Should I talk to her? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 12:28 PM Thread Starter
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Should I talk to her?

I'm getting a bit... worried I guess. I have a great, great, great friend, she's very sweet and kind, who used to lease an adorably evil Welsh Quarter Pony. They jumped a little bit, did trails, but mostly flat english and western. But that pony was sold out from under her(and she got to big. She's about six foot, and it was a 14 hand pony). Now, she's riding a bulldog Quarter Horse. The only way I can put it is that he has great conformation for a quarter horse, and is build like this horse: , maybe a bit thicker(I'm not putting up a picture of her or her horse)

He's very sweet and willing... but she's been jumping him. A lot. They ride in an arena that is the size of two 52 ft roundpens stuck next to eachother, and has pretty much no footing. They used to chuck in poop and wait for it to dry, but now it's never turned and never replaced. So not only is this horse not being cushined, but he just doesn't have it in him to jump. He is unbalanced going over, and collapses on his front end when he lands. She started jumping two foot, and he went lame for three weeks. The day he's good again, whoops here we go more jumps. He's starting to injure himself, and I'm getting very, very worried.

But my friend is completely blind to this! We've tried hinting to maybe take the jumping a tad bit slower, but she's all bubblegum and rainbows about how he loves to jump(pins his ears before, after, and over a jump), how it's great excersize(sent him stallbound for almost a month), and it's what he's build to do(Cannot pick himself over it... whatsoever).

I need to talk to her about something. If I don't, He could get permanently injured, or worse, she could get injured. He's almost flipped over several times jumping because he's so unbalanced.
Please, does anyone know a way I can talk to her?

(And if you want to see any vids or pics of the horse, they're on youtube. PM me for videos)
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post #2 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 12:46 PM
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Whose horse is it? If she's leasing, you might want to put a bug in the owner's ear.

If it's her own horse, then she obviously doesn't care that she's hurting the animal if she can't make the correlation between him jumping and then being laid up.

Sure, go ahead and talk toher, but don't be surprised if she tells you to MYOB.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 12:53 PM Thread Starter
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It's sort of a free lease. The owner is an older lady who cannot get out and ride him. He's usually a trail horse and western. She's extremely supportive of whatever the girl wants to do, which I think is great to find, but I'm just a bit sad that someone who has never had a jump lesson in her life is jumping every day on a horse that isn't built for it
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post #4 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 12:59 PM
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if someone isnt going to take your advice the best advice you can get them (in my experience) is from a trainer. try and get her to take a lesson or 2 and have a professional tell her this is not okay! good luck! poor horsey!

My mare= My life <3
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post #5 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 01:19 PM
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I would talk to the owner. Don't blame anyone just say" gee maybe you shouldwatch this person working with the horse and see if you thinks its a good fit. When you get something for nothing you don't tend to take care as well. If it was my horse I wouldn want to know.
I agree with the other post bring it to the attention of a trainer let it come from someoneelse's besides you
Poor baby not all horses are meant to jump.
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post #6 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 01:50 PM
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If she is a good friend she should listen when you tell her of your concern. Even if you talk to her gently, which seems wise, and she gets upset initially, she will figure out that you are trying to look out for both her and the horse.

If hints aren't working tell her what you think. Friendship works both ways and friends should be able to talk to each other.

If this causes a big rift in the relationship, then perhaps she is not that good of a friend.
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post #7 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 02:10 PM
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Just give it to her straight. If she gets offended, well, at least you tried.

I had a friend when I was younger who had a very slightly built 3 year old that she was jumping a lot. When I told her that 3 was too young to jump, she didn't talk to me for years. We eventually became friends again, and now she rides hunters with a good trainer and has suitable horses and is doing just great for herself. Sometimes, it's something they need to find out for themselves.

I hope you will not share your friends videos with people here, I know firsthand what it's like for someone to take your youtube video and spread it around on forums for other people to laugh and gawk at, and it does not feel good. IF this person is your friend, as you state, please be a friend and keep it to yourself.
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post #8 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 02:40 PM
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Maybe just try to tell her in a polite way that heavier QH's aren't built to jump and you worry about his future soundness. If she loves the horse hopefully she will understand.

I used to jump my old Paint horse on trail rides over small logs and such. I had such a blast doing it too. But he was in his 20's and he started getting bumps on his knees. That's when I realized it wasn't good for him. He was really halter-horse looking too. Very lovely horse but not built to jump!
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post #9 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 04:01 PM
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Well I have to tell you I am a lot less concerned about her sensitive "feelings" and a hell of a lot more concerned for her safety and that of the horse! Absolutely talk to her and do so firmly and clearly. Grrr. Sorry, selfish stupidity gets my goat every time. ...out

Do whatever you have to do to get through to her. That's how you're going to be a good friend and a good horsewoman. You would do the same thing if she was drunk as a skunk and grabbing for the car keys and this is just as dangerous. It sounds as if the horse is doing his best to please her but if his body and her skill level are not up to the task then it is only a short matter of time before something terrible happens. Be a real friend and cowgirl up!
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post #10 of 28 Old 03-11-2012, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by trailhorserider View Post
Maybe just try to tell her in a polite way that heavier QH's aren't built to jump
I suppose it depends how heavy they are. Ranch type QHs and Appendix QHs will take plenty of jumping IF the rider knows what he is doing and doesn't ride them unbalanced on their forehand.

Halter types, agree, not so much. I find them freakish, as a matter of fact.

Last edited by mildot; 03-11-2012 at 05:49 PM.
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