Thanks guys for your replies! As I continue to get worse I have decided to seek professional help this time around. I was able to deal with my anxiety, OCD, and depression before, but since it has been triggered again this past january I can't get it under control. I thought I took care of it but it came back so time to take a different avenue.
I hope it works out for you. I had severe anxiety once, it was induced by an environment (forests). I am not the "go to a professional" type, and was afraid that if they gave me medication it would send me over the edge, yet wanted some sort of relief. I don't drink b/c it makes me sick, as have most all of the very few prescription drugs I have ever taken...so, there was some thread of logic to my thinking. When I look back on it, it would have sooo helped me to go to a professional and at least have them tell me what the matter was. I had no idea, it took me a long time (relatively) to figure out it is called "anxiety". :) It is one of those odd things that no one ever talks about, at least no one had ever done so around me to the point I understood what it is. Other than my horses, sitting and watching really wide rivers would calm me down...I couldn't put 2 and 2 together - the reason they calmed me down was - no trees. Sometimes what is triggering anxiety is so obvious you can't see it.
I believe if someone seeks help for it, they are half way to getting to where they want to be.