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Adult Beginner Nerves

12K views 52 replies 19 participants last post by  AtokaGhosthorse 
#1 ·
This is my first post here. I'm 34 and I'm starting riding lessons this Wednesday. Since I was a little girl, I've loved horses. Every Christmas and birthday I'd ask for a horse. When I got a little older I realized that my family was much too poor to afford a horse, so I started asking for riding lessons instead. We couldn't afford that either, and I realized that I'd have to wait until I could pay for them myself. Well, that day is finally here! [emoji1]

Here's my problem, I'm pretty nervous about my first lesson. Not so much about riding the horse, (I've ridden western a few times and even took a few free lessons way back when I was in 4-h), but about myself.

What if I can't ride English? I went for a trail ride last week and I felt surprisingly at ease. What little I learned when I was a kid came back quickly, but English is so different. I've always been interested in English riding, but western has always been more easily accessible.

I'm also worried about my weight. I'm 5'3 and 180lbs. Since I signed up for lessons, I've really been working on weight loss, and I've lost 5 lbs. [emoji3] I talked to the stable about my weight and they assured me it's not an issue, but I'm nervous that I'm going to have a hard time riding, and I worry about the horse having me flopping all over his back!

Do you guys have any tips to get over these nerves? Anything I can do to prepare for my lessons? Or am I just freaking myself out?

Thanks so much!
 
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#2 ·
Don't be nervous! You are entering a world full of rewards, soak up all you learn in lessons, enjoy and be a good student. This is your time, push aside all that nonsense about weight, you're going to lose weight riding that horse I tell ya. I have been riding and showing and everything else "horsey" for over 50 years and nothing makes me more impressed when an adult takes up riding AND takes lessons. My hat off to you girl, jump in with both feet, pay no mind to what others think, you do what you need to do to learn to ride. Again, good on you!
 
#3 ·
I am an adult rider (46) who rode Western as a kid. I did take lessons and had my own horse, but had never ridden English until a little over a year ago. I loved it! Was hooked right away. Although it does feel very different, once you get used to an English saddle, you forget you're riding in one. I find them comfortable, lightweight, and I like the fact that I have more contact with the horse. I went from not having ridden steadily for over 20 years (except for the odd touristy trail ride, but those hardly count) to cantering comfortably in an English saddle in a little over a year. My daughter jumps, so I'd like to try that soon, but am not in a rush.

Don't worry about your weight. You might find though, that as you start to progress in lessons, you will start losing it easily. When I do a lesson now, it's trotting and cantering for a solid hour. My legs are sore and my abs get a good workout! I also started doing pilates last fall, and yoga more recently. If, like me, you don't have access to a yoga class near your home or just don't have time to drive to one, try this in your own home: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene . A lot of these stretches will be really good for your riding. Often, beginner riders have stiff hips and lack core strength. Yoga will help you with those. Since getting back into horses, I can't say I've lost a ton of weight, but I sure am a lot more toned!

The most important thing though, is that you go with an open mind and a positive attitude. Have fun! If you feel yourself getting tense, practice deep breathing. Relax, and enjoy yourself! If things don't seem to be going well, just give yourself a minute to regroup. Visualize yourself doing well, and just believe it! It might not happen all at once, but it will happen eventually. I think that a lot of riding is in your head. When I was nervous at first, I was unbalanced. Gradually, I got more confident, my muscles got fitter, and I was able to take the leap of faith I needed to move to the next level. Give yourself time to get there. And in the meantime, smile and enjoy this time you get to spend with the most amazing creatures on earth.
 
#4 ·
your weight would only be an issue for a very small or light boned horse, and I mean small. you weight waht a typical man weighs, and they ride without a whiff of concern for their weight.

just don't let the small saddle get you nervous. we stay on by balance, really, not by huge amounts of leather built up around us. once you get used to riding English, you'll love the intimate feeling you have when there is less bulk between you and your horse. I've ridden both, and learned from both. both have wonderful aspects. I love how Western riding is on a loose rein and give the horse much more responsibility for how he positions himself and carries himself, to get a job done. I love how close one feels to the English ridden horse when you have a soft feel of the horse's mouth and can 'dialogue' with them via rein contact.

you'll have a great time, I'm sure, and will be able to share your adventures here!
 
