OP was just trying to be 'chatty' with her boarders by writing up a newsletter but unfortunately, as she's found out, things like that can come back to haunt you.

I've always figured if people want to share their stories, they'll do it themselves. Welcoming a new boarder is all well and good, but I'd leave the personal information out of it.
     
    09-17-2010, 09:53 AM
  #14
Yearling
So you pretty much gave out personal information to a whole bunch of people. Wow, I would be pissed too. And you just did it a second time by posting it here. You need to keep you mouth shut. Sorry.
     
    09-17-2010, 10:07 AM
  #15
Weanling
I would say whatever you feel like you need to say or it will only fester and come out in an uncontrolled outburst plus add alot of tension to the environment. Just say what is on your mind in a way that conveys your feelings that they betrayed you. You were wrong in writing heresay, you know that. Own up to it and apologize - get that off of your chest as well. You probably ticked them off with taking away the discount or something, you never know with people. Maybe you should consider sending out a new newsletter with the sole purpose of apologizing for your own actions, and then confront the people who shared the info. Sh*t stirring will only get worse if you don't nip it in the bud and I am sure you don't want your business to flop over one error...be professional about it not caddy.
     
    09-17-2010, 10:33 AM
  #16
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by starlinestables    
I am a very honest and straight forward person in general. I'm not big on talking about people behind their backs.. If I can't say it to their face it's not worth saying. So this is KILLING me! :oP
I think the fact that your post started with this statement as a disclaimer is telling. Not trying to be rude here but what you did by printing what is essentially gossip in a newsletter contradicts this very statement and is evidence of conduct in a manner most unprofessional, if I was moving to your barn I would be reconsidering my decision based entirely on this story. Now that isn't to say that it is a true relfection of your character but for people that don't know you that may be all they have to go on.

I think the lady that is moving to your barn deserves an apology from you for making her life more difficult than it was. I also think the other barn owners deserve an apology since what you said was offensive and based on hearsay, not on your own experience (not that I think anyone would actually apologize to them in real life for such a transgression, that type of thing happens all the time).

I hope everything works out for everyone and most importantly that the horse in question is still being looked after appropiately, after all, it isn't his/her fault that all these humans are being childish!

Hopefully you will be careful what you print in your newsletter, stick to uplifting stories and positive thoughts, no one will ever be offended by that type of publication! Also bear in mind that if you print and distribute something you are opening yourself to all sorts of defamation accusations if you say something negative that can't be substantiated, tread very very carefully there.
     
    09-17-2010, 11:10 AM
  #17
mls
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by herdbound    
then confront the people who shared the info. Sh*t stirring will only get worse if you don't nip it in the bud and I am sure you don't want your business to flop over one error...be professional about it not caddy.
Not confront - no. That will get around the area very quickly. "Don't cross Star - she'll rip your head off." REAL good way to get a bad reputation as a b!tch and closed minded BO. If anything - ask that in the future if they have any issues - they bring them to you instead of forwarding to anyone else.

Bascially - what's done is done. Own up and apologize for your actions. As a BO it can be very hard to leave emotions behind. Boarding is truly about people - with horses thrown in to stir the pot.
     
    09-17-2010, 12:15 PM
  #18
Yearling
I agree, as a former boarder, that there are a lot of boarders who feed on the drama - and there's always some type of drama in a barn. If you apologize to the new boarders for letting it slip out in the newsletter and causing problems for them, they will have to respect you for that. You could maybe give them a discount privately on their first month's board or throw in something extra for them? Let's face it, most people today don't have the integrity to own up to an error in judgment (such as saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how that sounded in print; it's a lesson learned that people gossip in the horsey community...") and it takes the wind out of others' sails when you own up that you would do it differently the next time.

Do this face to face - it's too easy to make mistakes when something is put in writing, it's misunderstood or picked apart word by word. (Just like the newsletter.)

I don't know that I agree that an apology is necesary to the former barn owners...IMHO that depends on your community and how connected the barns are in your area, and how much damage the newsletter did to your own business and reputation. I think that if the former barn owners are mad, their action will be to go to a lawyer whether or not they get an apology from you...and anything you say can be used against you.

And I agree with the other posters that your grumpy boarder needs to be talked with, to let them express whatever burr is under their saddle, so to speak. You may or may not want to try to fix the problem, but it's fair to ask them to bring their issues directly to you instead of spreading innuendo and bad mouthing you to others. I think if I ever were a barn owner I'd make up a 'code of conduct' for boarders, to include that type of thing! Tell me first, or hold your tongue, so to speak!
     
    09-17-2010, 01:39 PM
  #19
Started
My last post on this thread. If my friend was the barn owner of the other barn, you would bet I would let her know. I never read in the op's post the that the person who forwarded the email was grumpy, but as others have stated on here, it should have NEVER been included in a newsletter.

I would have been hesitant to air my feelings here as well. As the forwarded email combined with the op's original post could make for a great libel suit. LIBEL: a false and malicious publication printed for the purpose of defaming a living person. For those who don't understand the difference in libel and slander.
The only person to blame here is the op who had an obligation not to disclose the name of the barn in question. Though she did not here it was clearly evident according to the op in her email. I have been a long time boarder and still board. I would never bad mouth any of the places I have boarded at. But that is just me....

ETA: The reason this is my last post on the subject is I can beat a subject to death when my mind it not going to be changed. Just as I don't expect to change anyone else's I don't need to keep repeating myself by rewording my thoughts.
     
    09-17-2010, 01:46 PM
  #20
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedNag    
For those who don't understand the difference in libel and slander.
Basically, one is written and one is spoken. Slander is spoken.
     

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New boarder SierraSyd Horse Talk 2 10-18-2009 08:02 PM
How to be a good boarder starlinestables Barn Maintenance 42 08-22-2009 04:20 PM
War with a fellow boarder!!!!!! horse_luver4e Horse Health 15 08-02-2009 05:50 PM
Big problem with boarder! starlinestables Barn Maintenance 25 07-05-2009 11:30 PM
Looking for a boarder Jojo Barn Maintenance 1 11-11-2007 12:25 PM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:09 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0