It's hard when you finally find out how unfair life is. - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 05:55 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Exclamation It's hard when you finally find out how unfair life is.

my mum and dad have split up.
we (me and my mum) can't afford to stay in our house.
I can't have (or lease) a horse because we don't have the money.
i've been told it's highly likley id have a horse if my parents were still together.

however i am very lucky and ride at two riding schools. one near my mum and one near my dad. about an hours journey apart.
both riding schools allow children such as my self (13) to help out.
but both require weekly commitment, as i spend every other weekend with my dad i can not help at either.

i can't see how i am every going to become more involved in horses than a weekly lesson.

the realisation of just how unfair life is has changed me, i feel the burdon of an adult, yet look around me at my few loyal friends and think 'thank who evers in control for not yet allowing my friends to realise just how unfair life is.' i hope there ignorage lasts, for i tell you when it does not, you struggle to see the point in anything, anymore.

thankyou for listening to me pour my heart out.
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post #2 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:03 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
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Hey, chin up! I know it must be difficult for you at the moment but it would be worse if you didn't have any lessons.

Why not try and find some stables somewhere that you can get involved in? try asking around, putting an ad in the local tack shop to say you're willing to help anyone who needs it, maybe even drop into a livery and ask if anyone wants any help, you could pay a bit to ride and help with costs or just work with the horses in exchange for riding.

That's what happened to me, i couldn afford lessons, so one day i went past a persons house with stables by it so i stopped and asked them if they knew anyone with horses, chances were that they needed help themselves with training the two horses up. Now im up there as much as i can and the horses know me as if i owned them.

So try and look forward, and i hope you're ok. PM me if you want anything :) xxx
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post #3 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:05 PM Thread Starter
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thanks , i will do that. iwas expecting everyone to just tell me to shut up and live with it. x
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post #4 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:09 PM
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well i dont think anyone on here would do that, and everyone needs to vent from time to time :) x
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post #5 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:13 PM Thread Starter
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yeah i guess so. it makes me feel bad, cos of course i sympathised when my friends parents broke up, but i couldn't imagine how it could affect anyone on quite such a scale. sometimes it just makes me wonder if ill ever be able to make something of my life.
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post #6 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:18 PM
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Hey, I want positive thinking here! I don't think anyone ever realises how much things will affect them until they actually happen.

If anything, you could make this your opportunity to show everyone that you can make something of your life despite all that's gone on. :)
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post #7 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:21 PM Thread Starter
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thank you you have given me a lot to think about.
and i mow am going to think positive from now on x
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post #8 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 06:56 PM
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I'm sorry you had to learn such a tough fact of life at such a young age. 13 is a hard enough year without having to deal with adult facts along with it. I don't know about your area, but around here, a responsible teenager is worth her weight in gold. Eager teenagers who are good with horses who like to clean stalls allow adults more riding time. I'd think you'd be able to work out a work to ride agreement with a barn in your area.

As for you cold hard lesson, I can only tell you, 10 years or so down the road, when you finally have a horse of your own, you will be able to appreciate the experience more than I can tell you in mere words.

Chin up, you'll get through it. By the way, you may have a future in writing. Your post was very eloquent.

You just have to see your don't have to like it.
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post #9 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 07:38 PM
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Things suck from time to time. This is life--so you appreciate the good times more.

But unlike every one else, I do not think the best advice for you is to say, 'Oh, I'm sorry.' You are too young to be digging yourself into this kind of hole. I know many, many adults who never come out of this sort of thinking.

Life is not unfair, for you.

How many kids--adults, even--are there that always wanted to ride a horse and cannot? How many teenagers have physical limitations, have lost a limb because of a car accident or something, or are blind? How many people can not do what YOU can?

You get a chance to ride at 13. I know I didn't get that chance.

There are people out there wondering if they are going to eat tonight and you think life is unfair because you don't get to ride MORE then once a week? Riding is a LUXURY sport--it is expensive, especially when you are not able to work and help your mom.

Do not go into the 'woe is me' mode. So many teenagers are doing it and are living unhappy lives. You have a lot and a great oppertunity in front of you--you get to ride. Take as much as you can and make it count--and when you are able to work and afford your own car, you can make it happen. I didn't get to start riding until 17, and I train and show now, and very successfully. You have nothing but time.

Chin up!

Dressage in Jeans - My blog with dressage tips for happy, relaxed horses, specifically for those who ride dressage in western saddles, no saddles, cowboy boots, or jeans. ;) Also now with cute pygmy goat pictures! :P
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post #10 of 25 Old 04-13-2010, 08:22 PM
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Are you assuming that because the schools policies are to require weekly commitments they won't be able or willing to work with you or have you outright explained the situation to the powers-that-be at either school and asked what accommodations might be available to fit your situation? I only ask because many times we find that life is a bit more adaptable to us if only we ask it to be. It never hurts to ask, the worst thing that can happen is you get told no, which is no different than what you already have.
Mayfield - the fact of the matter is that no matter what is going on in one's life you could always find someone who has it worse than you. I hardly think that starving children need to be brought into this. As awful as you think the "woe is me" might be, others find the "someone has it worse" game just as poor a tactic. I think the OP probably feels life is unfair for more than just the riding issues - having been through the separation of my parents at about that same age, I can completely understand feeling that life is a bit unfair for someone currently dealing with it.
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