Because all dressage riders are of course serious people - Page 3

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Because all dressage riders are of course serious people

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  • Fail dressage
  • Horseshoes is serious t shirts

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    10-20-2011, 04:15 PM
Green Broke
Originally Posted by Golden Horse    
Please tell me you really didn't visit the judges lunch table?
Oh yep, nothing short of spectacular I can assure you!! Bobs is a firecracker when she wants to be ha. Still hasn't unseated me (yet) so I am claiming an overall victory

She's mellowing....slowly.
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    10-20-2011, 04:21 PM
We haven't got a bowing down in awe smiley, so that will have to do, that is awesome!
    10-20-2011, 05:08 PM
Super Moderator
Here you go, GH...

    10-20-2011, 05:20 PM
Green Broke
OK, now I'm embarrassed you guys!

To get the thread back on track here is my fave dressage T-Shirt EVER!!!

    10-24-2011, 10:05 PM
Originally Posted by sarahver    
Oh yep, nothing short of spectacular I can assure you!! Bobs is a firecracker when she wants to be ha. Still hasn't unseated me (yet) so I am claiming an overall victory

She's mellowing....slowly.

We have incorporated a perfect exit and entrance of the arena while circling at C or A... nothing like getting "lovely jumping form" on your score sheet.
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    11-23-2011, 12:11 AM
20 signs your dressage test need work . . .
  • Under judges remarks she writes only: "Nice braid job."
  • Horse confuses dressage arena rail for a cavaletti; exits at K.
  • Your circles shape reminds the judge that he should pick up eggs on the way home.
  • Your serpentine was perfect, except that it was supposed to be a straight centerline.
  • Sitting trot has caused some fillings to be loosened in lower molars.
  • Your horse believes "free walk" means leaving the arena and heading towards the nearest patch of grass.
  • Your working trot had you working harder then your horse.
  • In your salute, your inadvertently use your whip hand causing your horse to perform airs above the ground.
  • Your walk seems to be more "rare" than "medium."
  • Impulsion improves only after the horse sees monsters in the decorative shrubbery near letters.
  • Your horse's response to the canter aid is "Can't, er, what?"
  • Your twenty meter circle involved jumping the rail twice.
  • Your halt took place in the judge's lap, instead of at X.
  • Your thoroughbred interpreted elasticity to involve trying to kick himself in the head with his back feet during the working canter.
  • Your horse entered the arena at A, and M, and H, and B...
  • Judge's comments include words like "unusual, dramatic, explosive, and tragic"
  • Leg-yields involve your leg yielding before the horse does.
  • Free walk was interpreted by your Arab to involve prancing, a rear, and a few bucks.
  • The judge asks you take the broken letters with you when you leave.
  • Voodoo dolls of your horse were found in the possession of the show's grounds manager.
    11-23-2011, 12:26 AM
Just thought I'd share my award I received from the local dressage club at the annual awards meeting we just had. Because I am SO amazing I got "Best Unplanned Exit Award". Who knew that jumping out of the arena, twice in one test, was bad?! At least I can only get better!
    11-23-2011, 12:37 AM
LOL, I'm going to see if we can get some creative awards for next year. Congrats to you and Peanut on your unplanned exits
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    11-25-2011, 05:06 PM
Green Broke
This made me smile :)

Half-Halts And Transitions: Dressage Terms For Life Lessons | The Chronicle of the Horse
    11-25-2011, 05:12 PM
Sorry this isn't specific to dressage, but this is so painfully true I have to post it periodically:

The Seven Stages of Aging on Horseback

Stage 1: Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.

Stage 2: Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horse’s neck. Ride until sundown.

Stage 3: Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.

Stage 4: Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.

Stage 5: Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.

Stage 6: Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, “You again?” Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isn’t that noticeable. Promise husband you’ll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.

Stage 7: Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you don’t see husband roll his eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.

Stage 8: Go to see horse. Momentarily consider riding but remember arthritis won’t let you lift leg high enough to reach stirrup — even when on mounting block. Share beer with grateful horse & recall “good old days”.

ETA - I am somewhere between stage 6 and stage 7, but only because I have artificial joints and implanted medical devices. Uh huh. That's what I'm telling myself.

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