Hello all I'm Britt, new to the forum! I've been in love with horses since the age of five and they're all I've ever really known well. I've never taken a liking to much else the way I did with Horses and Riding. I'm 18 now but a couple of years back I brought this beautiful chestnut mare and we soon found that her quiet and sweet personality would dissapear completley. She turned into a mennace, she was fine with men loved them but would a women come close to her she would loose it. There was no getting close, I was literally heartbroken and terrified from the amount of times I'd fallen. We eventually sold her to a lovely young man and haven't heard anything since. It's been a year and a bit and I miss riding so much and just the complete calm horses bring me. But i'm still worried and nervous, any helpful suggestions to get over this stupid fear I miss that part of my life.
I'd suggest looking into some lessons, a good trainer can give you fun games to make riding a pleasure again.
Then, next time you look for a horse, look for an older horse that has been around the block a time or two.
The best confidence giver I ever had was Mango, who was 17 when I got him. I had fallen off my mare and was completely terrified of horses. Mango gave everything back to me plus soo much more confidence, there wasn't a thing I was scared of trying. He passed away at 21 due to a freak accident, but he easily could have made it to 30.
Get back in the saddle with the proper horse. The first time I jumped out of an airplane I was scared to death. After many subsequent jumps, it got easier and easier. Then it became one of the most fun things I have ever done!
Get yourself to a lesson barn and have some nice, enjoyable *quiet* riding time to ease yourself back into it. Don't worry about buying a horse for a while, ride as many different horses as you can, it will give you a breadth of experience and the chance to deal with different personalities and you will begin developing a repertoire of skills to deal with a variety of situations.
True confidence is developed by being comfortable with the fact that you can handle a variety of events, based on past experiences where you have successfully navigated similar difficulties. Blind confidence is leaping on and assuming that 'everything will be OK.' It just takes time!
So, first develop the skills and you will find that your confidence grows as your learning progresses. It takes time but it's a lot of fun. Sitck with it and good luck!!
When you start lessons again, I'd also recommend telling your new trainer that you had your confidence shaken and are looking to build it up again. You're probably not too shy about it, since you posted it on here, but communicating to your trainer exactly how you feel will definitely help you get back on the right track. Good luck, looking forward to hearing how it goes!!
I suggest booking a lesson at a riding school (possibly one where you know the horses and instructors) and ride of their horses. The majority of horses in riding schools are sane and if you tell them about your confidence issues they aren't going to put you on something they don't think you will be able to cope with. They also won't make you do anything you don't feel comfortable doing and they are always there to reassure you that everything will be okay. You might find that within the first 10 minutes you are fine! Good luck
The trouble with horses and riding is that, once you're hooked, there is nothing you can do about it!
I am sorry you had a bad/frightening experience with this mare, but like others have said, it would be a great idea to find a barn where you could take some lessons and ride something really quiet and well-schooled that knows it's job so that you can concentrate on yourself, your position, aids etc...