If you are not experienced at all in cutting, I would think it would be VERY hard to figure it all out on your own. One of the most vital parts of training is having someone else (like a trainer) watch you work in order to see what you need to improve on. Since they have a load of experience, they can pick up even the slightest thing that may be adjusted (like don't dip your shoulder, or put your feet forward more, or tip his nose in more, etc...) I understand how addicting it is...I was hooked first time I worked the flag! However, it is a very expensive hobby, and if you're going to invest the time and money into it, it may be best to make sure you have all the resources available to make it worthwhile :/ It may not be what you want to hear...but maybe you could try out the team sorting or something a little bit to get a cow fix? I don't really know what else to tell ya..I wish you good luck!!!