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Instructor Took Me Off The Horse

7K views 37 replies 27 participants last post by  Celeste 
#1 ·
So, I recently started riding at this new barn and was put on this horse today that was really fresh. I couldn't get him to listen to me, he wouldn't stop when I told him to. I couldn't get the canter down right, I was bouncing around way too much so I trued to stop and start again but that wasn't working. The instructor took me to the end of the ring and told me to get off. He put one of his stable hands on and she continued to ride while I just stood there and watched. This made me feel as if I'm a really bad rider. I got about 20 minutes of riding in... I usually ride for more than an hour. I've never had this happen to me before, I've never been told to get off a horse and not get back on. I didn't even get told why I wasn't allowed to keep on riding and I'm afraid to ask. Usually I get the canter down right away, it's my favorite. I feel awful, as if I can't ride. I bet nobody else has had this happen to them before... This brings my confidence way down and I'm afraid to go back and ride again even if I am given a different horse.
 
#2 ·
Ask why you were taken off, but be polite about it, not whiney. Say something like "I know I was having trouble at my last lesson with _________, so I was wondering what I was doing wrong so that I can fix them and hopefully get a chance to ride __________ again."
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#3 ·
I see two issues:

1. The horse wasn't safe for you. Based on what you said about how things were going, if I had been your instructor I would have taken you off as well simply for your safety. In fact, I've done this before as an instructor, and as a rider it happened to me when I was younger. Most instructors will try not to overmount their riders, but sometimes it happens since horses are most definitely not robots.

2. Your lesson was cut short. This part is not right, unless she was actively teaching you something while you were watching someone else ride the horse. In this case, I don't see a huge problem with it, as long as it was understood when you began taking lessons at this barn that some of the learning would be out of the saddle. However, if they promised you x amount of time in the saddle per lesson, then you might say something to her.

Don't feel like a bad rider or be embarrassed. It's really not as uncommon as you think. Be grateful that your instructor decided your safety was more important than anything else, chalk it up to a learning experience, and keep riding. If you keep working hard, eventually you'll be able to ride that horse again with no problems.
 
#4 ·
The horse was obviously too much for you to handle, and if you couldn't get him to listen at a walk, it would have been a disaster at the canter.

You should have asked the instructor the reasons behind why she told you to get off. If you don't ask, you'll never know.

If all it takes is one little instance where you're not being praised to the high heavens about your riding to make you quit, then you're not serious about it to start with. The best instructors are the ones who won't coddle you or play to your ego.

If you actually want to learn to ride properly and not just canter because it's fun, then stop worrying about your feelings being hurt and get back in the game.
 
#5 ·
If you actually want to learn to ride properly and not just canter because it's fun, then stop worrying about your feelings being hurt and get back in the game.
It's not a matter of cantering or riding just for fun. Of course I ride for fun but, I also keep on riding and switching around to different horses because I want to be a better rider. It's not a matter of having my ego hurt or getting my feelings hurt, it's a matter of getting back in that saddle again and proving to myself that I can ride... Getting back in the game is what I'm struggling with. I just need to get over the feeling that it's going to happen again and just go out there and ride.
 
#6 ·
I think there's some middle ground between being taken off the hrose without an explanation and "being praised to the high heavens". My guess is that she wasn't praised to the high heavens on a daily basis, nor requiring it as a daily feed to keep her coming back. But, I can understand completely feeling belittled by this experience.

However, it really is a matter of asking why you were taken off. I bet in part it was due to the instructor not wanting the horse to be allowed to carry on with this bad behavior. Lesson hroses have to be kept sharp, and for that, a sharp rider needs to be on them. you probably just have to face the facts that you have a ways to go before you'd be that sharp rider.

in any case, yeah, you need to ask for the truth, accept it and move on.
 
#7 ·
I think taking you off the horse was the safest thing to do as you were totally out of your comfort zone and things were going to end badly
Putting someone else on the horse was the best thing for the horse as its behaviour needed immediate correction
I do think you should have been offered some refund as the instructor obviously over estimated your ability to deal with the horse, its a shame they couldnt have brought out a more sensible horse
Honestly - you need to put this behind you and move on - If I'd given up the first time I was made to feel a bit foolish I'd have a much bigger bank balance now and be enjoying winter in a warm exotic place
 
#8 ·
About three weeks ago my instructor told me to get off. We were riding in the indoor and my horse made a move to kick a passing horse. I got off the horse and my instructor got on. She rode him for about 10 minutes and schooled him. After my mount was responding better my instructor had me get back on. She then explained to me what she had done and how I should respond.

I was a bit embarrassed but then I realized I am there to learn and that I can't let pride get in the way. My instructor had handled it well and I learned something. Your instructor was right for taking you off. I just think she should have explained why so you wouldn't be feeling like this.
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#21 ·
This is totally how it would've been handled at my barn. This was probably a safety issue. You may be a really excellent rider but in the middle of the lesson you are wrapped up in a different mindset and you may not have the brainspace to think about the discipline the horse needed in that moment, but the horse DID need to be disciplined.

It sounds like it stopped being a lesson for you though. There should have been explanation about what the person that got on after you was doing so in the future you will have the facilities to correct your own horse.

My riding group loves when our trainer hops on--it's nice to have someone else fight a battle, for one, and it's so cool to watch someone you enjoy learning from in action.

Another thing that probably would've happened at our barn, especially so early on in the lesson time, was to have you saddle up on another school horse.
 
#9 · (Edited)
I agree with TheLauren.

While I can understand she taking you off the horse...I don't understand her not explaining and perhaps getting to ride a different horse. Maybe the horse was not level-headed enough for you...perhaps the horse was not too much for you; just having a bad day and it was unexpected. For this I can see having you get off and a more experienced rider get on.

My instructor has, very occasionally, gotten on my horse. Usually I'm having an on-going issue or I need her to feel what I'm feeling. Actually I love watching her ride my horse...I get to put my feet up and she does all the work XD

So I would totally take the opportunity of watching what someone more experienced does in your same circumstances. However...it's too bad she couldn't have explained to you everything more clearly.

Don't worry about feeling like you are bad rider. I don't know many people that I could say are bad riders...sure you might be less experienced but no worries. Just take it as a learning experience. Ask your instructor all about it next time. I'd imagine, if she is any good, she would be happy to talk about it. Also don't let it shake you. Who knows what could of happened if you had been forced to stay on?

Good luck next time! :)
 
#10 ·
I agree with the others about being taken off for safety and the like.

I actually enjoy watching others ride. Learning how to isn't all about being on one. Watching others and how they did things is a very very helpful way of learning. Whether or not the instructor is instructing, it doesn't matter. You can see the cues (or lack there of in some cases) and see how the horse responds.

When I have trouble, and my instructor shows me how to do it, I feel more empowered to do it right.

I had a previous instructor who would have their students sit on an upper level above the arena and watch other people riding. We were a group. It was also a respect thing. As I watched the mistakes and lack of some riders added to the instructors instructing, I quickly became good enough at what he was teaching to ride one of his wife's horses.

Take it as a learning experience.
 
#11 ·
I think that they should definately explain to you why you got removed and then also tried to make a lesson out of the stable handing riding the horse. What they were doing differently.

I have been taken off a horse once. Although it was for the opposite reason. I could not get the horse to go and she would not do what I asked. The instructor got on herself and then showed me what i needed to do. When I got back on and repeated what she did, the horse went brilliantly :)
 
#12 ·
If you paying for a lesson then they should have put you on another horse - dont have an issue with them taking you off - especially for a saftey reason... but to not put you on something else - i would have expected your money back..

My instructor jumps on my horse occasionally - but thats different its my horse and Im getting something out of her riding her, whereas for you you have gone for a lesson on their horse
 
#13 ·
I never had this happen to me but I do remember once at a barn I had my horse, there was an instructor that should have done this to a student. Instead she let the girl keep going and the girl got thrown into a wall. It isn't worth trying to do something you are not ready to do on a given horse. Rather learn on a horse that is willing and then tackle the next one. There is absolutely nothing embarrassing about taking a step back to move forward, that is the smart thing to do.
 
#14 ·
Chalk it up to a bad day for all involved. I'm glad they pulled you off so you stayed safe, and I have a hunch once you ask your instructor "why" you may be surprised that it wasn't because you're a bad rider. :)

If it makes you feel any better, a few months ago I hopped on my horse and for the love of god I don't know what happened, but my rear hit the saddle and it was like someone hit an eject button, and boom, my rear was on the ground. My filly stared down at me like "why the hell you down there?". The added bonus was the round of applause from my fellow boarders who saw it all! I explained to my onlookers that I meant to do that (haha), called it a day and we worked on the ground. My point is we've all been there, so get back on and know you're becoming better each time you do.

Good luck!
 
