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Am I too "guy-ish"

2K views 19 replies 12 participants last post by  my2geldings 
#1 ·
:D Am I? I've never been a 'girly girl', always a tomboy... lately, my grandma and mum have both told me that I act too much like a guy...

So, am I? I like/wear/do things like this...
  • I wear baggy cargo pants that sit low on the hip... if they don't sit low, I wear them so they do sit low, regardless of how it looks
  • I like loose, large size shirts whereas I can wear a small easily
  • I like to wear baseball caps, though I can't stand to wear them with the bill facing forwards
  • I do not wear any jewelry except for earrings (never anything bit, always studs or something silver) and a very small necklace that I got for christmas one year (and it's not girly at all)
  • I find things like mud-riding, mud-wrestling, wrestling, racing, hiking, and fishing (etcetera) fun
  • I hate dressing up... my version of 'dressing up' is a pair of moderately clean jeans and a T-shirt that looks ok...
  • I don't wear make-up, in fact, I'm against all make-up except for mascara
  • I prefer shopping in the mens section and don't like spending over ten dollars or so on any item of clothes
  • I prefer mens shoes because they 'look cooler' than womens (actually, that's why I prefer shopping in the mens section, their clothes are cooler... they have better styles...)
  • I like to wear things like shirts with skulls and death-like symbols and saying on them...
  • I like to wear clothes with catchy saying on them...
  • I will wear a pair of pants or a shirt until it falls apart at the seams (literally)
  • I'm not adverse to wearing the same clothes two to three days in a row as long as they're moderately clean
  • If I know I'm going to get dirty, I'll find something in the dirty clothes to put on that way it doesn't matter how dirty I get
  • I don't like spending hours on my hair and usually just pull it back and let it go at that
  • I'll wear clothes that smell like diesel furl and have oil stains all over them to big stores around lots of people without a second thought about it
  • I do not wear nail polish or anything like that...
  • If I'm buying something heavy, I want to carry it to my car and not let the guy who's supposed to 'help me'... help me, lol...
  • I love work-boots like steel-toed boots and stuff like that...
Well, am I really too 'guy-like'? Honestly, I'm not sure... I can't help the way I am...

For the record, I'm 19, female (lol), and straight... (lol)... :)
 
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#2 ·
My 2 cents( being a mom of a teenage tomboyish girl)
I agree with you mom and grandma

My daughter is anything but a girly girl but she does wear clean jeans, tshirts etc. the only jewelry she wears is a choker necklace her b/f gave her. the only make up is eye liner and mascara. She wears cowboy boots 90% of the time and doesn't own a dress, dress shoes, or anything near that.

You are 19 no one can tell you how to dress but do take into consideration that appearances are everything. For example you apply for a job you want really bad, you are qualified for it etc. so you go to your interview while waiting there sits another young lady applying for the same job dressed casually, not really dressed up but clean clothes that fit, a little make up not a lot she looks nice...but she isn't as experienced like you are as a matter of fact she has none at all.....So you both interview do you want to guess which is going to get the job?? The young lady with no experience 9/10 times because employers look at how you dress and draw conclusions on the type of person you are.. It doesn't mean they are always right but that's how things are. As a supervisor responsible for hiring I was the same way.
The same goes for the girly girl types that wear clothes that you would see on a stripper or street walker, short skirts up to their butts, low cut tanks and t's that show everything they've got and then some..
My point is there are extremes at any level, you are a young lady don't bury your beauty in mens clothing..ok enough mom talk lol I do hope you see what I am trying to say as well as your mom and grandmother.
 
#5 ·
The same goes for the girly girl types that wear clothes that you would see on a stripper or street walker, short skirts up to their butts, low cut tanks and t's that show everything they've got and then some..
My point is there are extremes at any level, you are a young lady don't bury your beauty in mens clothing..ok enough mom talk lol I do hope you see what I am trying to say as well as your mom and grandmother.
AMEN!!! Especially the ones who flaunt a little more than ANYONE wants to see, if you get my drift.

Dresses are EVIL!
 
#3 ·
HAHAHA
I have the same problem hun! Although you seem to be more "guy-ish" than I am.
Yes, in the world's eyes you are guy-ish. But you sound a lot like me in terms of "I DONT GIVE A ****" (what they think).

I am a mechanic. I am not girly at all (except I have really long hair). I get along with guys a lot better than girls just for the simple fact that giggling and "OMG I broke a nail" gets on my friggin nerves. I HAVE to shop in the men's section for the simple fact that I am very tall and I have huge feet(size 12 women's) I only wear Wranglers, Tshirts, and some sort of boot (lace up or pull on) for the most part. I am not afraid to go pound a T post. If something needs fixing, I jump in head first. I think it is more of a country thing rather than being guy-ish or girly. I am happily married and my hubby loves when I am all greasy LOL So I suggest if you are comfortable, you do whatever suits you best. Bless you for not trying to fit in with the "normal people." Who decided what normal was anyway?
 
