Am I out of touch? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 12 Old 09-11-2009, 09:05 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
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Question Am I out of touch?

This past weekend, my trail riding club had a 3 day ride. Everyone was very relaxed and in good spirits. Beautiful weather, great trails , good company ect...

A new member and his family were also on the ride. His daughter is about 10 years old. Well here we were riding and stopped to take a rest (pee break) and his daughter says in a very snotty tone "What the hell is your problem?!" She said it loud enough for all to hear. Dad did nothing.

We all looked at her in disbelief and yes, a little disgust. Totally uncalled for and IMO very inappropriate and disrespectful. I was very near and couldn't for the life of me figure why she said what she did as her father's horse was not real near her to cause any issue. Maybe he asked her something? Who knows.

Anyways, I guess I'm wondering if I am very old fashioned to think that was something she should have be disciplined over? Yes , maybe taken aside by Dad and sternly spoken to, or even treated to a bit of a tongue lashing in front of everyone since she made sure everyone heard her (plus she added a little snotty smirk). Yes, in watching her with her family, she behaves like she is a pampered princess and was rude to several adults back at camp. So, am I totally out of touch with how children should behave and speak to parents/adults?
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post #2 of 12 Old 09-11-2009, 10:39 PM
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holy smokes!

10 years old and she is talking like/ disrespecting adults is totally uncalled for!
If I were her parents, I would have taken her aside and set her straight.

I'm getting a lot of parenting don'ts now a days. Sometimes I cannot believe how children act in public and how their parents dont do a thing.
I know if I ever acted like that in public near my mom, i would have been punished in a heartbeat.
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post #3 of 12 Old 09-11-2009, 11:11 PM
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Perhaps she was talking to her horse? I don't know... If I said something like that to my dad, I'd get back handed...

My family is very big on the respect issues. I know I'm not a perfect angel. My mother and I get into fights alot... But I do make a HUGE effort. My mother understands she isn't a peach to be around, but we do make efforts. If I'm bad, horse gets taken away for a week. My dad hates doing it, but it's the only way I'll learn and he knows it. He knows I'll do anything for that ****ed horse, so he uses it to his advantages. My mother abuses it alot. Like getting me to stay up extra late to clean the kitchen when she knows I have to wake up at 5 every morning for school. Like last night, it was 9:00 and I had finally finished all my homework. I had to go to bed, so I went and told my dad I needed to go to bed because I have a quiz in the morning, but I'd finish the kitchen when I got home. My mom then inturrupted my dad and said "Well, if you want to see your horse at all this week you'll get your a-s in gear and get it done..." Yeah, I stayed up intill eleven cleaning the kitchen. I probably failed my quiz, too. But Cricket needs to be worked every day. So you make the sacrafice.

So, I really don't know. I'd probably get slapped if I spoke like that to my daddy.

"I was eight years old, and I've never forgotten her face when she told me about watching you ride. She told me she saw you, and your horse was dancing in the moonlight."
-- A.C. Crispin's "Sylvester"
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post #4 of 12 Old 09-11-2009, 11:18 PM
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Geez! I am totally surprised by what I hear coming out of little kids mouths though, even when I was a little kid my friends would say things like that and I'd be like O.o .

When/if I ever have kids you better believe that their mouths are going to be respectful. Haha

Fabio - 13 year old Arabian/Lipizzan gelding

Rest peacefully, Lacey.
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post #5 of 12 Old 09-12-2009, 02:52 AM
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think about this, if she was rude to strangers, what she
probably gets away with at home.

I would say a little bird should put a bug in dads ear that
manners are important with the riding group. and not being
rude to other members. Then let him pass this bit of info
along to his daughter.

If this keeps happening maybe also a refund of any membership
fee's (if there is any) and a pleasant so long and have
a happy day.

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
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post #6 of 12 Old 09-12-2009, 08:32 AM
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I don't know, parents and kids these days...its kind of weird. I mean i'm only 19 so I am not really old yet or anything, but I see twelve year olds dressed like total s**ts for lack of a better word. I'm all for women being able to wear whatever they want whenever they want without feeling threatened by the behaviour of men (both emotionally, verbally, physically - whatever). Its drives me mad when people say "what was she thinking walking around after dark in that skirt" or when guys think they have a right to comment on a woman because of what she is wearing ("asking for it"). I really feel like punching those people in the face. People in modern society should have the right to dress however they want without feeling threatened.

