SO much guilt right now. Word Graphic Warning. LONG - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 10:50 AM
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Like you said, if you hadn't done it yourself it would have had to wait in pain for hours or days waiting to die or for something else to come by and kill it.

If that was the only other option, drowning seems like a relatively fast option if you ask me.

I can't even imagine how hard that was, but you definitely did the right thing.
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post #32 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 12:50 PM
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Endiku I'm so sorry you had to "deal" with their injured animal, super huge hugs to you!

I've had to put down several animals here on the farm and regardless of how I do it I always feel sick afterwards. Just remember it's better to feel remorse than nothing at all.

For hopefully NEVER a next time get you a sharp shovel and quickly decapitate the suffering animal. One quick stomp, and I mean a hard one with boots on, and in one second their life and suffering is over.
I learned this the hard way when I had to put down a chicken with a broken leg. I tried to wring her neck, she lived, I stomped her head, she lived, I tried to pull her head off, she lived, finally I grabbed a shovel bawling my eyes out and that did the trick... I felt awful but the poor bird taught me a invaluable lesson, POOR GIRL! She suffered so that others wouldn't...

This was the last thing you needed right now, you are a saint, HUGE HUGS!

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post #33 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 01:29 PM
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Endiku, HUGE hugs to you. Taking a life should never be easy, even if it's for the right reasons...and you did the right thing. While you feel tremendous guilt about your choice to drown it, that was really the only option available to you at the time and, if the cat did suffer (which I'm not sure, I've heard conflicting stories about what it feels like to drown; some say it's about like going to sleep), it was a very short-lived suffering compared to the death that awaited him if he'd just been left alone.

As tough as it was, it was completely the right thing to do and you showed tremendous courage in doing it.

I'm very proud of you, young lady.
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post #34 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 01:48 PM
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You did the right thing.

Drowning was better than suffering for hours. I am sorry you were bitten in the process, but you got it done. There are guidelines on euthanasia that can be found at that go over many different ways to euthanize animals based on size and type of animal. That said, sometimes it it better to do what you can do rather than do nothing at all.

I remember when I had to euthanize my pet mouse- I couldn't get in to have it done by someone else, so I decided to break her neck. I was so scared I wouldn't do it right/fast/strong enough that I about decapitated her. I DID decapitate a baby bunny whose neck I meant to break after she was found with her eyes eaten out by fire ants. It is traumatic, but when you do the right thing, it is still right, even if it is hard.

I have a constant fear of the trailer floor breaking and whatever horses are in there falling through and having their feet ground off on the highway and them needing to be euthanized in the middle of nowhere. I have decided that in that case, and without a gun, I will have to slit their necks rather than have them suffer for hours until someone with a gun or euthanasia solution arrives. I hope that I never have to, but sometimes 'less than ideal' is still better than nothing. I hope your thumb heals well and quickly.

ETA: I nearly drowned once when I was a child. It was surreal, and a little scary, but not painful and not nearly as scary as I would have thought. I was more confused than anything while it was happening- like I couldn't really understand why breathing wasn't working like it should.

Last edited by Sharpie; 07-21-2013 at 01:50 PM.
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post #35 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 02:12 PM
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OMG! What a horrible thing to have to deal with! I am so sorry. I cried as I read your post. What a horrible man that was! I agree, you need to get out of there!

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post #36 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 02:37 PM Thread Starter
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I'm not sure that I believe that drowning wasn't painful for the kitten, because I know it swallowed water and from my own experience it burns terribly, but I do hope that it wasn't as horrible as it looked.

I'm going to read the articles you guys gave me, for my peace of mind in knowing other solutions if nothing else. I guess that part of being involved with animals is the 'ugly' part where sometimes you ARE faced with terrible situations and few options. And I should be prepared for that, to be fair to the animal that is suffering.

Thank you all very much for your kind words. I still feel guilty about it and I probably always will, but I think I would have felt worse if I had done nothing. And are absolutely right. I would much rather feel terrible for what I did, even if it was the correct thing to do, than to feel numb or careless about it as everyone else so obviously did.

I just can't imagine not valuing life, even of an animal. How could you be so cruel or detached that you don't care about the fact that you are sending an animal into pure torture?

On another aspect of all of this, I'm so saddened right now. I used to love where I lived. After really involving myself though, I've come to realize just what a terrible, terrible place this is. Especially for animals. The person who injured poor, beautiful Kenzie, whoever abandoned that little stallion with a broken leg, and now people I've known and trusted to give me advice...being the ones bringing the suffering to animals? I just don't understand it. Before Kenzie I thought that were I worked was heaven on earth. I didn't see the behind the scenes of every day work on the farm. And now that I do...I'm horrified. Surely not every place is like this? I'm beginning to question whether or not I even want to find another place to volunteer in my area.
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post #37 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 04:17 PM
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Endiku, don't feel bad about how you actually did it. Unless you have a gun, killing an animal is going to be painful for a short time. Death isn't easy.

You did what you had to do, and it was better than the prolonged suffering.

If you can find another barn, don't worry too much about the lack of a trailer. Someone at your new barn will likely have one, and move the horses for you. If they want your business, they will find a way of getting you there.
I don't have a trailer either, and every time I have moved, the new barn moved me.
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post #38 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 05:29 PM
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You do make a difference-never forget that. Life is cruel, but there is a lot of good out there, too. After a bad event one can become cynical, depressed,& feel like throwing in the towel. You have brought a ray of sunshine to those kids you help, to many of us & to Kenzie & Sour & other animals, I'm sure. You are just starting out on the journey of life & have much to see & learn. Look for the joy, embrace happiness, & vow to make a difference & your life will purposeful. There is always a dark side to things that look good at superficial viewing, but don't let it get you down & fight against the wrongs-we all have a voice.
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post #39 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 05:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Endiku View Post
Surely not every place is like this?
Not every place is like that. I would have whipped the stupid jerk who dumped that kitten down for the dog to tear up myself and he would never be allowed back on my place. Those dogs (I got the impression they don't belong to the ranch), would have been shot the first time they went after one of my animals. I don't hold with cruelty and I would not hurt anyone else's animal if there was a way out, but when you cross the line and your animal hurts me, my animal or someone on my place......that it. I turn into a real bear. You just need to find another place to volunteer where the people aren't so jaded and heartless. They're out there.

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post #40 of 45 Old 07-21-2013, 06:22 PM
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endiku, I feel that way about the whole world. what a horrible place we live in! Some days I dont even want to get out of bed!


we can change it. even if its a small slice of the world, we can treat animals (and people) with the respect and dignity they deserve. I/We can teach our kids to be kind to each other, and giving. Each time we behave in the right way, there is the chance that someones mind is changed by what we do.

Make your space in this world one of improvement and respect, then have hope for change.

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