Who's Right? Feeling a Bit Frustrated... - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #11 of 31 Old 08-07-2012, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
Thanks! :) When I first started jumping Rusty, he was extremely heavy on the forehand, ducked out of every other jump, and was extremely out of shape. If things got higher than he felt comfortable with (basically 2 foot, lol), he wouldn't go over anything. Now he jumps over about anything and doesn't lean on me. He's a little stinker, and while I own a little Arab that's the perfect HUS horse, I'd rather go with Rusty just because I love him so much. :)) If he hated jumping and wasn't cut out for it, I'd stop. But he gets really excited about jumping, so here were are. I just can't help but gush about my horse!

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
Vlogging about Midwest trail riding here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_u...tIjwnOxjKzOfjA
Corazon Lock is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #12 of 31 Old 08-07-2012, 06:56 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 417
• Horses: 2
I'm gobsmacked by how many classes you were signed up for at your first show, and that your first show was a multiday one! Holy Moly, no wonder you ran out of gas. .maybe just 1 division per day? Or limit the number of o/f classes?

Personally, I found that show nerves zapped a lot of energy. I'd get Jello legs also, and would get light-headed from forgetting to breathe. It only got better when I felt better prepared.
Weezilla is offline  
post #13 of 31 Old 08-07-2012, 07:38 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
Well, it was my first big show, I guess I should say. I've been to two one-day shows and then lots of 4H stuff. But yeah, three classes would have been better for me I think rather than six. I love to watch people ride, and I didn't really get to do that much. :/

And part of the problem was I didn't eat because it was hot and I was nervous. So I suppose that's where my stamina went. But I drank A TON of water! :)

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
Vlogging about Midwest trail riding here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_u...tIjwnOxjKzOfjA
Corazon Lock is offline  
post #14 of 31 Old 08-07-2012, 08:07 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,051
• Horses: 0
I usually pick out sawdust from the tail hpours before hand and then a last minute check. There isn't any reason not to be saddled early and standing in the stall. I would rather be ready early and not rush. Sounds like you were entered in way to many classes especially your 1st show. Now that you know what to expect take more control and get your horse ready on your time frame and limit your classes. No reason to burn you or your horse out.

If the wash rack is slippery I wouldn't take my horse in if he was upset or it will just be worse. Wash him at home before the show. Stick to your guns and do what you feel is right as your horse must come 1st.

I am sure she was frustrated tryiong to keep tabs ion everyone and if the show wasn't going well she might have been embarrassed
churumbeque is offline  
post #15 of 31 Old 08-10-2012, 02:35 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 8,157
• Horses: 0
For starters, I showed in that same heat this weekend and that is no fun no matter how much you try to enjoy it. I did my XC with jello for legs and probably looked like a sack of potatoes by the time my stadium round came up.
I don't know who was more tired, the horses or the riders.

That being said, I would not have appreciated your trainers handling of the situation. Especially if showing is new to you, at least part of her job was to support you, not make you more nervous than you already were. Maybe she had an off day, but I agree you need to discuss your concerns with her.

As for the wash stall incident, I'm with you on that one. You know your horse better than anyone. If you think he was genuinely scared by slipping, then trust your gut and don't let anyone make you doubt yourself.

Sorry you had a not too fun day. Try another show once it cools off and you'll probably have a blast.

You just have to see your distance...you don't have to like it.
MyBoyPuck is offline  
post #16 of 31 Old 08-10-2012, 03:07 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,156
• Horses: 0
First I'd like to say that I'm sorry you had such a lousy time.

I don't think it was right for the lady to act like your horse's fears were stupid. I can kind of see where she's coming from, but it isn't really her business anyways.

Some people, including trainers, can get really wacky (for lack of a better word) at shows. Maybe it was the heat, maybe not.

As for getting ready, my instructor had me get ready before I was even thinking that I should. It turns out, she was right and I had enough time to get ready and ride Skippy a bit before I had to show.

I know that for my first show I really had no clue what to do.

If you were running out of breath halfway through your courses, maybe you should do some more courses at home and then show on the flat for a while? Just until you get more fit.

I'm also surprised at how many classes you did, perhaps it would've been better to do fewer since this was your first multi-day show.

And as for you doubting yourself as a rider, I think that happens to all of us at some point. I think you just need to have confidence in yourself.

Showing isn't for everyone. However, I personally find showing really fun, and I don't think you should give it up just yet. If showing is something you'd like to do more in the future, and this is usually how your instructor acts at shows, maybe you'd be better off finding an instructor who can be a joy to be with at shows.

ETA: Also, bathing should take place the day before you go showing, and you shouldn't bathe too often, as it strips the natural oils off of the coat.
Cinder is offline  
post #17 of 31 Old 08-10-2012, 03:22 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Range, WI
Posts: 1,947
• Horses: 8
I've been in both positions: as a rider/competitor and as a trainer.

