Sort of upset with BO- should I be?

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Sort of upset with BO- should I be?

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    08-14-2011, 09:08 AM
Sort of upset with BO- should I be?

So my BO often drops off her teenage daughters and their 4 yr old sister at the barn. The 4 yr old is pretty out of control and does pretty much whatever she wants.

Last night she rode her scooter directly at Lucky while he was cross tied and I was in the tack room grabbing a brush. It spooked him and he reared repeatedly in the cross ties with the little girl right there. He lost his footing and slipped/slid several times. I ran out when I heard a commotion, got in between them and calmed him down.

I just keep thinking how bad this could have been. The little girl could've been hurt or killed, Lucky could've fallen when he started slipping and hurt himself. I could've been hurt trying to diffuse the situation. As it is, Lucky has some cuts from his halter, the kid was scared to death and I am kind of mad.

I don't think the kid should have the scooter at the barn. I don't think she should be only supervised by teenagers if they are going to let her run wild. I think this is an accident waiting to happen. The child has been almost kicked in the head by a different horse(not mine) on several occassions.

I don't want to switch barns for the known evil versus unknown evil factor... but... I don't want to be around when someone or someones horse gets hurt because this child has no discipline either... am I wrong in being upset?
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    08-14-2011, 09:25 AM
Green Broke
I don't think you're wrong. I think it should be addressed. What did you do or say after this happened? Someone needs to say something.
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    08-14-2011, 09:26 AM
I would be upset. Thank god she didn't get hurt. I have a 6 yo daughter who spends a lot of time in the barn with me. While she has toys out there, she knows that she is to wait until horses aren't in the aisle to play with them. I welcome her distractions and noise once I'm in the indoor and she is on the other side of the gate. She isn't allowed to pass the gate while I'm working horses, ever. I even let her drive her power wheel mustang in the aisle IF there are no horses in it.

I would have a talk with your BO and share your concern for her daughter's safety. If she isn't responsive to it, then you have a much bigger problem and at that point I would certainly consider changing barns. That's not only a liability & danger for the BO but anyone who houses their horses there.
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    08-14-2011, 09:36 AM
Originally Posted by mbender    
I don't think you're wrong. I think it should be addressed. What did you do or say after this happened? Someone needs to say something.
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I asked the girls if they would be sure to tell their mother what happened as she was still not there when I left at 8pm. I also comforted the little one and told her she needed to be more careful as she could get hurt. I wasn't really sure what else to say. I don't mind the kid being around but that situation should never have happened imo.

MH, that seems perfectly reasonable. It seems like you are trying to make sure everyone including your child stays safe. I suppose I will have to speak to the BO. I'm pretty nonconfrontational so that'll be difficult. Any advice on how to approach it? I know moms can be like lionesses with their cubs so I don't want to put her on the defensive or have her think I am trying to tell her how to parent her child. I learned long ago not to tell someone how to parent lol
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    08-14-2011, 10:18 AM
Green Broke
I'm a parent and if my child was in danger I would want someone to tell me. I believe either mom will not send the little one with the teens or be there with the little one. You aren't telling her How to parent, you are expressing a safety issue that involves her child. She needs to be aware of it. Just simply explain the situation and ask her what we (as in you and her) can do to make sure everyone stays safe? It actually should be her as a parent to make the choice but you are simply expressing your concern for her daughters safety.
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    08-14-2011, 10:30 AM
I think mb gave great advice on approaching her. As a mom I would be more upset not being told about my child being in harm's way. I would tell her you felt you had to discuss it with her because you don't want anyone or any animal getting hurt, first & foremost her young child. No mom should argue with that.

While I don't have boarders, I have other people's horses in for training and safety for all is of the utmost importance. If that means my little monkey has to wait 15 minutes quietly before she can play, so be it. Its pretty tough for her to be idle sometimes but she has seen me dealing with most bad, scary & unpredictable behaviors young horses can present and does respect the rules because of it....though I did catch her ON my yearling awhile back when she was supposed to be going to the house for gatorade lol!
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    08-14-2011, 12:41 PM
I've been in two barns where the kids got out of control. Barn #1 was with a scooter (the kid knew he wasn't supposed to ride the scooter in the barn and my horse spooked and almost slammed me against the tacking stall wall. If I hadn't moved over by chance just at that moment, I would have been badly hurt) and barn #2 the BO was nowhere to be found and left her 3y/o in the indoor ring alone while I was riding without asking anyone to watch her. The kid started rattling a metal shovel against a metal door which my horse got nervous about. When I asked her to stop she said "no" so I got off and led her out of the ring amicably. The next day her mother had a screaming fit at me that I was not touch her child under any circumstances and threw me out of the barn.

I'm just saying this because your telling the BO about this can end in a lot of ways. You still should discuss it with the BO, but don't be surprised if she isn't reasonable.
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    08-15-2011, 02:02 AM
OMG! I'm a BO and I have a 3 1/2 year old. If my child did something like that I would be MORTIFIED! I'm the type of parent when safety is involved, there are no warnings and it goes straight to a spanking. That would've been a spanking! My hypothetical teenage daughters would be grounded as well to make a very strong point!

You handled this better than I would've. I don't screw around with safety. Period. I don't care if you're the president of the freaking United States, if your putting my safety, my horses safety or your safety at risk I'm going to say something. I personally try my best to predict the future when it comes to safety. If I saw a scooter, I would've said "Hey guys, I'm going to be in the wash rack another 5 minutes could you make sure not to ride that in front of him? My horse will flip and I don't want anyone to get hurt".

You didn't see it and you did the right thing by trying to correct the situation as quickly as possible. I would've told all the kids to NOT ride that thing near MY horse ever. I would send their mom an email to let her know what happened. You have every right to be upset. My email would say " I'm not sure if your girls told you or not, but sally rode a scooter at my horse in the wash rack and it really scared my horse and put everyone's safety at risk. I've seen Sally's safety compromised on other occassions as well and wanted to make sure you were aware. I understand that this is your barn/home and you guys should be able to do whatever you like on your property, but I'm not comfortable with scooters being ridden that closely to my horse. Please let me know if this is an activity that will continue to happen at the barn, if that's the case, I will sadly have to make other arrangements for my horse."
    08-15-2011, 02:40 AM
You have the right to be upset by this why wouldn't you be?
This could have been a bad situation the horse, girl, and yourself could have all been hurt.
Thankfully none of you were hurt except a few cuts on your horse.
The teenagers either need to really watch her or someone needs to address the situation.
Even if you aren't confrontational, you still need to confront the BO before someone gets hurt.
You shouldn't have to worry about someone else's child while you are working with your horse.
I would most definitely confront the BO so nothing happens to you, any horses, or her child even.
    08-15-2011, 02:54 AM
I would make it all about her child's safety, not about your horse spooking. After you make sure that she understands what happened, how it was handled, and that you're concerned for her child's safety because of her child's behavior, you can bring up the fact that your horse was slightly injured by the incident. I am a mother and I know that if my child was acting in a way that was unsafe, especially around horses, I would want to know about it. BUT, if someone came to me and said "Your kid rode a scooter at my horse and spooked it and now he's got cuts and blah blah blah" I'd be MUCH less likely to be willing to listen to them.

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