What to say or not to? Boarder/friend issue - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 15 Old 09-28-2010, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
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Question What to say or not to? Boarder/friend issue

I have a dilema with a friend/boarder. I know I know never have friends in business deals but it was an emergancy so I caved.


I have a written contract that I have been following to the letter. I have done my job and informed the O of any and all problems w/ H.

The horse lost weight from when it first arrived (long/hard rides on a mainainance ration) I informed owner of the need to provide more hay for the horse (she purchases her own feed and I store it for her) She got a little more hay but continually blames me for the weight loss when she hasn't provided the nessesary feed or cut back on her rides.

She also blamed me for a wither sore that occured when she rode in a poorly fitted saddle. I provided the treatment, medications and time to heal the injury and I spent about $30-$40 of my own money and I didn't ask for it back.

She had some job issues and I traded 4 months board in trade for an old 5th wheel trailer she had. Now the traded time is up and O is a month behind on boarding fees ($50 per mo due on the 15th of the mo). I have asked O when she would be able to pay the fee and she says by the end of the month. She has been late in the past and I basically provided 4 months of free board since I don't have the trailer on my property cause her jobless brother, and occasionally his girlfriend, are living in it at the moment.

I don't want to come across as rude to her since shes been my friend for years before the horse arrived but I really find this unacceptable. I understand the economy is hard right now and $50 may not seem like a lot but thats 1/4 of my feed bill per month for my own two horses and I asked my other boarders to leave after the chased and hit my TB gelding with a rake "cause he was hurting their mare." (they were grooming each other!:roll:) So I lost that source of income and since I'm currently in college I can't afford to be giving handouts all the time.

How should I approach this situation? I would like to keep this person as my friend and work through all this but I'm getting burned. HELP!!!
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post #2 of 15 Old 09-28-2010, 05:59 PM
Green Broke
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She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. Why put yourself through that? Sounds like she is taking advantage of you. Tell her that you need the money she agreed to pay. Tell her she can either give you the last four months board or the fifth wheel trailer. OR you can repo the horse for non-payment of board.

What does your contract say?
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post #3 of 15 Old 09-28-2010, 06:18 PM Thread Starter
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Un fortunately I didn't put the horse repo thing in her contract. I wrote up a special contract for her due to the emergancy situation. She was originally supposed to be moving out of state to a barn that needed an RVT and they would board her horse as part of her salary. So I wasn't to concerned with that. Now looking back on it that wasn't the best idea...bussiness self kicks kind mushy self in rear...

It's not so much I don't know what to say it's I don't know how to say it in a not super B*tchy way. I'm tired of waiting and excuses. I feed, water, clean up after, doctor and groom her horse every day as per our contract but she can't come up the $50 that we agreed on? And I don't charge her a late fee (my other boarders paid $200 per horse granted I did buy the hay for their horses and the paid a $15 per day late fee.) So I know I'm gonna come off as a bit of a grouch. I don't mind her staying *IF* she'll agree to re-write the contract and giving the board due and pay an extra deposit fee. But I can't figure out the best way to say that. Written notice? Verbal notice? Verbal and written notice?
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post #4 of 15 Old 09-28-2010, 06:32 PM
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You might want to start by writing her a letter or e-mail. Try to explain to her, in a respectable way, that you can't afford to be cutting down small costs for her.

Horses aren't just a pleasure, they are an escape from all evils of mankind.

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post #5 of 15 Old 09-28-2010, 08:11 PM
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I think emails are easy to take offense to. I would do it in person and politely. If you loose a friend over it then she wasn't much of a friend so there really isn't a loss. If you don't take care of this now you will just loose more money. I think you should be getting rent on the trailer also if someone is living in it. Although I am curious as to what type of a trailer for 200.00 someone could live in????
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post #6 of 15 Old 09-29-2010, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by churumbeque View Post
I think you should be getting rent on the trailer also if someone is living in it. Although I am curious as to what type of a trailer for 200.00 someone could live in????
It's an old 5th wheel camper that was her parents in like the early 90's. The inside was rather crappy but the frame is good so I was gonna turn it into a flat bed hay hauler. Her brother lost his job and moved in with her and began fixing the trailer up cause his girlfriend would come over and well yeah ...Any way it's actually livable now. I don't want to charge rent cause they saved me the effort of fixing it but at the same time I didn't ever agree to let her brother live in it.

My biggest issues is I've confronted her face to face about it just politely asked when she might have the $ and she got all defensive about how I know she isn't getting much work and all that. I told her I wouldn't mind cutting down the fee if she would help out around the place. Maybe coming by and feeding her own horse or helping muck out or something and she didn't even respond to that she just says I'll have the $ at the end of the month.

I don't know maybe I just need to get tough and say: "Your board is late and I'm going to start charging late fees, and I need the 5th wheel or rent and board for the last 4 months."
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post #7 of 15 Old 09-29-2010, 02:42 PM
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This is the end of the month and if you offered her to work it off and she declined that is your cue to get tough. She obviously has extra time to work to help you
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post #8 of 15 Old 09-29-2010, 03:24 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks everyone for your help I guess I just need to tough it out. This wouldn't be such an issue if it wasn't someone I'd know for so long and ..use to.. have a ton of respect for. I have set up a meeting with her for tomorrow and hope fully..fingers crossed.. all goes well. Thanks again for all the advice.

Up with the light, work till the night...and often into it
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post #9 of 15 Old 09-29-2010, 05:31 PM
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She is not being a friend to you, she is taking advantage of your friendship and she probably realizes you won't push for the money or trailer.
Times are tough, but you also have to live and feed your horses so times are tough for you also. You need to be direct and to the point and if she gets mad and you lose your friendship, then it seems is must have been onsided, you concerned about the friendship more than her.
If she cant pay the $50, then she should not have a horse is the way I see it. I bet she drives her car which requires gas, has a cell phone which requires money and does what she wants, doesn't she?
As far as the trailer, her brother and girlfriend need to vacate it or pay the $200 immediately. They are also using you and using the "we are friends" thing with his sister to keep living in the trailer.
A friendship is a wonderful thing, but sometimes when one person takes advantage of it, its not longer a friendship, its based on how far she can push you to confronting her.. Tomorrow is the last day of the month, I say she needs to pay you what she owes you or you need to forget the friendship and get your money any way you have to.
good luck
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post #10 of 15 Old 09-30-2010, 05:27 AM
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I've been at the other end of this: boarding at a friend's and she took advantage of me (trailing cost me twice as much, I had to buy her horse a new blanket when it was chewed over two weeks - she didn't move the horses around and I also wasn't sure it was my horse that did the damage, charged me for an hour worth of training on my horse and continually only rode for 15 minutes each time). I've been friends with her for 15 years and this seriously hurt our relationship. Mainly because I was hurt and mad at myself for letting her take advantage of me.

In business deals you really learn who is a friend. And this 'O' is being selfish. Sometimes people are ignorant and don't realize that what they are doing impacts other people. Explain to her you're not rolling in the dough either right now, and can't afford to keep her horse stabled on your property without payment by the end of the month. If not, and if she means a great deal to you, perhaps offer to help find her another place or hint that she should lease/sell her horse.
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