My showing lately has been boring, I have been told for over a month that I will be moving from the 1.0m to the 1.10 and up to 1.20 by the end of the year. Well the end of the year is in a few weeks and I havn't moved up. And each show my parents and myself are expecting me to move up then it doesnít happen. Itís making me lack confidence because I keep thinking: ďWhats wrong with me? Maybe I just suck at riding and no one will tell me. I must be horrible or I would do it already. My wins and ribbons are just luck I donít deserve them. Iím the worse person in the class I shouldnít even be thereĒ exc. Yes, Iím a bit harsh on myself. And I know I do well but now Iím not motivated to show at the level Iím at, its not challenging, my horse is bored and used to much higher jumps and I have been told over and over again I will move up but then when I approach my coach about my entryís its like Iím falling on deaf ears.
So this show on Saturday I was entered in the 1.10. ENTERED So I am on the order of go! I have been so excited all week, back at the gym, just so happy and working very hard with my horse. I had a lesson yesterday at 1.10- 1.15 and it was amazing. So I had to sign some paper work and wow guess what. Iím getting dropped out of the 1.10 class. The reasoning behind it is not what I want, its not a lack of ability at all its just my coach wants me to go to championships at the 1.0m level and I just donít.
I felt horrible, I hate when people tell you theyíre going to do something then donít, I felt like a promise had been broken. I was so disappointed and mad, I actually cried home ( yep Iím a big baby lol) It makes the shows a waste of time and money, Iím not doing what I want to do and I donít care about points so Iím done showing for this year. Iíll go this weekend because I said I would drive someone but after that Iím done for the year. Iíve accomplished ALL of my goals except to move up and thatís not going to happen thatís been made pretty clear. So I will not lose out on anything if I stop now. Thereís only 3 shows I would miss anyway. My parents are on board with me stopping for the year, my mom was very very mad and sad that Iím not going to compete in something that I was so excited for. Sheís not too impressed to say the least. She knew championships was never my goal, I could really care less about going.
So.. Good News?? -- EVERYTHING happens for a reason
SOOOOO!!!! Iím going to a George Morris Clinic!!!!!!!!! LIKE WOW Its been on my bucket list ( only 22 ) but I never thought it would actually happen! And the great thing is everyone who goes this year gets a spot on the clinic next year!! I am SO HAPPY! So my choice of stopping showing this year that money will go to the clinic!! I would much rather spend my money on a George Morris clinic ANYDAY that go to some show I that I donít want to be at anyway! So I may actually have to thank my coach, because if she hadnít of scratched me from the 1.10 class I would have continued to show and I wouldnít have the extra money for the clinic!!
I hope me saying I donít want to show sounds bratty, I know all shows are experience but they are suppose to be fun, and right now Iím not having fun