#5 ·
Sandycat please don't be nervous....try not to focus on the technical aspect of riding, rather think about enjoying the horse, and your surroundings if you are outside. Sally Swift's 'Centred Riding' has brilliant advice in terms of mental imagery - having 'soft eyes', letting icecream dribble out of your heels, etc.
re the weight issue, the horse will not have a problem carrying you if you are not floppy - ie you need to have some muscle tone, some core strength to carry your upper body.
Above all, enjoy. Wishing you may years of happy riding!
 
#6 ·
I never sat on a horse until I was 37 and I am now a proud owner of a beautiful (well, to me) mare. I took and still take a lot of lessons. Weight wise, if the instructor isn't worried about her horses, go for it. It might slow down your progress a wee bit, but nothing to worry about.

And English riding really isn't all that different to Western. I learned English, got into a Western saddle and I was off on a trail ride within 5 minutes. 10 minutes later I completely forgot that the tack is different. I even cantered without a problem.

One thing you have to remember is: do NOT compare yourself to kids. You'll just get depressed 😂
 
#7 ·
Well done for going for it and taking lessons like you've always wanted to! :D I was about 168lbs when I started riding as a teenager. I've lost all that now as an adult but I find horse riding is a great motivation to keep it off! Like others have said, it's a very active sport anyway so if you're riding frequently, you'll just naturally lose some.

Do you guys have any tips to get over these nerves? Anything I can do to prepare for my lessons? Or am I just freaking myself out?
People have always told me to sing/talk to the horse when nervous. I'd say just to expect to progress slowly and you'll progress well. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need help.

One thing you have to remember is: do NOT compare yourself to kids. You'll just get depressed 😂
Even in my 20's this is great advice, haha. Some kids are just crazy good and seem to pick things up insanely quickly.
 
#8 ·
Thanks everyone for the replies. When I told my friends I was concerned about my weight they thought it was silly, but I feel better having actual horse people say it! Lol

I do think I'm going to like the closeness to the horse in English riding. It's actually one of the main things that drew me to it.

When I was in high school, I had a friend with horses. I'd go over her house and climb onto their little Arabian mare with no saddle, bridle, or helmet (stupid move, I know) and just ride around on her. We'd go when and where she wanted. I remember, one day I figured out that I could get her to turn by shifting my weight. I thought it was the coolest thing that I could communicate with her! It's hard to explain, but I just think it's amazing that we have these giant creatures that are so different from us, yet we can find a way to work together.

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#9 ·
Hi Sandycat
I ride english too really love it. I am sure you will have a great time and there is nothing to be worried about.
As a beginner (no matter if english or western rider) you have to find your balance first and that will take time and a lot of practice. The western horses i know have less "momentum" (I have no idea what the right word would be for this...) so they can be easier to sit in trot. But you will get use to the horses you take lessons with automaticly and your trainer will teach you what you need to know about the english technique.
Have fun and enjoy the experience :D
 
#11 ·
I second HorseF's comment - don't compare yourself to the kids. In fact, if you can, get into an adult beginner group. It's far less pressure! Trust me, I have done the adult beginner/semi-beginner group, and the jumper kids group. While I was proud of myself for keeping up with the kids, I was really pushing myself hard and ended up with a lot of aches and pains afterwards. I prefer the older group, LOL. We laugh, have fun, compare our aches and pains, and overall, just have fun. I've also found that with adults, we have conversations about why we do certain things a certain way, whereas with the kids and their shorter attention spans, the coach tends to just show them and go!

Don't compare yourself to anyone else, but it's not a bad idea to keep a journal of your progress. As I said above, I cannot believe how far I have come in a year! At 34, you're not quite 12 anymore, but you're still not old enough to be dealing with a lot of aches and pains. You'll do great!
 
#12 ·
I have to take a few private lessons before I can get in a class. My instructor said that for adults she teaches why we do things as well as how to do them. I think that will help me.

She said I'm going to learn how to catch, groom and tack the horses. Once she knows I can do it, I can come in early and get my horse ready so I can spend the whole hour riding.

She said that if I'd rather, one of the volunteers (it's a county owned stable) could catch and groom the horse ahead of time. I have no idea why any one would do that! Grooming is going to be so much fun! 😀 In fact, I'm thinking that once I get to know everyone, I might ask about volunteering myself.
 
#14 ·
Hi Sandy!

Well, I'm not your doctor to tell you to lose the weight, but I will tell you to lose the nerves, as the horse will assuredly pick up on it and reflect it back on you. I would go so far as to suggest a stiff drink or two to take the edge off. Seriously.

