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Anyone have MIL drama?

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        07-22-2009, 04:03 PM
      #11
    Weanling
    HAHA that's really smart thinking! We'll see how things go and if my SIL would be up for it but I doubt it she has to deal with this woman almost every weekend of her life and she cna't even go on vacation without her so she is just as upset if not more than I am :(
         
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        07-22-2009, 04:29 PM
      #12
    Foal
    I know my mom had a hard time with her MIL, my grandmother. They lived with my grandmother for a long time to. My dad would do the exact same thing that your hubby is doing with his mom. It drove my mom crazy. She eventually said, "It's either me, or your mom." My mom basically said, either you stop, or I'm leaving. Luckily my dad chose my mom.
         
        07-22-2009, 04:35 PM
      #13
    Yearling
    I like Vidaloco's advice!

    I don't have a hellish MIL thankfully (I really love her, she's so awesome!), but what your MIL did was rude and presumptuous. I would be livid too.
         
        07-22-2009, 11:30 PM
      #14
    Started
    Sometimes killing them with kindness works too. This woman is the mother of your beloved and will be your children's grandmother.

    I was blessed to have a wonderful MIL and I miss her every day.
         
        07-23-2009, 08:19 AM
      #15
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JadedEyes    
    I know my mom had a hard time with her MIL, my grandmother. They lived with my grandmother for a long time to. My dad would do the exact same thing that your hubby is doing with his mom. It drove my mom crazy. She eventually said, "It's either me, or your mom." My mom basically said, either you stop, or I'm leaving. Luckily my dad chose my mom.
    Well your dad was a smart man for choosing your mom! I believe after your married that your wife should be #1 and if I ever have sons I will teach them that value. I don't have a problem at all having a good realationship with your mother I just have a problem letting the MIL walk over the wife and husband do nothing about it

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goldilockz    
    I like Vidaloco's advice!

    I don't have a hellish MIL thankfully (I really love her, she's so awesome!), but what your MIL did was rude and presumptuous. I would be livid too.
    Yes my SIL is kicking around the idea as well we keep on going back and forth abut it but I think we could make it known that she wasn't wanted on this vacation :)


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Joshie    
    Sometimes killing them with kindness works too. This woman is the mother of your beloved and will be your children's grandmother.

    I was blessed to have a wonderful MIL and I miss her every day.
    I always wish I would have a great MIL but I pretty much knew for the last couple of years that this was going to be a problme because it always has been! I'm sorry about your MIL
         
        07-23-2009, 11:45 AM
      #16
    Trained
    Vida you are awesome! And I JUST LOVE your avatar!
         
        07-23-2009, 02:32 PM
      #17
    Showing
    Gee golly thanks
    We can only hope wisdom comes with age
         
        07-23-2009, 03:50 PM
      #18
    Trained
    Congrats on the wedding!!!

    Sorry to hear about the MIL, I have one of those too. Well, I have a pushy MIL and a momma's boy hubby.

    Slowly he's beginning to realize what the MIL does to put me down (like bringing enough food for an army to christmas at MY house when we hosted christmas to take the stress off of her... :roll:)

    CAREFULLY pick and choose your battles, you will eventually win as he will eventually realize how much you do & mean to him. It's taken me about 7 years of " Hon, I think this should just be an US and the KIDS day" or " I didn't think the comment MIL made over dinner wasn't very supportive to your goals, seems like she wants you to stay a kid forever. Please don't let her comment discourage you" " I appreciate the new direction you're going hunny and I support your 110%"

    It does get old, but it will worsen with kids. DO NOT BE AFRAID to tell him what you're feeling and respect his wishes if he doesn't want you to have a "smackdown" with her.

    Just this past christmas we had a blow out over how many christmas presents she was going to buy the kids.....She started putting me down and saying I was being a "control freak" because I requested that she only buy the kids 2 gifts each, they needed nothing and she's on a fixed income. Obviously, she felt I was the ultamate troll, but my hubby saw what I was trying to do for EVERYONE.

    Long story short, she didn't come to christmas and hurt the hubby worse than anyone else. He's been more distant from her ever since. Not in a bad way but now we have BOUNDARIES!!!

    I'd go on vacation and follow Vida's advice. She really is a sharp cookie and has the married years under he belt!!!!

    Good Luck!!!
         
        07-23-2009, 03:58 PM
      #19
    Weanling
    Thanks for the story! I definitely know I'm not the only one that has MIL issues LOL I guess your right I have to pick and choose my battles but this is one I thought I deserved to win LOL We usually only argue when it involves her which really irratates me! I'm glad your hubby is starting to come to reality with things! It does make the marriage a lot stronger I believe!
         
        08-07-2009, 02:19 PM
      #20
    Green Broke
    CR what did you decide about the vacation? Don't mean to be nosey, but I am very curious what you and your SIL decided on.
         

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