OK thank you :) she won't pull my weight then until she's been hitched to and pulled the buggy. My buggy is actually quite nice, it was made in the 1800's and been restored a few times since... just needs to be restored again because a previous horse that Mum was breaking to harness had a spack attack and smashed it (was a TB mare that had been abused - she never had a "moment" again after that, because we didn't hit her for it). And it needs a new axel I think because the one it has has been bent (and fixed) at least once before, and it's bent at the moment. There used to be a harness maker in town, I'm not sure if he's still making harness but if anything in the harness I get isn't right I can get him to make it fit, or make a new one, IF he is still working. He would be quite old now, he was old 20+ years ago when Mum was breaking her first horse to harness.
She's not dragging me any more, it was only the first couple of times I took her off the property after I got her home nearly 10 months ago. I've always demanded better respect than that, so she learned pretty quickly that that's just not on. She still has her moments, she's a baby and she's a bitchy dominant mare, but she's getting there.
I only read the first page of the thread, but found it very interesting.
My girl will not pull if her gear is not fitting correctly, she can learn to wear it but I won't ask her to actually pull any weight. She won't have any weight on her back if her saddle isn't right, when the time comes to break her to saddle. Correct fit is very important to me, how can you train a horse to be willing and calm if the gear you're using is causing pain?