As a first time competitor I remember being nervous and having fun (it was a long time ago!). I'd just bought my horse two weeks earlier and didn't have anyone to help me. We were disorganized and things were chaotic but we had a BLAST.

The next year, I had a mentor to help me and thankfully she is endlessly patient. We were much more organized and still had tons of fun!

Eventually, I worked my way up to co-organizing the show (with my mentor) and playing at the role of trainer for other young people. I remember one particular show where everything seemed to go wrong. The show was running behind, the arena was inconveniently located (across the busy, noisy fairgrounds from the stables) and to top it all off, it kept storming intermittently. So, we'd have to walk the (sometimes terrified) horses across the grounds back to the shelter of the stables, and then back again once it cleared up enough to continue the show.

All of this was physically and mentally exhausting and, when it came time to break for lunch, all of my pupils deserted me and I was left with three horses and three piles of expensive tack to watch over. By the end of the day, I was so exhausted I ended up scratching my own riding classes because I don't think I would've had enough energy to even climb aboard the horse.

After that experience, I became a bit of a drill sergeant, insisting that my students be present AT ALL TIMES with their horses, nagging them when they were absent for a few moments, hounding them to get ready exactly on time (not so early that the horses got sour from standing in their tack, but not so late that we were late for classes), and, in short, taking all the fun out of it.

I learned that I may be pretty good at coaching students at home, but probably wasn't the best "show" trainer. So, I stopped doing it. It wasn't fun for me, and it certainly wasn't fun for my students. If I showed myself, I would only have the most experienced/competent students show with me. If I had a beginner showing, I didn't show and concentrated all my energies working with just one or perhaps two students. If a student had previously shown themselves to be untrustworthy, I wouldn't help them at a show again, although they were given a second chance if they were sincere about changing their attitude.

Of course, I could afford to pick and choose because this wasn't my "real job." I basically just volunteered for fun. I can't imagine the pressure on a professional trainer... where a lot of times you win or you lose your job. (Some "show moms" can be very demanding on the subject of winning... it's easy to forget that there are a lot of people in it just so their kids can have fun).

Sounds like your trainer needs to evaluate how to bring the fun back into this for HER, so she doesn't ruin everyone else's experience.

Last edited by nikelodeon79; 08-10-2012 at 03:26 PM.
nikelodeon79 is offline  
post #18 of 31 Old 08-10-2012, 10:24 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
So, I just had a riding lesson since the show, which maybe wasn't such a good idea because everything was so FRESH.

I took my little Arab, Knight, up to lessons just to give Rusty some time off after such an exhausting show. Knight is 18, pretty out of shape, and doesn't have much jumping experience. I just want him to gain enough experience doing different things so that my niece can be comfortable on him. I thought, what the heck, I'll give this a whirl.

The lesson was not fun for me. I don't know if I'm still in the pattern of the show where I'm taking criticism too personally and don't just get over it or what. That's always been a bit of an issue with me, by the way, but I feel I've gotten better at it - until maybe now. I almost cried at the show because I felt my body could not comply with what my instructor wanted and she kept pushing. I felt the same way in my lesson, except maybe that my horse couldn't comply.

To start off, I walked him over all the ground poles as a warm up, without the instructor. The flowers by the jumps were a little scary, as well as some other things around the arena. Didn't really faze me, even though I'm used to my steady-eddy Rusty. Then my instructor came in, and she had us trot. Knight went well for a while, but then my instructor wanted me to get him moving forward from my legs and wanted him on the bit. She kept getting after me to use more leg, and I was really trying, but Knight wasn't complying. Maybe I totally need more leg, but I was literally squeezing with about as much effort as I could muster - my legs felt like jello again, and the temperature outside wasn't hot at all! Anyway, I wasn't really sure that we should be trying to get Knight on the bit and everything perfect at one lesson where he's not been ridden in quite a while and isn't in shape at all.

When we cantered, Knight didn't want to move out, I assume because he was tired - usually he moves out nicely. He did try to buck me on a few corners, which is normal (he doesn't really buck so much as hop...). I feel most comfortable in a full seat with him, the three point is harder for me...my instructor told me to use three point because that's "how he was taught to go". I really don't think so. He was HUS at local shows beforehand, and most local HUS around here is in a full seat.

Knight is definitely not a jumping horse...he can jump, but not well. I just want him to jump small jumps on a course safely for my niece. My instructor kept getting after me to speed Knight up over a fence that he kept looking at weirdly because it had flowers under it, so he trotted it. I thought getting over it would be enough. And then she was frustrated because she wanted me to three point but then I didn't sit back enough. Ugh. Okay. I think I was more upset there because I can never seem to ride right. I have been taking lessons for a year and been serious about it. You'd think there'd be more progress in me, not just in my horse.

Anyway, she was telling me how Knight is a prize and how we just have to get him undead to my leg. Oh, I almost forgot - she wanted him to do shoulder-ins and shoulder-outs, which I'm pretty sure he's never done before. And then she got frustrated because I couldn't get him to do them right away after he started doing them. Plus, I'm not used to riding him and he's a little greener in this field than my Rusty is. He was confused, and she was getting upset because I couldn't get him to get it right away.

I don't know how I'm feeling. I pulled out of the Aug 25th show just because I don't think I can take another show this soon. I know, as a person, I thrive off encouragement and compliments, and while I know that criticism is normal, too much pressure of it gets to me. Again, something I'm trying to work on. But what do you think about my instructor? Am I just being totally off the wall? I'm pretty much stuck there though because she's the only English instructor around here. Although if I knew more about showing and riding and was more confident in what I was doing, and was just a better rider, I might be tempted to go without a trainer to shows. I felt the whole weekend like it would be way less pressure. And I sometimes feel like I solve our problems better by ourselves.

Thanks everyone for your two cents. Now can you add a few more? I'm just really down on my riding right now. :/ Maybe I'll post a critique later in the critique section to see if you guys can help me find out why I'm doing like everything wrong.

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
Vlogging about Midwest trail riding here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_u...tIjwnOxjKzOfjA
Corazon Lock is offline  
post #19 of 31 Old 08-11-2012, 12:38 AM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,156
• Horses: 0
If you felt like your body couldn't comply with your instructor's wishes, then I think she is pushing you too far, too fast.

You shouldn't feel like you're about to cry like this. I understand having a tough instructor but there's no need to torture yourself, whether or not you think you are "too sensitive".

I think she is expecting things out of you and your horse/s that you just aren't ready to do yet. From the sounds of it, it sounds like you need a lot of practice on the flat and over smallish courses- just stuff to build up your fitness level and confidence.

I don't think you're totally off the wall. Some people might tell you to suck it up, that you have to deal with things like this if you want to do well in the sport. I think that you should, for the most part, have fun and enjoy what you're doing, and not feel like you're doing something you're totally unprepared for or feel like you physically can't do.

If there's not been a lot of progress from you and you've been taking lessons for a year, I think there's something wrong with the picture.

I think that you should try going to a show by yourself or with riding buddies who are supportive. I think that you might have a lot more fun that way.

I also think you should maybe see if there is ANY other English instructors near you. There might be some you haven't noticed before.
Cinder is offline  
post #20 of 31 Old 08-11-2012, 11:35 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
Cinder, I appreciate the advice. :) I checked once again, and there's no other English instructors. I live in a place dominated by western riding, and even then riding stables are scarce. The only good news is that I'm probably relocating in a year for college (I'm at comm. college right now), so maybe I can find something there.

Here's how I feel I've progressed in the last year:
-I'm more stable in my position. At first, my legs would swing and stuff like that, but now I don't really have that problem unless I get extremely tired.

-I'm more confident in my jumping. I went from jumping 2 foot courses up to a 3 foot course.

Things that have not gotten better:
-My two point. It still is bad. I have a tendency to roach my shoulders, overdo my two-point, give too much or not enough release, can't sit up fast enough after the jump, and lose my leg. It hasn't improved at all I feel like.

-My cantering seat - Still don't get how to move my elbows but not my arms and my body to follow the horse's motion, and I still don't know how much seat to set in the saddle.

-My leads - I still can't tell my leads very well. Gotten a bit better, but not much.

-Sitting back in a turn - Just can't seem to wrap my mind around doing it.

This is how my horse has improved:

-Head up - He would literally put all his head weight into my hands and lean at the canter. We put him in a pelham and he no longer does this.

-Jumps - Went from ducking out at 2 foot jumps to happily jumping 3 foot courses and all sorts of weird things.

-Agility - Can take sharper turns

What hasn't improved:

-Our leads. He still does not pick up his right lead very accurately.

Sigh...this past week, I really haven't had any desire to train at all, just to maybe hop on Rusty and take a jaunt down the road. Maybe I should put up videos of now and a year ago to see what you guys think about my progress?

I just don't really know what to do here or how I should feel.

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
Vlogging about Midwest trail riding here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_u...tIjwnOxjKzOfjA
Corazon Lock is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
SO Frustrated. sarahkgamble Horse Talk 8 06-18-2012 08:52 AM
frustrated snickerslove Horse Training 7 08-04-2011 05:12 PM
soo frustrated!!! Lonestar22 Horse Talk 5 08-24-2009 11:26 PM
A little frustrated! lb_cake Horse Training 4 05-03-2009 01:43 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome