American man's hilarious take on Irish and English lifestyle - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 09:41 AM Thread Starter
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American man's hilarious take on Irish and English lifestyle

If you ask any English person about Americans, chances are they might have preconceived notions about their ways.

But it turns out our cousins across the pond have a fair few assumptions about us.

And one helpful US resident has shared his findings on a lengthy Facebook post that's gone viral.

Scott Waters is a painter, designer and tech geek who lives in St Augustine, Florida.

But a trip to Ireland and another sabbatical in southwest England, he's qualified to make the judgements.

He posted his massive list of observations on his Facebook page last month and it's already been liked more than 78,000 times .

Scott writes: "I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I learned:

Almost everyone is very polite

The food is generally outstanding

There are no guns

There are too many narrow stairs

Everything is just a little bit different

The pubs close too early

The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards

Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.

You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage

Refrigerators and washing machines are very small

Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter

People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbours or the government

Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't

Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare

Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?

Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers

The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling

"F*nny" is a naughty word, as is "sh*g"

All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.

There's no dress code

Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open

They eat with their forks upside down

The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars

They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just neater then we are

The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything

There are hardly any cops or police cars

5,000 years ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why

When you do see police they seem to be in male and female pairs and often smiling

Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here

Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them

Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"

HP sauce is better then catsup

Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.

After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food

The water controls in showers need detailed instructions

They can boil anything

Folks don't always lock their bikes

It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages

Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter

Nearly everyone is better educated then we are

If someone buys you a drink you must do the same

There are no guns

Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome.

Avoid British wine and French beer

It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American

Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks

There's no AC

Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper

Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 [£3.96] a gallon and is sold by the litre

If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always

You don't have to tip, really!

Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries

Only 14% of Americans have a passport, everyone in the UK does

You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in

Walking is the national pastime

Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours

They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet

Everyone enjoys a good joke

There are no guns

Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere

There are no window screens

You can get on a bus and end up in Paris

Everyone knows more about our history then we do

Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good

The newspapers can be awful

Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying

Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer

Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated

The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature

Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.

Excess cider consumption can be very painful.

The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, then it's "chairz")

The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, then-£1-£2-£5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.

Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money

Cars don't have bumper stickers

Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America

By law, there are no crappy, old cars

When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"

Cake is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding

BBC 4 is NPR

Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)

Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own

You're defined by your accent

No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is

Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport

Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse

The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable

Drinks don't come with ice

There are far fewer fat English people

There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching TV

If you're over 60, you get free TV and bus and rail passes

They don't use Bose anything anywhere

Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste

Every pub has a pet drunk

Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it

Cake is one of the major food groups

Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful

There are still no guns

Towel warmers!

Comments on Scott's post range from bemused Irish and British folk to astonished Americans.

He's gotten so into it, he's even responded to individual queries in some of the many comments.

Michelle Steuermann said: "So if there aren't any guns, how do they hunt?", to which Scott replied: "Dogs. There's probably about one gun for every thousand people.

"Hunters keep theirs locked up. No one carries a weapon in public. It's like living in a civilised country."
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post #2 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 10:18 AM
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I read your copied post, and I am not impressed. This is a biased liberal impression of GB. "There are no guns" is repeated, therefore admired. Criminals don't seem to have much trouble finding them in GB, and when there is a shooter in GB, there is a bloody massacre. Too many British police are NOT armed, but that wasn't on this list. I follow the news, not the tourist hype. The description of the pubs is charming. The description of old, worn out household appliances and hardware indicates a depressed economy, and it is sad. When the Berlin Wall came down, East Germany looked like the late 1940's, because nobody had money to buy new things and fix the old.
According to British TV/movies everybody smokes. According to British TV/movies, black people were in GB at the time of the Romans there. It is painful how their entertainment is so obsessed over this, such as casting a black british actress as a futuristic Queen Elizabeth (Dr. Who,) and the Lesbian love of a main character (Last Tango in Halifax). I'm not sure that the race problem is That settled there.
"Obama is considered a hero", but he wasn't invited to Prince William's and Kate's wedding, so I guess he ISN'T a hero to THEM.
My family is originally from GB, France and, on the other side, Croatia. I think it's interesting to study the cultures, but I'm not interested in living there. I'm happy to tour, then happy to come home again.
To the original writer, don't put people and cultures on a pedestal because they will lose their balance and fall off.
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post #3 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 10:38 AM
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From a British perspective the guy is very perceptive (obviously I can only judge the comments which as a Brit I know about),
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post #4 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 11:34 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corporal View Post
I read your copied post, and I am not impressed. This is a biased liberal impression of GB. "There are no guns" is repeated, therefore admired.

shouldnt it be admire that there are no guns?


Criminals don't seem to have much trouble finding them in GB, and when there is a shooter in GB, there is a bloody massacre.

Thats good coming from a place where there has been yet another random shooting.
Since 1987 there have been four massacres with guns resulting in 47 deaths. How many in the same period of time in the US?


Too many British police are NOT armed, but that wasn't on this list. I follow the news, not the tourist hype.

Majority of police are not armed and majority of them choose not to be.


The description of the pubs is charming. The description of old, worn out household appliances and hardware indicates a depressed economy, and it is sad.

Nowhere does he say old and worn out, he says small. Big dofference, small is usually mor economical to run. (As with cars)


When the Berlin Wall came down, East Germany looked like the late 1940's, because nobody had money to buy new things and fix the old.
According to British TV/movies everybody smokes.

Rarely portrayed in UK films or TV, you must be watching dated programmes or realistic programmes from the days when smoking was the norm.

