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Craziest analogies your instructor has made

This is a discussion on Craziest analogies your instructor has made within the English Riding forums, part of the Riding Horses category

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        07-29-2013, 11:11 AM
    Originally Posted by SorrelHorse    

    She tells me my boobs are headlights. That's to keep my upper body lined up for equitation.

    "Gotta keep your headlights straight where you wanna go! Otherwise you'll be riding blind!"

    LMAO! That's a good one.
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        07-29-2013, 11:23 AM
    One of the kids I give lessons to has a hard time keeping her thighs against the saddle. One day, she really had to pee, and was embarrassed to ask if she could go in the house to use the bathroom. I noticed how she was standing, obviously let her know it was OK to go in the house.

    Next time she rode, I told her to ride like she had to pee. So every time I say her thighs start drifting away from the saddle I'd start yelling " I HAVE TO PEE!!"

    And yes, I have done the potty dance while she's practicing at a show ;)
        07-31-2013, 02:06 AM
    I had an instructor tell me 'heels down tits up' at lease once a day. Now Im not sure if he was trying to improve my riding or just wanted me to stick my tits out.. guess I will never know.
    demonwolfmoon and remka like this.
        07-31-2013, 02:23 AM
    "kick his sides like you do your husband" one of his faves when I forget to use my legs ha ha
    Also he has a couple more that I don't know if they are totally appropriate, but way funny!
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    remka likes this.
        07-31-2013, 02:27 AM
    I've been told to rise at the trot when my boobs hit my face lol
    demonwolfmoon and Sevastion27 like this.
        07-31-2013, 02:35 AM
    Originally Posted by bitinsane    
    I've been told to rise at the trot when my boobs hit my face lol
    Ummm I'm dense.... When does your boobs hit your face??
        07-31-2013, 02:38 AM
    Originally Posted by Fayewokf    
    Ummm I'm dense.... When does your boobs hit your face??
    LOL she was exaggerating
    Fayewokf and remka like this.
        07-31-2013, 02:00 PM
    "You paid to use all the corners in this ring, you better ride down into them."

    In regards to keeping your hands/thumbs up - "Pretend like you are holding a bird in each hand...if you don't close your fingers, they will fly away and if you ride with flat hands you are going to smash their heads together."

    "Bring the girls to the party and stretch up."
        08-03-2013, 11:58 AM
    When I was little and went on my first trail ride, my instructor asked me what my favorite food was, I said lasagna, so she compared the grass to lasagna, so I wouldn't let him eat.
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        08-05-2013, 12:05 PM
    If anyone in our class has our elbows out, our trainer tells us we have chicken wings. And to stop flapping them. LOL
    remka likes this.

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