English vs Western: There is less to an English saddle, and they offer less rider support. Until you are used to them, be somewhat cautious going up and down steep grades, and also when transitioning into a canter; it's easy to wind up behind the saddle. Once you are accustomed to the feel of the saddle, you won't even think about it. Concentrate on "feeling" your center of gravity (your navel), and feeling the "alignment" with your horses center of gravity. Ride w/o the stirrups; I'm totally sure your instructor will have you doing that until your thighs scream for mercy. As your balance improves, your legs get to relax some.

Mostly remember that you are out to have fun, and when it stops being fun, get off. Take a break to process things, and come back to it later on; there simply is no reason to hurry.

Hope this helps! Steve
 
#17 ·
Congratulations on starting lessons! I think you will do fine once you actually get started. Everything takes time to learn so don't get discouraged if you don't get it right away--after all, you aren't ten! (Kids are so disgusting with how they pick things up so easily. Please don't compare progress with theirs!) But you also are not old so you will pick it up fairly quickly. And if it seems like you aren't, don't sweat it. Ask your instructor to explain it in a different way. And have fun!!!!!
 
#19 ·
Only 48 hours to go! I am too excited! 😁

I bought my helmet and boots already and I have been wearing the boots for the last week or so to break them in. I really only ever wear tennis shoes, so I need to practice walking in boots! Lol

I wonder what my horse will be like. When I took the stable tour, all the horses were friendly. They all came up to the fence or suck the head out the stall.

Do you usually ride the same one every week? Is it silly to bring a treat for him? My instructor said no hand feeding, but that I can bring something to put on his bucket.
 
#20 ·
Only 48 hours to go! I am too excited! ��

I bought my helmet and boots already and I have been wearing the boots for the last week or so to break them in. I really only ever wear tennis shoes, so I need to practice walking in boots! Lol

I wonder what my horse will be like. When I took the stable tour, all the horses were friendly. They all came up to the fence or suck the head out the stall.

Do you usually ride the same one every week? Is it silly to bring a treat for him? My instructor said no hand feeding, but that I can bring something to put on his bucket.
Depends. At my daughter and I's lesson barn, you start by riding the same horse from week to week, but then once you get fairly confident, our coach makes us ride different horses so we don't get too used to riding the same one!

I brought tic tacs to my lessons. The horse I rode at first really loved them and they're just little, so not too much sugar. She quickly learned to recognize the sound of my tic tac box, and we formed a bond pretty quickly because of it. However, some horses don't care for them. Carrots are also a good idea, but make sure you cut them up into small pieces. Only give one or two pieces, preferably after a lesson. Remember that several people may be riding the same horse in the course of a day, and if everyone gave it a big bunch of treats, it would get pretty unhealthy! A lot of people buy commercial horse treats, but there's no need. A plain carrot will be just as appreciated, if not more, and is much healthier. If you ever get really ambitious, I have a great recipe for horse treats made from flax seed and coconut oil. Simple to make, and no unhealthy ingredients. Especially stay away from sugar. They don't need it, and some of them really shouldn't have it.

Have fun! And let us know how it goes!
 
#22 ·
So I had my first lesson and it was amazing! My instructor was great. I rode a Clydesdale mix gelding named Indy. We spent half the time grooming and tacking, and half riding at a walk.

This was my first time in an English saddle and I really enjoyed it. I didn't feel uncomfortable or like I was going to fall. My instructor talked to me about the proper way to sit, and she went over half seat and two point position. It was a lot to take in, but she said that it'll all come with time.

Actually the thing I most felt uncomfortable with was leading the horse. That's going to take some practice, trying to keep his head at my shoulder.

When I went to go put him out in the paddock, the gate got away from me! There were three horses including Indy in the paddock, and you could almost see them roll their eyes at me! Lol
 
#28 ·
Me, every time I just pull the stall door shut and don't lock it because I just need to get tha bucket over there... and before I know it, my escape artist who has a sixth sense about unsecured doors is pushing his way out and heading towards the hay storage. All I need to say is "Harley, go back to your stall!" and he grabs a mouthful of hay, puts his head down, andputs himself back in his stall.
 
#31 ·
I'm glad to know that the gate wasn't not just a rookie mistake! Lol

I mentioned to my instructor that I want to learn about the whole horse, and not just riding. She said that she'd love to do a few ground work classes if I'm interested. What does a class like that usually entail?

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