#15 ·
Yes, it does happen, and was probably for the best, since it sounds like you were overhorsed that day. I do think you should have been given another mount, but I also think you need to open your mouth and ask questions. Your instructor is not a mind reader. You need to be able to communicate with them in order to learn as much as possible.

I would also say that the instructors walk a fine line with school horses and the horse cannot be allowed to get away with bad behavior. So, while your lessons are to teach you, understand that the horse cannot be allowed to get away with bad behavior, period. If your instructor feels the horse needs correction you may not be capable of, or may react to the correction in a way you cannot deal with, they have a responsibility to put someone on that horse right then who can deal with it. Otherwise, they end up with a spoiled horse who behaves badly when it can get away with it. And some of them will do it at every opportunity.....thus more advanced horses needing more skill to keep them correct. You will get there, but there is nothing to gain by attempting things before you are ready.
 
#16 ·
wow that does stink, it seems like you need to have a better relationship with your trainer, one where you feel comfortable enough to talk to him openly.

dont worry, this has probably happened to most people who have taken lessons before ! good trainers are tough.

i was showing with my trainer back in october and he told me the way i ride my horse i make her go like a shetland pony ! i was shocked ! i dont see my trainer even once per month as he lives in a different state, and 5 weeks later when i saw him i told him i was practicing my dressage so much and i felt really bad about it ! he said that he hadnt even meant it LOL
 
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#17 ·
From a liability perspective, if you had been put in danger in any way or injured a fingernail even around this horse, your trainer could have been sued (by your health insurance company, despite your objections). It was a safety issue, regardless of your ability to handle the horse or not - the horse was dangerous, which in most states is a legal reason for a trainer's liability protection to be rendered null.

They should have explained this to you, perhaps. Perhaps also they were concerned about the horse, and not your immediate feelings about the situation.
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#18 ·
I recently had a similar situation. My instructor took me off because she said I was nervous and I was making the horse nervous. I did not feel nervous or scared and i thought the horse was a bit jumpier than usual because it was super windy and and the arena was creaking. I was a bit peeved, mostly due to pride, but i didnt say anything. She started longing (lunging?) the horse and said she might put me back on. About five minutes went by and she asked if I wanted to try again. I said heck yeah, I am going to RIDE that horse. And I did. The horse knew i was in a different mindset, my instructor knew i was in a different mindset, and i had my best five minutes of riding yet :).

What I realized is I was so focused on my form and trying to do everything right, I forgot about riding the horse so I really wasn't in control. (I know that sounds weird/counter-intuitive). I think she thought I was nervous/timid, and I was, but of her, not the horse. I've had 2-3 lessons since then and I mentally pick what to work on, because I realized she is not going to prioritize my many riding faults for me, she lets me know about all of them. Interestingly enough, my last two lessons have gone great, and the horse has really listened to me and I get less criticism from her. Because there is less to criticize? I wish! I think it is more that I am riding the horse better which is probably what she was looking for the entire time. Maybe it is a form+function thing and I just hadn't put the two together.

As for the time in the saddle, I am always sad to miss any, but even just watching is learning and horses are unpredictable. I appreciate her being concerned for my safety even if we don't agree on the root cause. I figure she is the much better judge.
 
#19 ·
I would talk to your instructor about this and have her explain to you her decision. It shouldn't be a big issue and just explain that you are puzzled and would like to better understand. I also like the suggestions of watching others ride if you can. All opportunity to learn is a good thing.
One thing I have learned is that sometimes it's a good idea to "take one's self" off a horse. Never feel embarrased about getting off if you feel that's the safest thing to do.
 
#20 ·
Like everyone else is saying, you gotta talk to your instructor. Some instructors are like closed books until you ask the right questions. It's silly when you think about it but I have experienced this a handful of times so I'm not surprised they left you wondering why you were removed from the horse.

Another thing is to not be scared of talking to your instructors. So many times students will have a lesson and not understand something and never say a word, but instead try to interpret what the instructor wants which leads to a huge mess. You gotta give them feedback, whether it's good or bad. That hour you have with them is YOUR chance to pick their brain and build a connection to help make you a better rider. Make the best of it! :)
 
#22 ·
Had this happen, my daughter had this happen. Best guess is every new rider has experienced this. I understand you want to get it right but bouncing on the horses back and continuing to cue only causes pain and frustration. You are balanced on a finely built suspension bridge under which sit the kidneys. Would you like to be pounded in the back? Another thing that is happening is you are also teaching the horse this cue means you don't have to canter. Your instructor put another person on to tune up the horse and get it responsive to the leg. Lessons are never about how far you go but more about fine tuning things and *always* allowing your mount to do it right before lesson's end.

