Anyone have MIL drama? - Page 3
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > General Off Topic Discussion

Anyone have MIL drama?

This is a discussion on Anyone have MIL drama? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        08-07-2009, 05:05 PM
      #21
    Weanling
    Hehe :) well we didnt get our way totally but we put our foot down and told the guys that they will not be staying more than one day and if the subject comes up we will tell her how it is :)

    Funny thing is about this whole thing my MIL visited with my parents jsut last weekend and brought up the trip to my parents asking if they were going and my mom knows the whole situation..well she told my MIL that no they were not going this was our vacation. And then our MIL admitted that she knows "they" don't want them there LOL..well if you know we don't want you there why be a pest and come still???? So I don't know whats going ot happen if they are still going to come or not I haven't brought the subject up recently with hubby. It just blows my mind that they would still do that after my parents told them they werent going because it was OUR vacation..STUPID woman LOL thanks for asking though :)
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        08-07-2009, 07:21 PM
      #22
    Showing
    Please come back to this thread and let us know how it ends up. I'm curious how its going to turn out too
         
        08-07-2009, 08:42 PM
      #23
    Foal
    I am a mother in law and absolutely love my daughter in law and even if I did not like her I still would do everything in my power to work through it. I have three sons and they all call me and we are close, but I would never barge into their affairs with out asking first. I like being included in on things but I also know these kids have a different life style and life.
    Sounds like this women is all about control and that your husband ( bless his heart ) has been under her control all these years, so You Take Control For Him , You call her and tell her that there must be some kind of misunderstanding and that you Booked the vacation for you and your friends and it is a get away for the younger crowd, tell her that you would be more than happy to plan a trip with her next time around. And don't take no for an answer . If she thinks that you are rude, tell her " sorry that you feel that way but this is the way it is. Give it right back to her, and write down what is said so it never gets into a she said thing....

    I don;t think men are mama's boys , that are often just very non confronters , or have over powering mothers and sometimes they are just very respectful to their mothers.
         
        08-10-2009, 12:18 PM
      #24
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Vidaloco    
    Please come back to this thread and let us know how it ends up. I'm curious how its going to turn out too

    LOL I will be sure to do that! The trip isnt until last weekend in August!

    Oh and to add to it my SIL (best friend) told our MIL sister what was going on. Our MIL sister understands how this woman works and can understand how she is with us and the guys...well apparently her sister told her MIL something about htis vacation along the lines that they shouldn't be going but I'm not sure what the outcome of that conversation is and wont find out until tonight when my SIL talks to her about it LOL.....atleast someone stood up for us!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by questionable    
    I am a mother in law and absolutely love my daughter in law and even if I did not like her I still would do everything in my power to work through it. I have three sons and they all call me and we are close, but I would never barge into their affairs with out asking first. I like being included in on things but I also know these kids have a different life style and life.
    Sounds like this women is all about control and that your husband ( bless his heart ) has been under her control all these years, so You Take Control For Him , You call her and tell her that there must be some kind of misunderstanding and that you Booked the vacation for you and your friends and it is a get away for the younger crowd, tell her that you would be more than happy to plan a trip with her next time around. And don't take no for an answer . If she thinks that you are rude, tell her " sorry that you feel that way but this is the way it is. Give it right back to her, and write down what is said so it never gets into a she said thing....

    I don;t think men are mama's boys , that are often just very non confronters , or have over powering mothers and sometimes they are just very respectful to their mothers.

    I wish I had a MIL that I enjoyed being around! Me and her always butted heads from the beginning of the realtionship! And you are totally right she has to be in control of their lives still one way or another! Its worse for my SIL though because she has to see her often when she invites herself to their house all the time not asking her if she minds or not! But some how it gets turned around on her or me that we are the bad guys in the situation if we say anything! The guys always turn it around on us....one of these days she is going to get a huge slap in the face from both of us (not literally LOL)
         
        08-10-2009, 04:21 PM
      #25
    Weanling
    Very upsetting update :(

    Well previously stated our MIL sister was getting involved in this which we did not want her to but she did anyways and it turned into a disaster! I will copy the email so I don't get things twisted but the things that were said were not true (both steph and I know this) and everything seemed to be blamed on me for being jealous??? What am I jealous of I will never know but if that's what this stupid woman needs to think to get through her day....Ugh..i just wish I could give her a good slap in the face LOL

