How to teach a pony to start breaking at the poll with out giving them a hard mouth.

Well Sky is not an "over bent horse who's back is not up under the saddle and a very latteraly unsteady head carriage which undermines you when you try to teach latteral work"

In fact he has learned to accept contact and use his back. It's still not perfect but we've come far from where we once were. Which was a bracing evading giraffe horse mess.

Since I have not seen video of Sky to be able to comment I wont comment on individual horses.

I am currently reschooling an ex race horse who was a stiff stargazing giraffe, i've sat on her 6 times and she is now going in a very soft (but very green) outline, with her arse under her, her back up and using herself correctly. I've never vibrated the reins on her, all I have done is ride forwards into a steady elastic contact, taught her the value of actualy shifting her arse when told to (very lazy mare who threw her toys out of the pram when asked to do any work at all) and worked on small circles, serpintines, pole work etc.

That's great :) I'm glad she's coming around.

Elastic contact is VERY important, I agree.

On an off note: I'm still working out how to keep my arms but still be elastic.. it's tricky for me..

I guess it's more in the action than just telling someone to do something though. And of course what works best for the horse.

The one thing I do know is that it's not good to yank them about though as that just creates bracing..

I'm still learning though :)

My trail horse wouldn't give his jaw until one day, in a loose ring snaffle, I tried lightly stroking the rein with my pinkie, once and was astounded as to how sensitive he was. He immediately gave his jaw and relaxed at the poll. When monkeying around on other horses they too began to respond to the light touch.

Just to add another exercise, ground poles help a horse to move correctly, and the head and neck will go into place because of that. I like to set up 4 or 5 trotting poles and have them be the center of a figure 8 (where I ask for lateral flexion). Try to incorporate then into every ride as it really helps to get the back working correctly.

As others have said, lateral flexion from the ground really, really helps soften the jaw and it might help to try long lining (ground driving) with her as well. :)

OP, do you work with the trainer? (sorry if I missed it in one of your long posts) Because that's your first step - find a good dressage trainer who can watch you riding and help you with the problem. As others said there are no magical tricks to bring horse on a bit - only time and correct riding can do it.

Awh thank you so much for saying sorry the other members where abut harsh Gypsygirl I really appreciate your tips 2.
And thank you to all the other people's tips I really appeciate them to allot of it was quite helpfull thank you !

you're welcome ! Let us know how things are going with your pony's training !