I haven't been keeping up because I keep getting booted off and I'm weary of logging in, almost every time<----------whine whine whine
Your story AND purchase could almost mirror what happened to my good friend and life long trail rider. Except it took her YEARS to get back on a horse.
We're all from the OH/PA border; when I moved to SoCal (took my horses with me), a few of the gals flew out to spend a week. My trail riding bud announced she wanted to ride in the rock hills because it was something she'd never get to do again. You could've heard a pin drop
She wanted to ride Duke, the horse in my avatar. Duke's a big motored full of go-go-go horse but, he doesn't shy at anything and if you know how to ride, he listens. She insisted on riding him bareback
Duke was perfect, we rode every morning, giving back to my friend the confidence she had lost years earlier. She wanted to buy him a plane ticket back to PA and teared up pretty good at leaving HIM, not me
When I say years earlier, I mean none of our kids were old enough to drive when her accident happened. Some of the gals had grandchildren by the time she came to visit and decided it was time to get back on a horse and that horse had to be Duke.
It took her several years and as many horses to find the horse she has now.
A KMSHA, bought in KY, like yours. He was 8 years old and had never been off the farm where he'd been born.
He was skittish and jumpy when my friend started riding him off the property.
They experienced the same exact things you are experiencing, with my friend even sending him to a trainer (for your very reasons).
She ended up selling him and regretted it, immediately. A few months later, the lady called to describe all the things my friend and you, had and are experiencing.
My friend bought him back, looked his beautiful Buckskin self in the eye and said "Gilley, we WILL work this out". That was the moment that changed everything - my friend making up her mind, she'd had enough of her self.
That was also around three years ago and they've been slogging thru knee-deep mud, riding along motorcyces on poker runs in the Allegheny National Forest of PA, ever since. Point-being, you hang in there with this horse.
It took my friend (who is not a fearful or timid person) years to conquer her very serious horse accident. Nothing changed her horse until SHE changed and the only thing that will part them now is, well -----the inevitable.
Except for the type of injuries, your recovery is so similar to my friend, I thought this might help but truthfully, the only thing that will help is the day you wake up and say "I have had IT and I'm going to enjoy riding again
One thing my friend did do that really helped was to get a custom-made saddle from Steele Saddles. Yeah, she spent nearly $3,000 but she said I have earned this in my old age; I want the saddle to be a perfect fit for both of us. The saddle is that but more importantly it's a perfect fit in her head which, in turn, helped to release the last of her riding fears