Gosh you guys are harsh, firing someone else's trainer based on a students explination of learning how to put a horse on the bit. You can't just kick a horses hind end and magically expect it to go into a frame. It takes a combination of both bridle and legging the hindend into engagement, stressing only one of either isn't going to solve the problem. I'm having a tough time assesing how much your hands are really moving, at first it sounded like you were a beginner learning how to lock your knuckles on the neck or in the mane and move with the horses motion, appearing still because they don't change position, a good step to truly still hands, while also exploring the idea of putting your horse on the bit and in a frame. I think the OP likes to see the horses head set, and it's a reward for her to accomplish it, not neccesarily the trainer stressing the head has to be in a positon. She is probably just covering it one step at a time, then the whole picture will be realized. Obviously she has pointed out that her hands are affecting the horses headset, so maybe it's not trying to get the horse in a frame, by trying to stop her hands from preventing a horse who will always go in a frame when not interfered with in the mouth. The confusion set in when you stated that your hands don't really move, just subtly, and most decent advanced riders can claim the same folly. Maybe you need to video yourself and see just how much your hands are really moving, probably more than you realize but this is to be expected, and you will realize where you tend to get worse or better. Some sort of strap around the neck really helps, rather than a saddle pad (to bulky with the reins and pad in your hand). A neck strap also can move up and down the neck more for proper positioning and steadying. Twine will work, or if you want to look a little more classy, a stirrup leather. Talk to your trainer about using a neck strap and then be really dillegent about using it every single time you ride so you always are able to focus on this problem. Maybe your trainer doesn't know that you have set this as your goal, and if you tell him/her they will help you only work on that for a lesson or two. I wouldn't fire your trainer, give them a fair break, but if you are really unsure now whether they are teaching you properly then having another lesson with someone else can help you determine if you are happy where you are or maybe have outgrown the lesson horses being provided. Trainers sometimes get caught trying to teach their priorities, but if you have been riding there a long time, interjecting with some personal goals and ideas for what you want to be learning is a good idea, I am sure they will want to see you acheive it as much as you do.
Troubled TB ~"A thorn by any other name will prick just as deep." @-'--,---