Yes, balance will come from experience. When I first started riding at my old barn, I could barely hold it at the walk for more than a few seconds! Now I can walk, trot, canter, circle, or do whatever for pretty much as long as I want - with or without stirrups - in two-point! It will come...
Watch a few equitation medal courses on youtube and watch how they ride their fences.
And yes, sink your weight into your heels. Pretend you're "melting" and your heels are where everything's dripping from lol but it does help. And that should be at all gaits, the heels down.
Roll your knee into the knee roll of your saddle if it has one, that's why it's there.
Hold onto mane and the crest of your horse's neck. When I hold on I always give them scratches as a reward ^_^
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