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The horse will wear:
-Dressage saddle, pad, girth, bridle
-Jumping saddle, pad (or two for SJ and XC), girth, breastplate, martingale, bridle, jumping boots, XC boots
-Schooling pad, surcingle, lunge line, whip
You will wear:
-boots, spurs, breeches, belt, shirt, coat, gloves, stock tie, pin, helmet, whip for dressage
-boots, spurs, breeches, belt, shirt, vest, gloves, medical armband, watch with batteries, helmet, bat/crop for XC (and some combination of the two for SJ for the most part)
-Schooling breeches and gear. Remember that you want to look reasonably professional--neat shirt, half chaps and paddocks, etc.
You will need a braiding kit (apron, bands, pulling comb, QuikBraid, yarn or needle/thread, seam ripper) and a stud kit (shoeing nails, magnetic dish, safety tap, wrench, studs, stud cleaner).
Tack cleaning kit and boot polish will keep you shiney, and your grooming supplies are important. Don't forget the fly spray, etc. I like to have a little grooming bucket available for my helper (or for me when I groom) and LOTS of rags. I carry quarter mark stencils, too. You will also want your wash bucket with shampoos, liniments, sponge, and scraper.
I typically have a hardware kit--hammer, WD40, pliers, assorted nails and eye hooks and such. It also contains my rasp and nippers in case I need to pull a shoe. I carry a bucket heater, a hose with nozzle, and an extension cord in there as well. Tape (electrical, masking, and duct tape), snaps, baling twine, and such should never be absent. Extra towels are good, too.
For stabling you will want water and feed buckets or pans or whatever you use and snaps etc. to hang them. A pitchfork, broom, and muck cart are also important, as is a stall guard (and of course more baling twine). A saddle rack and a bridle hook of some kind are also important. I bring a spare halter and lead as well as extra buckets.
My trunk always contains miscellaneous items such as measuring tape, sharpies, pens and paper, scissors, and the like. My horse and human first aid kits are also always handy in the trunk.
You will want standing wraps and possibly poulticing supplies or ice boots if you plan on doing those things. Depending on the weather rain sheets, fly sheets, and blankets are in order, and a cooler is super important unless it is really hot.
If you walk XC with a wheel, bring it. There is also an app you can use to find your minute markers. I also bring a trailer jack and lug wrench. A binder with all relevant information including health papers, feeding instructions, and emergency contacts is always important (be sure to include your own information)!
Feed! This means enough hay (and extra) for your horse--remember he may need more at a show, especially if he is not going out and grazing. Feed should be portioned out in advance. Many people use ziplock bags, but pony club says brown paper bags. Always bring at least one or two extra feedings in case you get stranded somewhere. Hay net or bag--remember to set some hay aside for the trip home! I have my hay in a bale bag most times.
For myself I bring a tent, sleeping bag and mat, bag with clothes including extra socks, raincoat, warm clothes, toiletries, more socks, and at least two pairs of shoes and one pair of muck boots or waterproof waders (for the water jump). Wet feet are a drag. I bring a book, a folding chair, a folding table, a cooler with food, potable water, phone and charger, and a tarp. I bring a camp stove and dishes, too. Hot food makes all the difference sometimes!
I think that is MOST of it, though I know I am missing things. I work off a packing routine rather than lists. However, this should get you started! I will add to it. I have never forgotten anything other than an item I couldn't find before leaving (it needed to be replaced anyway, so I just bought a new one) and watch batteries. I have never been the person arriving at a show without something.