Do you argue with your instructor? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #11 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 05:39 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ashland, OR
Posts: 8,164
• Horses: 1
I do. A lot. But then again, Toni isn't really an intructor so much as she is my second mother. She has been a friend of the family since LONG before I was even born, and I grew up at her barn riding and learning I used to take everything just because she said it, but when I started doing my own research I dared to challenge her....Granted she hasn't been wrong since I've known her, but I still ask anyway and hope for the day I can be right and she can be wrong. Still waiting. And waiting. And waiting some more.

It's perfectly fine to argue if you really feel its necessary. You are paying them. They can deal with you because they are there at your expense. If they don't understand that you need explanations, then they should give you your money back and refer you to someone else.

Pssh.I didn't pick up the wrong lead
It's called a counter canter...
...A very advanced maneuver.
SorrelHorse is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #12 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 05:46 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,526
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyBoyPuck View Post
She seemed more than a bit put off by my insight to the point of suggesting we cannot work together.
That is the only bit of advice I would take from that "lesson".

Nothing wrong with ASKING the coach to explain themselves as we all learn in different ways. If that coach can't FULLY explain not only what they want but how to achieve it, expected results, expected consequences if not done correct and the reason why it is being asked for at this stage of training then they have no business teaching in any manner whatsoever.
Spyder is offline  
post #13 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 07:15 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: On the banks of the Red Cedar...
Posts: 494
• Horses: 0
I argued with my old trainer all the time. She would tell me to do things I physically could NOT do, and wouldn't listen when I tried to explain why I wouldn't drop my stirrups. Or else she'd put me on a horse I had no idea how to ride, and give me instructions that made no sense and didn't work at all. -_-

My new/current trainer? Well...if you call breaking down into tears and begging to not ride a certain horse arguing...then yes. I've argued with her once (and I won). Otherwise, never.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
John Lennon

juniormylove is offline  
post #14 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 07:23 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: NW WA
Posts: 610
• Horses: 2
In reading responses, I think that people are using argue and question interchangably...To me argue means to disagree disrespectfully, but to question means to ask why, or for clarification...I do that all the time. I do trust my instructor to not push me beyond my ability, but she does push me. I ask a lot and give her looks sometimes when she asks me to do something new that I'm slightly scared of. She's never let me down though.

I would not argue with her though. Not only do I think it's silly to argue with my instructor about something she's made her life--she knows her stuff, but it would be no different than my high school students arguing about what they think I should be teaching them. That's not their area of expertise, nor is it my area to argue with her about riding.


Joni
Fowl Play is offline  
post #15 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 07:29 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Between two places in Canada!
Posts: 1,005
• Horses: 0
I do not argue with my regular trainer. After once a week for 7 years, she has not once given me a piece of advice that I did not see as acceptable. She's willing to work at my pace and is comfortable with me and my horse.

However, I took a cross country clinic with an outside trainer. My horse came off of one jump strange and I informed the clinician that I was retiring from the clinic and would proceed through the rest of the jumps simply to watch (my horse wasn't lame.. he just didn't feel 'right'.) He made me feel like a complete incompetent idiot and told me to carry on and, more or less, don't be such a baby. He bullied me into it and I was too chicken to say no. My horse HAD twisted funny and was in TOTAL PAIN, which I found out after that. He was just too good of a boy to speak up about it.
From now on, if a trainer gave me a piece of advice or tried to push me into something, the answer is flat out NO. I've paid in advance, my refusal to do any of the things presented is not costing that trainer a penny.

kmacdougall is offline  
post #16 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 07:38 PM Thread Starter
Trained
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 8,157
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fowl Play View Post
In reading responses, I think that people are using argue and question interchangably...To me argue means to disagree disrespectfully, but to question means to ask why, or for clarification...I do that all the time. I do trust my instructor to not push me beyond my ability, but she does push me. I ask a lot and give her looks sometimes when she asks me to do something new that I'm slightly scared of. She's never let me down though.
When I started this post, I attempted to equate argue with question. I in know way suggested being disrespectful. I guess debate would have been a more positive word to use.

You just have to see your distance...you don't have to like it.
MyBoyPuck is offline  
post #17 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 08:38 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,975
• Horses: 0
I don't like the way this "trainer" handled it.

Immature of the person to get huffy, to be resentful of your sincere reservations about "obeying orders", and to be so resistive to giving you an explanation for the orders! How are you going to learn if you don't know the why/when/how/where?

I had a similar experience with a big "international" rider; I instinctively knew the directive was wrong, and since the incident, I've read/heard a million times that it was, indeed, wrong. I'd not bet on this trainer, and I think if you take more "lessons", it'll end up badly anyway, but with the added insult of $ wasted.
Northern is offline  
post #18 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 08:59 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 5,695
• Horses: 3
when I took lessons with my old trainer [we had a falling out that had nothing to do with the horses..its a long story, but I miss him a lot] I would never argue with him. I would ask questions or ask why he wanted me to do something, but I trusted him, & I always knew he was trying to do right for the horse.

Im not the kind of person who says no to a trainer, but I have and I will if I think they are not doing the right thing for the horse or for me.

Gypsy & Scout <3
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. ~Albert Einstein
gypsygirl is offline  
post #19 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 09:12 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,227
• Horses: 0
Sure, but not much with my current trainer, we agree on pretty much everything. But I'll often ask for the reasoning or philosophy behind what she's instructing. I ask how to accomplish the task, what the result should be, and what happens when I do it wrong or don't do it.

I have often told her that my horse was too hot to jump a certain jump or to canter again, once he gets wound up. She always respected that, but after she rode him she understood completely what kind of horse he is and how you have to ride him.

So basically, I can, do, and will "argue" with my trainer, but it's less like argue and more like discuss. And if the trainer can't give me an explanation I stop riding with them.

I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it
Gillian is offline  
post #20 of 56 Old 05-16-2010, 09:23 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Montrose, CO
Posts: 449
• Horses: 3
Well, once again I can consider myself extremely lucky. My trainer and I see eye to I on everything. In my eyes she's the best there is and she grants me the room to make my own judgment call if I want to try was she offers or not. I have total freedom, but only for the reason is because she is teaching me to be a better trainer and to think and feel independently. If I feel something going on I don't hesitate to ask why it's happening. If she tells me to do something, I trust her 100%. I do it, and almost always it's instantly better. However, you're never right all the time and she will be the first to admit that. Riding and training is an exploration.
We are in it together all the way, which is why I never went back to school. I have found my place for now and I couldn't be happier.
I read post after post on here and I continue to count my lucky stars, I am truly blessed to have a totally bad-ass trainer and mentor to teach me everything she knows. Lol
There are people here at our barn that don't see eye to eye on a lot fo things we do and although I have accepted that they are on a different path, it is still frustrating at times.
In my honest opinion, if the methods you chose to explore and believe in and you are working with someone who does not then no matter how good the barn is it's more worth it to find a place that really floats your boat. Not just 1/2 way.

In riding, a horse's energy is like a river- guided by the banks but not stopped by them.
koomy56 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Gift For Instructor vivache Horse Tack and Equipment 17 03-30-2010 09:04 PM
Time for a New Instructor.. vivache Horse Riding 4 03-28-2010 12:56 PM
Do you think and instructor would let me? Would You Kindly Horse Talk 7 03-09-2010 09:36 PM
I'm going to be an instructor!!!! BurningAmber520 Horse Talk 5 07-03-2009 09:29 PM
Is anyone on here an instructor? heartscontent English Riding 9 01-23-2009 08:11 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome