So I could use some advice please.
I have been taking weekly riding lessons for 8 years now and I have been mostly riding the lazy school horses. The horse, Ben, I have been riding for the past 3 years was the "perfect school horse" he was calm and babysat the new riders and when more advanced riders rode him he could do what you asked (he jumped 3' with me) but was lazy as can be. If he heard anybody mention the words slow, easy, whoa or anything like that he would immediately slow down even if the slow down was for another rider.
Anyways I was just moved to another horse after Ben was retired and I am now on this forward and very sensitive pony she is 14.1hh Ben was 16.1hh. I have a couple issues that I am trying to work through and I could use some advice, after riding lazy Ben I find I ask much too strongly for forward movement and I have been trying to ask for movement much more softly (though this is a work in progress) and second of all I find I am tensing up and locking my arms when asking her for downwards transitions.
The first time I rode her I ended up locking my arms and tensing when I asked her to go from walk to halt she didn't and I locked my arms, without realizing it, and she took off cantering. This I find has made me more tense and stressed about asking for downward transitions. I also have social anxiety disorder so when my coach yells at me to slow down I tense up further. So after I do get a downwards transition I give her lots of praise and give her a long rein, but often times when I do this she goes more forward and sometimes breaks out into trot. When I take moments to stop or even to just walk so I can try to relieve my tension she goes back to going forward.
All this just makes for a stressful lesson and any advice is very much appreciated, also if you need more details just ask and I shall answer them to the best of my abilities Thanks for the advice.
Ps sorry for the longish post