#4 ·
that is ok, some guys like girls like that. not every guy likes the girlie girls or barbie doll type.
 
#6 ·
My 2 cents( being a mom of a teenage tomboyish girl)
I agree with you mom and grandma

My daughter is anything but a girly girl but she does wear clean jeans, tshirts etc. the only jewelry she wears is a choker necklace her b/f gave her. the only make up is eye liner and mascara. She wears cowboy boots 90% of the time and doesn't own a dress, dress shoes, or anything near that.

You are 19 no one can tell you how to dress but do take into consideration that appearances are everything. For example you apply for a job you want really bad, you are qualified for it etc. so you go to your interview while waiting there sits another young lady applying for the same job dressed casually, not really dressed up but clean clothes that fit, a little make up not a lot she looks nice...but she isn't as experienced like you are as a matter of fact she has none at all.....So you both interview do you want to guess which is going to get the job?? The young lady with no experience 9/10 times because employers look at how you dress and draw conclusions on the type of person you are.. It doesn't mean they are always right but that's how things are. As a supervisor responsible for hiring I was the same way.
The same goes for the girly girl types that wear clothes that you would see on a stripper or street walker, short skirts up to their butts, low cut tanks and t's that show everything they've got and then some..
My point is there are extremes at any level, you are a young lady don't bury your beauty in mens clothing..ok enough mom talk lol I do hope you see what I am trying to say as well as your mom and grandmother.
Thanks for being straight up honest.
I do dress nicely for church (even though I don't believe in god or anything, I go to church with my grandmother) but if I can get away with it, I'll wear a pair of dress-pants and one of my very few nice shirts that actually fit well and nice shoes, but that's like the only thing I dress up for.

I would definately dress up to go for a job interview (it's a good thing my mum and I wear close to the same sizes... she is very classy). I see what you're saying... however, I've been raised as a tomboy... my great uncle who thought of me as his own daughter before he died (he was literally mu 'dad' all my life up until two years ago... he died two years ago) raised me as a tomboy. I've been raised with my cousins, all whom are guys and all are older than me. We were raised together as siblings almost, and we rough-housed and they treated me 'like one of the guys' more often than not. It's hard to get out of that... I'm not sure I KNOW HOW to act more like a girl...:shock: As odd as that sounds... I can't stand the tighter clothes... I'm not talking tight like some girls wear, anything tighter than a mens medium shirt bothers me greatly because it makes me feel constricted. I will wear tighter jeans, but even they have to be moderately loose and most of my friends would say I wear them too loose... Lol. I guess it's like... in my mind, I have to 'be tough' and 'act like one of the guys' because most of my cousins are guys and in order for me to be heard and listened to and not just blown off, I have to be able to keep up with them.

HAHAHA
I have the same problem hun! Although you seem to be more "guy-ish" than I am.
Yes, in the world's eyes you are guy-ish. But you sound a lot like me in terms of "I DONT GIVE A ****" (what they think).

I am a mechanic. I am not girly at all (except I have really long hair). I get along with guys a lot better than girls just for the simple fact that giggling and "OMG I broke a nail" gets on my friggin nerves. I HAVE to shop in the men's section for the simple fact that I am very tall and I have huge feet(size 12 women's) I only wear Wranglers, Tshirts, and some sort of boot (lace up or pull on) for the most part. I am not afraid to go pound a T post. If something needs fixing, I jump in head first. I think it is more of a country thing rather than being guy-ish or girly. I am happily married and my hubby loves when I am all greasy LOL So I suggest if you are comfortable, you do whatever suits you best. Bless you for not trying to fit in with the "normal people." Who decided what normal was anyway?
I'm glad yall're being honest with me... My friends out here would have probably been like "nah, you're fine..." Lol... I also get along with guys better than I do girls. Most girls I've met, besides my three closest friends, have been the girly-girls who freak out when they break a nail or something... I've always been like "if it broke, then it was too long to begin with". One of my best friends is a girly girl, but not to that extreme (thankfully). My other best friend is also a girly girl, if you only look at her looks... she dresses extremely well and always looks awesome, but she's all for having a good time and doesn't mind mud or anything like that. My other best friend isn't a girly-girl... she's more neutral than anything.

I also think it has to do with where you're raised... but not always... I've been raised in the country. When I was a baby, my uncle took me to the log-yards where he worked and taught me to control all the machines when I was five and all this other stuff... He raised me so I could keep up with 'the guys' (my male cousins). But I've already explained that, so i'll stop now.

Honestly, I have more guy friends than I do girl friends... I have probably... four girl friends and about thirty guy friends...
 
