Farm life burnout
Although I am fairly new to this site, I've had some great feedback and enjoyed reading many thread. Everyone seems respectful and caring, such a great place to reach out for input.
I have been on my horse farm we built for over 7 years. Just months after moving in, my #1 horse I spent years rehabbing and retraining after rescuing was injured permanently. He is my heart horse, and we are still incredibly bonded. But, time is taking its toll and he is slowling showing signs of the wear and tear his body has endured.
We have since been thru a slew of horses, and I finally found a safe, sane trail horse last fall. He came down with what turned out to be acute and chronic lyme early this summer. We've had our share of bad luck, and this took the wind out of my sails in a big way.
We own 15 acres, and my hubby works almost 2 hours (one way!!!) from home. He was much closer when we first moved, but his job has taken him farther and farther away. Most of the work falls on my shoulders, and it is really starting to wear on me.
We aren't spring chickens, in our mid-50's and although I have worked with horses my whole life, embracing this lifestyle full time in our late 40's is taking a toll on both of us.
It seems in the heat of summer, I hit bottom. The heat, humidity, millions of bugs, and continual cutting, mucking, and property care is just burning me out. I'm never clean, constantly berated by bugs of all kinds, fixing broken farm machinery, and so on....ugh, it's overwhelming.
I am very blessed to have what I have. It is literally a dream come true. And I do appreciate all of it. I love my animals like my kids. But the days seem to have more and more of moments of "ugh" than joy. I hate this about myself.
It took years to find a horse that I could actually ride on a regular basis. I have old injuries which demand a level of safety and predictability, and between horses that were not well trained or that had health issues after coming to us, its been a long road to this new one I was able to ride a bunch last year and this winter. We've had most of this summer off because of his health, but, he is on his way back to being 100%.
However, the hope, excitement and dream of finally heading out with friends and trailering around has seemed to fizzle.
I'm tired all the time, aching from work, and am losing my interest.
Has anyone else experienced this? It seems I have farm life burn out. I am hoping its a phase and I will bounce back. My window of opportunity is slowly closing as I reach my 60's. It doesn't help that I'm in a very rural and isolated area, and everything is over 1/2 hour from me. I have "friends" but am alone most of the time working on our property taking care of things.
I'm hoping to get words of encouragement from others who may have been through this themselves and come out the other side. We are not in a position to sell where we still have our horses, and plan to ride it out (no pun intended!!) until we are ready to retire. I just seem to be fizzling quicker than expected, and it's really bothering me that I can't seem to get over this hump. Words of advice?