If you are going to be an effective rider or competitive rider, you are going to have to swallow your pride and learn to shake it off. The idea is for you to watch the other rider and see how they apply the aids. Our brains learn by watching as well as doing. Watch as many CDs of top riders as you can and ask questions. Meanwhile, i would apologize to the instructor and ask what you can do to improve the canter depart.

Don't be frustrated and remember it's a dance, not a boxing match.
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#26 ·
No, he never carried a whip:). He was a broomstick through your elbow type of guy. And famous for taking off his gloves lightning fast to throw on the horse's hind if it wasn't moving........I found that out when trying to go in canter from halt, no stirrups, and ended up standing next to my horse...never saw it coming;-)
 
#29 ·
One of my pet peeves is riding academies that over-mount and under-train their lesson animals. I ran a tiny riding academy for 10 years and used my own horses. My lessons were no larger than 5 students at a time, and I prided myself that I didn't endanger ANY of them. These were also horses that were routinely ridden at CW Reenactments, under saddle with cannon fire and the riders shot off of their backs, as well. They were calm and responsive.
My advice is to get a refund for lost riding time and locate a better place to take lessons, one that respects you. You have every right to want to pay for a safe ride and improve your skills.
 
#33 · (Edited)
Your horses never came out of their stalls fresh?? We have some of the most bombproof packer school horses known to man that wouldn't bat an eye at some crazy things but sometimes (especially in the winter) they get a wild hair. Last wk a very sweet very kind little pony (who normally carts around the most beginner of jumpers) came down to the ring with "happy feet". I wasn't told she hadn't been ridden in a wk.. And this very scenario happened. I let her handle it for a bit, but my student (who's actually quite good) was having trouble and the horse was trying to be good but simply had too much energy and I could see an explosive situation coming up. I made her get off. Threw her on the line for a bit to get the bucks out and then put her back on. For the most part I try to have my students work out a lot of their own problems. But sometimes they simply aren't at that level yet or like this just wasn't safe so I hop on or have more advanced rider get on. However, I always put my student back on. Even if it means I run a little late and all they do is trot a few laps around. I want them to always feel like we ended on a good note. don't take it personally. Your instructor most likely acted out of safety and that's what you want in a good instructor. If you have any question you should always ask.
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#32 ·
I had a very strict riding instructor when I was a child riding at a German based riding school . He terrified me. Had me in tears once after a lesson but I vowed never to let that happen again. I learned a lot but I was also afraid to ask questions. I now have a more approachable instructor and have much more success as I am not afraid to ask questions. This may be more the case as I am an adult and have less of a fear of making mistakes as I now know we learn more when we do make those mistakes and how to correct them. Best of luck!
 
#36 ·
upnover, no, my horses lived in a turnout with a shelter. REGARDLESS, it all came down to management. I scheduled my best trained students for my first lessons, if it was Saturday, and I had 5 lessons to teach. They had a fresh horse, a "challenge," if you will, and I let them work for practice hours, so they would often stick around and help me prep for my other lessons. Providing riding lessons is a LOT of work. I found a niche in my community bc I noticed that stables would do lessons for a few years, then stop, then start again. I was consistant.
It's just like managing your horses by making it difficult for them to be hurt. For instance, everyone (now, horses in my backyard with stalls and a barn) stay inside when it's icy. All of my horses are used to me mucking out the stall while they are inside of it, bc of practice doing this. Honestly, I don't teach NOW bc I am concerned about a lawsuit should anyone get hurt, despite the fact that I could teach with my 14yo mare. Isn't anyone at these stables where the students are endangered by horses that cannot be stopped concerned about this?!?
DH, an attorney, is used to long winded clients and sometimes irate ones, mostly those that are assigned, "overflow" SA Criminal cases. It comes with running a business. Customers are customers and it comes with the territory. You LEARN how to give them what they believe they paid for, and keep them happy. Friendly, courteous and accomodating. Some call it "manners." Even if the customer ISN'T mannerly.
Lessons are not supposed to duplicate the backyard rider training on their own, where you get thrown then get back on. Yeah, you can learn to ride this way. Funny, the best horseman, those that are completing nationally/internationally, don't ask their children to learn that way. They train their children to ride the safest horses/ponies and compete in lead line classes first. Not a lot of children get thrown or hurt this way. I can't believe that it makes you a better horseman to have an injury in a lesson that keeps you out of the saddle for 3 months. =/
 
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