#8 ·
Thanks for being straight up honest.
I do dress nicely for church (even though I don't believe in god or anything, I go to church with my grandmother) but if I can get away with it, I'll wear a pair of dress-pants and one of my very few nice shirts that actually fit well and nice shoes, but that's like the only thing I dress up for.

I would definately dress up to go for a job interview (it's a good thing my mum and I wear close to the same sizes... she is very classy). I see what you're saying... however, I've been raised as a tomboy... my great uncle who thought of me as his own daughter before he died (he was literally mu 'dad' all my life up until two years ago... he died two years ago) raised me as a tomboy. I've been raised with my cousins, all whom are guys and all are older than me. We were raised together as siblings almost, and we rough-housed and they treated me 'like one of the guys' more often than not. It's hard to get out of that... I'm not sure I KNOW HOW to act more like a girl...:shock: As odd as that sounds... I can't stand the tighter clothes... I'm not talking tight like some girls wear, anything tighter than a mens medium shirt bothers me greatly because it makes me feel constricted. I will wear tighter jeans, but even they have to be moderately loose and most of my friends would say I wear them too loose... Lol. I guess it's like... in my mind, I have to 'be tough' and 'act like one of the guys' because most of my cousins are guys and in order for me to be heard and listened to and not just blown off, I have to be able to keep up with them.



I'm glad yall're being honest with me... My friends out here would have probably been like "nah, you're fine..." Lol... I also get along with guys better than I do girls. Most girls I've met, besides my three closest friends, have been the girly-girls who freak out when they break a nail or something... I've always been like "if it broke, then it was too long to begin with". One of my best friends is a girly girl, but not to that extreme (thankfully). My other best friend is also a girly girl, if you only look at her looks... she dresses extremely well and always looks awesome, but she's all for having a good time and doesn't mind mud or anything like that. My other best friend isn't a girly-girl... she's more neutral than anything.

I also think it has to do with where you're raised... but not always... I've been raised in the country. When I was a baby, my uncle took me to the log-yards where he worked and taught me to control all the machines when I was five and all this other stuff... He raised me so I could keep up with 'the guys' (my male cousins). But I've already explained that, so i'll stop now.

Honestly, I have more guy friends than I do girl friends... I have probably... four girl friends and about thirty guy friends...
You sound a lot like me although I didn't do the baggy clothes. I have always done more guy things as well...I prefer fishing over shopping any day of the week, I don't do nails whatsoever. I work on my own truck, haul my own feed, do my own yardwork, plumbing, fencing heck you name it. I have a ton of guy friends and very few female friends. I up until the last 2 yrs worked in a male dominated career. Basically I relate to them better seems you do to but I will be very honest with you(looks over at kentucky) while some guys may like it others will always look at you as "one of the guys" and never consider dating.. which stinks but thats how some guys are
 
#9 ·
Haha, you must be my long lost twin. Basically everything you said applies to me, plus a few others.
The way I see it? You're 19, so you can do what you want. Life isn't a fashion show, and true friends are the ones that don't care how you look or act.
Congratulations for not falling into the High School Popularity Contest trap! :D
 
#10 ·
You sound a lot like me although I didn't do the baggy clothes. I have always done more guy things as well...I prefer fishing over shopping any day of the week, I don't do nails whatsoever. I work on my own truck, haul my own feed, do my own yardwork, plumbing, fencing heck you name it. I have a ton of guy friends and very few female friends. I up until the last 2 yrs worked in a male dominated career. Basically I relate to them better seems you do to but I will be very honest with you(looks over at kentucky) while some guys may like it others will always look at you as "one of the guys" and never consider dating.. which stinks but thats how some guys are
I dunno why I like the baggier clothes... I know that during school, I always like to wear looser things so that I could move around easier... so maybe that's where it comes from...

I do relate to guys better... I'll definately admit to that... I just have never understood why so many girls freak out over simple things or 'just have' to have certain things from this place that they could get at wal-mart or a thrift store for like, 5 dollars or 50 cents... Lol.

I've always wanted to be independant. Even when I ws younger, I always said that I'd NEVER be dependant on anyone... roommate, friend, significant other (who I haven't yet found, lol)... etcetera... I want to be treated like someone who can do things for herself, and doesn't have to look to others to do things for her.

I know that some guys will always see me as 'one of the guys'... I've already witnessed that... this guy I really liked for like, four years has always just seen me as 'one of the guys' and started going out with my best friend a little over a year ago... now they're engaged... It upset me so much when I found out because my friend and this guy kept it a secret from me, but told a lot of other people... I still have trouble talking to both of them, even though I realize that this guy absolutely loves my friend and would never have even given me a chance. Now I feel like i'm not as close to any of my friend anymore... all of them are dating, going on with their lifes, settling down or talking about it and I'm just like... "Yeh...". I feel so out of the loop!