Saying that, how can these parents let their children go out like this? I mean do they know how old men, or even middle aged or young men look at a young girls body? I mean you say its sick, but I've seen so many barely teenaged girls covered in make up and dressing like they are so much older, but you hear them speak, you talk to them and find out what they care about and you realise they have no idea what so ever about the "sexual world" around them and how just, 'distasteful' it is to do what they do. They sell clothes that I, at the age of 19, would consider ****ty - but for five year old girls. Its quite disturbing for me and I cannot comprehend why people buy this. But they do.

I see kids swearing at strangers on the street, yelling abuse, just being over all disrespectful. Most teenagers that I see these days wouldn't even give up a seat on a bus for an elderly person, or hold open a door. There are things that should be common curtesey but parents do not seem to be teaching their kids that.

I am making gross generalisations but the kids that you see at the malls and out at night are going to be the not so great ones, as the better ones are hopefully at home studying (or riding horses :)).

I definately wasn't raised in a conservative household, but I think that some of the behaviours exhibited by youth in society are what we, in this social age , would consider grossly direspectful and innapropriate. People should feel free to swear and yell and whatever in their own homes, or in private but not on the street. People should treat all other people, strangers, friends, family, shopkeepers - whatever - with a decent level of respect which I don't feel a lot of people do these ways.

Saying that though, I am one of those people who isn't good at talking. I mean talk alright, and speak and stuff but generally whatever I say just doesn't come out, or isn't understood the way I meant to be. I think some people think I am rude when I just find communicating like a normal person really hard. So don't judge straightaway.

In this case yes, I think the kid is spoiled and should have been taught better. This isn't the kids fault, its just a product of its environment.

People should have to past a test to have children, and animals.
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post #7 of 12 Old 09-12-2009, 08:43 AM
Green Broke
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While you, and everyone in this thread so far - myself included, may feel that her bahaviour was inappropriate, it is her parent's place to actually decide and his lack of action on the matter seems to indicate that, to him, it was acceptable. How they choose to allow her to behave and speak is entirely up to them.
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post #8 of 12 Old 09-12-2009, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by themacpack View Post
How they choose to allow her to behave and speak is entirely up to them.

True up to a point. Being rude to others is crossing the line in MHO.(stated in the original post)
and the parent should have told her so. If they want to allow that type
of behavior to be directed toward themselves. (the parents) that is up
to them.

but also look into the future of this child and imagine what she will be
like as an adult and her behavior toward others if she is given no
boundries or rules as to what is acceptable or not toward others.

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
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post #9 of 12 Old 09-12-2009, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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From what I was observing, the parents , at least the father, seemed a bit afraid to upset the little princess. The wife definitely ruled that household, and there seemed to be a general feeling of superiority. So, yes, she is a product of her environment and up bringing.

Gotta agree RC, flash forward to the future.....scary!

Yes, I am a people watcher, guilty as charged.

Saskia, I know what you mean about feeling that what you are trying to say comes out not quite how you intended. What I usually do with people like that is always give the benefit of the doubt. If their demeanor and tone don't match what was actually said (kind tone, friendly/open demeanor), then I read "between" the lines.

There is another little girl in the group who falls in that category. She and I have become friends, because she feels "I get her". It's hard being young and finding your way, they don't need it to be any harder.

However, rudeness is rudeness. Not acceptable in children or adults imo. I usually give this type of person plenty of space and ask few if any questions of them, as you get a very snotty response. I call it the Burdock personality. Very prickly.

So , from a personal note, glad I'm not hopelessly old fashioned. I really enjoy children, and treat them with consideration and respect, but have no tolerance for indulged, rude brats. Kinda harsh , I know.
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post #10 of 12 Old 09-13-2009, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by appylover31803 View Post
holy smokes!

10 years old and she is talking like/ disrespecting adults is totally uncalled for!

I agree.
I'm 17, and have never spoke to my parents like that. I've never even sweared in front of them.
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