I hate stirups

I can't get them the ridht length I eather can't keep my feet in or my knees and upper leg tense up and I can't post becase it hurts what do I do?!

Pictures?

Try shortening your stirrups a couple of holes. This will allow you to get the feel of sinking your weight down the back of your calves and relaxing the thigh. Some lessons in 2-point would be of great benefit. Gradually drop your stirrups, and incorporate some work being lunged on a quiet horse, with no stirrups at all. Eventually you will be able to drop your stirrups to a more suitable length and won't feel the need to grip. It is all about developing the elusive 'independent seat'.

It's not the stirrups' fault that you can't keep your feet in them or that you tense up.

1. Get your legs in shape.
2. You need to learn to relax and stop gripping with your legs.
3. Learn how to sit on the saddle correctly so that your weight is on your seatbones.

Once you do those three things, life will be a lot easier.

In order to get 1-3 done as quickly as possible, pay a good instructor to help you.

Or you can get a really nice friend who knows about this stuff, because then you could keep your money...or get someone to video tape you and look over what your doing wrong and figure it out yourself.

That might work

That almost never works when someone is very new to something. Once you have a base of knowledge to work from, then yes I agree.

Lol yeah I was just throughin out ideas :P

Your stirrup length should only be a little shorter than your leg.
Take your feet out of your stirrups, the stirrup should hang a little bit above your ankle, That is for a classical seat of dressage and flat work, you would put them up a couple of holes for jumping.

Or get a Walking horse and forget all that trotting bouncing up and down nonsense.

Every time we pass or get passed by a posting trotter, my horse looks at me and asks, (In a hank hill voice) "What the he## Bobby?"
I answer in a Lenny voice, "I dunno George"
General Beauregard shrugs his shoulders and walks on,

Yes that is the ideal length, however when someone is finding that they are gripping with the upper leg and losing the stirrups as a result, shortening the stirrups a few holes and riding in two point or a forward seat, will help to stabilise the lower leg, and the stirrup can then be let out gradually.