According to British TV/movies, black people were in GB at the time of the Romans there. It is painful how their entertainment is so obsessed over this, such as casting a black british actress as a futuristic Queen Elizabeth (Dr. Who,) and the Lesbian love of a main character (Last Tango in Halifax). I'm not sure that the race problem is That settled there.

There was slavery in the UK but it stopped way before it did in the US.
"Obama is considered a hero", but he wasn't invited to Prince William's and Kate's wedding, so I guess he ISN'T a hero to THEM.

I wasn't invited either. Obama was coming over on a state visit soon after.
Yes, there is still a cultural problem in many areas with racial,problms,

My family is originally from GB, France and, on the other side, Croatia. I think it's interesting to study the cultures, but I'm not interested in living there. I'm happy to tour, then happy to come home again.
To the original writer, don't put people and cultures on a pedestal because they will lose their balance and fall off.
I don't think he is setting th Brits on a pedestal, I think some of our humour rubbed off on him.
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post #5 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corporal View Post
I read your copied post, and I am not impressed. This is a biased liberal impression of GB. "There are no guns" is repeated, therefore admired. Criminals don't seem to have much trouble finding them in GB, and when there is a shooter in GB, there is a bloody massacre. Too many British police are NOT armed, but that wasn't on this list. I follow the news, not the tourist hype. The description of the pubs is charming. .
When there is a shooter there is a bloody massacre? When since Dunblane and the banning of hand guns?

If many criminals were getting their hands on guns then you would expect there to be some fear of this....there really isn't and no-one I know lives with any concern about ever meeting or being in fear of anyone with a gun. When he says "there are no guns" he means that guns do not feature in the average person's life at all they are just not an issue or ever mentioned. In my area the noise of the shoot is the only annoyance.

Police are unarmed, not "too many British police are NOT armed". The only armed police are armed gun squads or those in special situations. The people living in this country do not want armed police and the police apparently also do not want to be armed.


Quote:
The description of old, worn out household appliances and hardware indicates a depressed economy, and it is sad.
I think he said appliances were small and for some reason televisions appeared better? Switches not working maybe is a national trait.


Quote:
According to British TV/movies everybody smokes. According to British TV/movies, black people were in GB at the time of the Romans there. It is painful how their entertainment is so obsessed over this, such as casting a black british actress as a futuristic Queen Elizabeth (Dr. Who,) and the Lesbian love of a main character (Last Tango in Halifax). I'm not sure that the race problem is That settled there.
I honestly do not understand your point here, what do you mean painful how our entertainment is obsessed about this? casting a black queen shows how
unbothered we are - I have no doubt there are race issues here, but we are a tiny multi cultural country and generally rub along fine considering we are practically living in each other's pockets compared to big land rich countries.

Quote:
"Obama is considered a hero", but he wasn't invited to Prince William's and Kate's wedding, so I guess he ISN'T a hero to THEM.
No he probably isn't a hero to them, and also probably not to many Brits, but Bush is largely considered to be an idiot over here.
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post #6 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 12:06 PM
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I do remember sitting on The Tube one time with my then 6 mo old son, there was a Sikh man sitting catty-corner to us and a Muslim man two people to my left. They were staring at each other and if looks could kill......it was highly uncomfortable and I took the opportunity to change cars when it presented itself; this was prior to 9-11.

While in Poland a few years back I had another uncomfortable situation where while waiting outside a shop with my daughter. A man approached and in a middle eastern accent asked me if I was an American, while standing inches from my face. We were about the same size so I did not step back (there was a wall behind and to one side so I was pretty well cornered, my bad) My daughter got the creeps and moved behind me. I said yes I was and then he asked if I was from Boston, this was about six months after the bombing there. I said "No,Texas". He said "Chuck Norris?". I said, "Yes, Chuck Norris." with a bit of edge to my voice and my daughter ran into the shop to get my mother, brother (who is a rather big dude) and the guide. He abruptly turned and left taking his gang of friends with him. What the purpose of this was is still beyond me. Perhaps he was trying to intimidate me or rob me? Perhaps where he was from, it was routine to get in someone's face when talking casually...perhaps he was simply looking to strike up a conversation, I don't know other than it felt very ominous.

Each country has their problems, good points, culture and ways of doing things. None is perfect, if there was such a place, everyone would move there.

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post #7 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 12:43 PM
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I think this was just a fun, cute little read <3 No need to get political over it. Thanks for posting, Foxhunter!

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #8 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 02:58 PM
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I loved reading it, thanks for sharing it !!
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post #9 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 03:31 PM
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Ha, love it! I especially love the idea of signs with nice typography and proper grammar (though the author then, repeatedly used then instead of than, oops!!).
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post #10 of 88 Old 10-07-2015, 03:52 PM
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It's just an American guys lighthearted view on the parts of Britain and Ireland that he saw, I can relate to a lot of it but not all of it because even in a small country like the UK things differ from one part to another
Obama was not invited to the wedding of William and Kate because it wasn't a 'State Occasion' that demanded all the heads of foreign countries to be asked to attend unless they were considered to be close friends of the family
It doesn't mean the man isn't admired by many Brits
He doesn't say 'old or worn out - the opposite with cars in fact as the strict UK laws keep old cars off the roads as they won't pass the rigorous MOT. Brits are as obsessed as anyone with new appliances, gadgets, techie stuff
The comment about guns was just his observation - if you live in a US state where its commonplace to see people walking round with guns then it would make a real impact on you if you went to a country where you only see them on display at organized shoots or maybe some farmer shooting vermin
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