Congrats on the wedding!!!
Sorry to hear about the MIL, I have one of those too. Well, I have a pushy MIL and a momma's boy hubby.
Slowly he's beginning to realize what the MIL does to put me down (like bringing enough food for an army to christmas at MY house when we hosted christmas to take the stress off of her... :roll:)
CAREFULLY pick and choose your battles, you will eventually win as he will eventually realize how much you do & mean to him. It's taken me about 7 years of " Hon, I think this should just be an US and the KIDS day" or " I didn't think the comment MIL made over dinner wasn't very supportive to your goals, seems like she wants you to stay a kid forever. Please don't let her comment discourage you" " I appreciate the new direction you're going hunny and I support your 110%"
It does get old, but it will worsen with kids. DO NOT BE AFRAID to tell him what you're feeling and respect his wishes if he doesn't want you to have a "smackdown" with her.
Just this past christmas we had a blow out over how many christmas presents she was going to buy the kids.....She started putting me down and saying I was being a "control freak" because I requested that she only buy the kids 2 gifts each, they needed nothing and she's on a fixed income. Obviously, she felt I was the ultamate troll, but my hubby saw what I was trying to do for EVERYONE.
Long story short, she didn't come to christmas and hurt the hubby worse than anyone else. He's been more distant from her ever since. Not in a bad way but now we have BOUNDARIES!!!
I'd go on vacation and follow Vida's advice. She really is a sharp cookie and has the married years under he belt!!!!