Instructor Fall Out - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 16 Old 12-05-2009, 08:40 PM Thread Starter
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Instructor Fall Out

This is an issue that I believe to be really hurting my riding. Over the summer, my riding instructor got along with me great. I was doing really well, and she praised me all the time... I felt on top of the world. I had a month break and got back in the saddle, and things were the same at first, really nice. But now she is criticizing and yelling at me for every little thing.
I mess up constantly and she always notices it and points it out, which cause me to make more mistakes.
Her yelling at me makes me tense up and I have to try and correct all those things Im doing wrong, and sometimes its right before a jump; or I don't hold my balance and fall on his back when we land after a small jump.

Im sorry, even just writing this is upsetting me, and I don't know what to do to fix things.

may they all have good fortune, good food, and an abundance of love.
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post #2 of 16 Old 12-05-2009, 10:02 PM
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I believe your situation is repairable. Have you taken these concerns to your instructor and told Her/Him?
If you have not, it's a good time to take them aside privately, and explain your concerns, and what you believe this is doing to your abilities and confidence.
If you have done so, then you certainly can go shopping for a different instructor, as there are many. You may even find a better instructor, you never know how these things may work out.
However, I always try first to talk it out with the person I am having the trouble with. It has been mostly successful.
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post #3 of 16 Old 12-05-2009, 10:16 PM
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Yes , I think talking it over and explaining your feelings to your instructor is the right way to go.

I can understand how this can make you upset, I had an instructor who I took lessons from on my own horse. I feel she had a wealth of knowledge but we really clashed. I was soaring with confidence one day and then was in tears the next....My confidence was ruined as a result and it has taken me a long time to get it back and am still working on this. I even allowed her to do some training on my horse for me and that fell through too.
I would love to find an instructor in my area who could work with me through this but haven't found one that focuses on this problem.

I hope things get better for you , I feel that it will after you guys talk it out.

Horses and children, I often think, have a lot of the good sense there is in the world.
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post #4 of 16 Old 12-06-2009, 10:41 AM
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I'd talk to her. It is possible that she thinks you are at the point where you will benefit more from someone pointing out all the small things you are doing wrong rather than praising you for the things you are doing right, so she is being really tough in an attempt to make you better. It is a perfectly legitimate training approach, but if it is making you regress, is isn't working. Maybe tell her you're feeling really tense because you're feeling like you aren't getting anything right. Explain that you need to hear what you're doing right as well as what you need to fix and maybe that will lead to more of the positive reinforcement you need.

Last edited by PoohLP; 12-06-2009 at 10:44 AM.
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post #5 of 16 Old 12-06-2009, 10:46 AM
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I would def talk to her !!

I am just starting to make up with my old trainer/great friend/ "parent" bascially that I havent really talked to for 2yrs

Gypsy & Scout <3
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. ~Albert Einstein
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post #6 of 16 Old 12-07-2009, 03:30 PM
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I think if you have a problem with someone(including your instructor), you need to talk to her in person. She may not realize she is doing it, or there might be some underlying stresses that are causing her to act that way. Maybe because you are going under more stress than usual, you are feeling like she might focusing on you and your mistakes. Might be a entire barn/lessons and students she is doing this to.

Whatever the cause, you really need to talk to her yourself and see where all this is coming from.

Keep us posted on the outcome ok :)
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post #7 of 16 Old 12-07-2009, 03:48 PM
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She shouldnt be yelling at anyone durring a lesson. I grew up with a really bad trainer who would yell, make fun of, and chastise the kids she taught. Its very unprofessional and inappropriate. I don't know the extent of your problem, but something could have happened in her life to make her bitter. It could be the weather ect.
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post #8 of 16 Old 12-07-2009, 03:52 PM
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I have had a similar problem before ... is it at a riding school ? I think maybe just speaak to her because if your paying you should be happy ... if she is treating you really badly then maybe you should have a look at some other places ?
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post #9 of 16 Old 12-07-2009, 04:23 PM
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In this case I might start with talking it over with her since there seems to be a change on her part. That is if you feel comfortable talking to her about it.

I stayed with an abusive trainer way too long when I was younger and leaving her place was one of the best things I did.
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post #10 of 16 Old 12-07-2009, 11:37 PM
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Everyone has a different learning style, and while some riders respond to negative criticism by trying harder, it only serves to upset you and cause problems.

I would try to take it up with her, and if things don't change, I would probably look for another instructor who meets your learning needs.

A good instructor can make all the difference in the world, and an instructor who is good for everyone else may not be the one for you - and vice versa.
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