Feeling confident but not looking confident?

       The Horse Forum > Riding Horses > English Riding

Feeling confident but not looking confident?

This is a discussion on Feeling confident but not looking confident? within the English Riding forums, part of the Riding Horses category

Like Tree5Likes

LinkBack Thread Tools
    12-10-2011, 03:06 PM
Green Broke
Feeling confident but not looking confident?

Hello, guys.

I have been riding for right around ten years now, although I've never had lessons.

Today I was at the barn riding. Afterward when I was grooming Sunny and about to turn her out, the BO's husband said, "We're going to take you on a trail ride at -place that has intense trails-." I asked why, and he said it would make me a more confident rider.

So now I'm feeling pretty low about myself. I feel like I'm confident rider, but I guess I don't look like I am.

The only part of my riding that I feel not confident about is my lower leg. It feels unstable a lot, and it sometimes make me brace and stiffen up.

Mentally, though, I feel confident.

I just don't know. I know the BO's husband meant absolutely no harm and had no mean intentions, but for some reason this just has me feeling a little low. I guess I'm too sensitive.

I don't really know what I'm asking here. Has anyone else been told they didn't look confident, but felt it?

Any idea what could be making me look not confident? Could it be how I stiffen up or how my lower leg is unstable?

I don't know. I know this probably doesn't make any sense. I guess I just needed to vent my confusion. Thanks for reading.
Posted via Mobile Device
Sponsored Links
    12-10-2011, 05:15 PM
Honestly, I would say confidence and experience go hand in hand.

Probably was not said to make you feel the way you did, and I think you're over thinking it ;D

I know a LOT of people who have issue with riding out, and maybe they assumed that as you're such a confident rider you had a weakness somewhere ;D

I am a competent rider, I ride, I enjoy, but I ALWAYS look like I'm about to burst in to tears, and if I try and smile, I lose concentration ;D

Your best bet, as this seems to have really upset you, is to speak to the BO and say how you feel, he will explain his reasons and you can work on them from there.

Good luck, and don't lose heart. Chin up!
    12-10-2011, 05:29 PM
Green Broke
Thank you!

I am feeling better. I do have a tendency to really over-think things.

I will speak to him and see what he has to say.

Again, thanks for reading my sob story.
Posted via Mobile Device
    12-10-2011, 05:36 PM
Thats okay
We all need a bit of reassurance some times, and although we aren't there and then, sometimes an outsider view can help.

Keep that confidence up, and even if he has some negative points, don't be disheartened, use them as something constructive to help work on your skills
    12-11-2011, 10:51 PM
Sunny, did you ask what exactly he meant by that? Trail riding does make more confident horse and more confident rider. And I think that's what he meant: that it helps to build more confidence in general, not that you don't look confident.
    12-12-2011, 01:06 AM
Green Broke
No, he and the BO had been watching me ride, and before he mentioned the ride he said, "Did you hear us talking about you?" and then he went on about the trail ride, etc.

But it's fine. I don't feel bad anymore, because I agree. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm sure what they were seeing was my awful lower leg. It's unstable and causes me to brace, as I've been slamming it outwards, away from the horse, instead of lightly on the horse's sides.

I think it bothered me mainly because it was the first time they had ever seen me ride, and I know I haven't always looked so....bad. I had been focusing more on Sunny than my riding. So it just felt like, "Wow, now they think I'm a bad rider." And to add to it I'm also the "new girl" at the barn, so I'm already self-conscious.

But it's all fine now.

It just reminded me that I can't let my riding go to crap because I'm riding a greenie.
Posted via Mobile Device
    12-13-2011, 01:07 PM
Doesn't hurt to take a few lessons too :) You can always improve!
    12-13-2011, 01:32 PM
Green Broke
Oh, how I want to take lessons. It's just not in the budget at the moment.
Posted via Mobile Device
    12-13-2011, 01:38 PM
Green Broke
Personally, I think ALL riders benefit from occasionally going on some intense trails, even high level riders. I also think it's good for the horses too because it gives them a break for the ordinary, as well as having them work their brain a bit more. It also helps to build the bond and relationship between you and your horse to go through something where you truly have to work as a team.

I don't think anyone can be overconfident in their riding, and anything to gain more experience with our horse, more knowledge about them is a plus. I think I would jump at the opportunity, even if you don't think you need it "for confidence" but just because I am sure you will learn a few things you didn't know be it about yourself, about your horse, or about some other aspect of riding.
    12-13-2011, 01:45 PM
Green Broke
Originally Posted by Sunny    
I think it bothered me mainly because it was the first time they had ever seen me ride, and I know I haven't always looked so....bad. I had been focusing more on Sunny than my riding. So it just felt like, "Wow, now they think I'm a bad rider." And to add to it I'm also the "new girl" at the barn, so I'm already self-conscious.
Posted via Mobile Device
I think you may be over thinking, and at least your BO is trying to do something to help you succeed, even if it seemed like a criticism. At least they are willing to help :)

My last trainer (one that has caused me to have trust issues with trainers) had a talk with me a 3 days before my first show with Cinny (and my first show in 15 years). She said "I don't want you telling people I'm your trainer because frankly, your riding is a COMPLETE EMBARRASSMENT! I have also decided not to train you anymore, and don't count on my help at the show." Now THIS lady, was highly critical and unwilling to help me develop myself, and she was a trainer! Those are the people and comments you have to watch for.

By the way, she competed on a green horse in intro with me and ended up disqualified! I also was against her in "suitability" and "equitation." Guess who came out on top???

When people say things that kind of hit you funny, try to ask yourself one question. "Is this person trying to help me, or hurt me with this comment?" It sounds like your BO was trying to be productive and helpful, unlike my prev trainer who obviously was trying to be hurtful. When you ask yourself that question, it can help you decide what to do... and how to feel. You can't really stay mad at someone who clearly has the best intentions and clearly wants to help you be better :)

Quick Reply
Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
a willing confident partner mramsay Horse Training 11 10-01-2011 04:22 PM
Staying confident GypsyNymph Horse Riding 1 11-05-2009 03:13 AM
Confident horse free_sprtd Horse Training 10 04-28-2009 09:21 PM
I need to get more confident! xXx shannon xXx Horse Training 4 01-05-2008 07:39 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:14 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0