What you are looking for, you are not going to find on the internet.
By all the questions you are asking, you need someone in person helping you. Find a trainer to help you. It does not necessarily need to be a barrel racing trainer (any general trainer can help you with your position in the saddle, and controlling your horse) but it would be helpful since that is what you want to do.
It would be like if I started asking people on the internet how to fly a plane. How do I go through my pre-flight check? What do I need to do with the controls during take off? How do I land a plane? Etc. Everyone would think I am crazy for asking how to fly a plane on the internet. It should be no different when a very inexperienced rider needs assistance with their horse.
∞•*˚ Βгįťţαňγ ˚*•∞
It is not enough to know how to ride; one must know how to fall.