remember how i said a successful show when your confidence is low is just getting through it?? You did it. You got through it. Half way through reading your paragraph i wasn't sure you were going to complete your courses, and that might be for the best... but you sucked it up, regrouped, got out there and got over every jump.
If I was an instructor and you fell in the schooling ring and were so nervous you burst in to tears - I would look you dead in the eye and say "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to." That's not to say one should quit - but you don't need the extra scariness of a show to pile onto all your other concerns. I'm happy you decided you DID need to do it, and got yourself together and overcame it.... But don't ever feel pressured to do something if you truly do not feel ready.
Now that you've made it though, definitely work on building your confidence. You shouldn't be falling this much, and a good part of it is probably because of your head space. Work poles pretending they are jumps, work flat, do small cross rails, one or two at a time. break it down and build yourself up. don't worry about others pace, this is supposed to be FUN. :)
Also, maybe invest in a protective vest. It might make you feel a little less scared (and reduce your chance of injury.)
wishing you the best of luck! remember: this is for fun! breath and find your happy place and progress from there.
Re: any of my advice - Happy to give my two cents, but not an expert... just a girl who loves riding horses!