Haha, you must be my long lost twin. Basically everything you said applies to me, plus a few others.
The way I see it? You're 19, so you can do what you want. Life isn't a fashion show, and true friends are the ones that don't care how you look or act.
Congratulations for not falling into the High School Popularity Contest trap! :grin:
Lol... I used to look at the way all the girls dressed in high school and think "There's no way I'm going to dress like -that- just to impress a guy''... Lol.
 
#11 ·
Britt, I reread you op, and while their the nothing wrong with being a tomboy. But, it can be taken to am exteme.
 
#12 ·
In my opinion, if you like your guy-ish style it's all ok. You shouldn't change your style only because other people want you to wear according to some role or formula.

I hate if people say 'hey you're a girl/guy and that's why you have to wear that and that type of clothes'. (As to me, I'm more girly than tomboy girl except like I like and wear more guy-ish shoes).
 
#13 ·
Acting 'too male' is complete nonsense.

You behave, think and feel as you are comfortable behaving, thinking and feeling. We don't have to conform to someone else's idea of what we should be just because of the chromosomes we have.

I have female friends who dress in pink and wear clothes to make their curves look good, but whose thought processes have a lot of similarities to a guy's. I have male friends who are wonderful at comforting and hugging and shoe-shopping :)O) and who take good care of their hair. And these friends come across the spectrum of sexual orientations :P I myself swing between 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits; when I'm stressed, for example, I become extremely 'male-brain' in my behaviour.

Clothes and etiquette (i.e. who holds open the door) are irrelevant as long as you are courteous and respectful to others. I don't judge someone as boyish or girly depending on their clothes - if I do think someone is more masculine or feminine it's because of their behaviour and thoughts.
 
#14 ·
Dressing in cloths you don't like or don't feel comfortable in is not going to make you look prettier or whatever it is that your mom thinks it will, because true beauty comes not from what your wearing but from the confidence with which you wear it. If you want to branch out and try some more girly cloths then you need to find something you really like, and it doesn't have to be tightly fitted. Those peasant skirts look great on most body types and they are not constricting at all. But if your happy with yourself the way you are and the way you dress don't let anyone fool you into being insecure about it. It's okay to not fit perfectly into a gender stereotype. Youre an individual, and there is no reason for you to fit into some cookie cutter gender stereotype. Be happy. Be yourself, and after that what else do you really need?
 
#15 ·
Well said everyone!!! :)

Britt, you do what you do. Everyone else can go suck an egg! Thrift stores RAWK! I hate going shopping hahaha Wal-Mart near Christmas time SUCKS! I go in, get what I need and get out - everyone else is hogging the aisles, taking their Sunday stroll through the friggin store. Here I come bombing down the aisle with my Mack-Cart(or buggy for you Southerners).

I really do think it is how you are raised. Horse people also tend to be more laid back about it. However, I think that since you are still young, you should try to get out with some friends. Don't keep yourself isolated. You will realize in about 10 years that the clock keeps ticking. You never get those young years back!
 
#16 ·
:D

I'm not sure... I can't help the way I am...



The way you are equals "country girl"! You sound a lot like me. I grew up kinda tom-boyish, except I wore skirts while climbing the trees! To me, underwear was a fabic, and as long as your "certian areas" were being covered...who cared? (of course, as I got older that changed! lol) I'm comfy in a pair of jeans, boots, t-shirt with my hair pulled thru a baseball cap in a pony tail. Make up is for very special occasions. I will occasionally wear skirts, but that is for dress up, and they are the longer peseant style, and I always wear my boots with them.

I say be comfortable with who you are. If you are a bit "boy-ish" who cares? I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would rather thier lady help them mend a fence & feed up the animals so they can git to having a good time than spend every 30 minutes looking in a mirror making sure the hair is still "perfect" and the make up not smudged. I say leave the "girly girls" in the city. I'll be a country gal till I die!
 
#18 ·
I was just like you before I met my boyfriend.. He is the perfect cowboy.. into riding horses, rodeos, but also a great mechanic and drag races... the all around perfect guy... I used to chew and wear boyish clothes and talk dirty and what not.. and he thought I was beautiful and loved that I could "hang" with the guys... but just telling you straight up... knowing A LOT of cowboys and southern gentleman... they usually go for girls like you and I... the country type and can hang with thier buddies.. but they like a lady... I stopped chewing and am wearing more girly clothes and makeup... being a girl isnt bad and you can still be country...
 
#20 ·
Does it matter what you're style is? are you comfortable with who you are?

I grew up with 4 male siblings and got into a male dominated career. I translate better with males than females mainly because of what I was exposed to. With time, the people you meet, the new friends you make and the people that surround you will cause you to look at things in a different angle.

I was always on the tomboy-ish side growing up but as I matured, my style changed. Your style will constantly be changing in some way or another.

What other people say, or thing should not matter as long as you are comfortable and confident with yourself. Nothing else matters.
 
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