Sorry people I don't know where else to vent so this is my little rant of frustration.
I ride english, and I've been riding for around 2 years now. I'm horse crazy, I love my barn, and I love the horses. Recently I started riding another horse. He's a great horse, but he can be hard to ride. Other people say I'm a good rider but I can tell my mistakes and I know I'm not. I don't need an instructor to tell me when I do something wrong because I notice every little mistake. It's just so hard to fix them. The horse I'm riding, like I said, he can be difficult, but it's not always his fault. I know it's usually my fault but everyone knows he's hard to ride and they don't see it and they just blame it on the horse. It makes me feel so bad. Usually I'm a decent rider, but lately I've been going through a really tough time with my riding. I go over jumps and notice my crap position. I swerve around corners because both me and the horse are aweful when it comes to cutting corners. And I'm constantly accidently clamping with my legs or pulling at the bit during jumps or doing other stuff to make him uncomfatorble. But he's such a forgiving horse and it makes me feel aweful because he shouldn't forgive me. It would be bad enough already to be a horse and have a metal bit shoved in your mouth, but if it's a bad rider...
I don't know what's wrong with me lately!!! I mean, there is absolutely no way I'd quit horseback riding, but lately I've been treating the horse awefully when I'm riding him. I don't mean to, but just little things like squeezing too hard or giving the wrong commands or pulling too hard are a pretty big deal. And don't say I'm being too hard on myself because I know it must be uncomfortable to have a bridle, saddle, and rider on you, but if the rider is making it worse it would be terrible.
And now I know that horses are truly the most amazing animals in the world to be able to put up with their riders, because if I were a horse I would've trampled them already!!!!!!!!
Anyways I'm not looking for advice, I'm just looking for a place to vent. But if you have any, I'd apreciate it.