    This is the email sent to my SIL- My responses will be in red.

    well, she said that she only gets to see Clint 2-3 times per year and that is the only reason. She also said that Clint wants to see them and when they asked Danielle she blamed it on you that you were the one that didn't want them to come down for a few days.( I never spoke to anyone about this except my husband and my SIL so where they got that when "they" asked me I blamed it on my SIL...I never mentioned my SIL in anything other than she needs a vacation and their parents coming along is not a vacation..only thing I mentioned about her but it got twisted around once again on me)

    Stephanie, I know you don't want to hear this, but they are hurt and she was crying and said they don't have girls to get together with, so they only want to see their sons. Also, I think you should make sure that Danielle is truly your friend. (What I'm getting from this is that my MIL said some untrue things about me to say to make sure im really her friend? Wth??? I would never say anything that would make anyone think otherwise)

    I heard her out and I understand her point; they feel like you and Danielle are constantly getting together to go against anything they say or do and they understand that Danielle is jealous, but they do not understand that you are - they don't understand you being that way because you never have been.( Once again i'm being blamed. The only reason they feel like we gang up on them is because how much she interferes in our lives that is not necessary so of course we are going to stick together! Nobody else cares how we feel except for me and my SIL..and I don't understand why they think I'm jealous and have always been that way? I don't see or talk to them so why am I jealous? Steph is not jealous she is tired of our MIL meddlilng in ever part of their lives) Maybe you are just waking up to the L's ways and it is getting to you - I am concerned for your marriage at this point. Do not let other's influence your decisions - look into your own heart.( the only reason anyone should be concerned is because our MIL cannot keep her nose out of our business especially my SIL and her husband)

    I don't want to get in the middle but after hearing her out, I understand what she is saying. She explained to me that she tries to do everything she can for all of you and she never even got a birthday call from Danielle for her 50th birthday. Personally, I would be upset.( me nor my husband sent her a card or called because we didnt know it was her birthday..i don't know my own parents birthdays let alone his mothers so that was not on purpose..my SIL neve sent a card or called either but I'm the one that looks bad) I am starting to understand these things especially now that I am watching Katie go through similar issues with Jack's mom. It seems that she is now finding petty things to go at Katie with to push Katie further away and Karen and Harry are feeling that is what you are doing.

    I am going to back away from this - I just hope you understand that all I want for you and Jeff is to make it - that marriage is difficult enough - please do not let others influence how you handle your family and marriage issues.

    Love,

    Aunt B
         
        08-10-2009, 04:29 PM
      #26
    Yearling
    It always makes me laugh when someone says "I don't want to get in the middle" while getting in the middle of something that doesn't involve them.

    It seems it's time that you just nod and smile for a while. A lot of MILs have mastered the art of manipulation, and they tend to win in most situations.
         
        08-10-2009, 04:33 PM
      #27
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goldilockz    
    It always makes me laugh when someone says "I don't want to get in the middle" while getting in the middle of something that doesn't involve them.

    It seems it's time that you just nod and smile for a while. A lot of MILs have mastered the art of manipulation, and they tend to win in most situations.

    HAHA you are so right! She already put herself in the middle after being told not to by my SIL and now she doesn't want in the middle of it...hmm to late for that!

    Yeah your right I can't bring this up to hubby because it wasn't supposed to be shared to me obviously so I just have to sit back and wait for my perfect timing and when something is said directly to me!

    Another funny thing is our MIL never says anything when me and my SIL are together because she knows she can't twist our words around and with both of us there to be able to defend ourself she never says anything! Its always said when were are only one on one.
         
        08-10-2009, 04:45 PM
      #28
    Showing
    Your MIL is good. She's playing the poor poor pitiful me card isn't she
    If all else fails, say everyone is picking on you and cry. If she felt that badly and that put upon, she would cancel going with you on the vacation. Has she done that yet? Probably not. Don't let her play you.
         
        08-10-2009, 04:58 PM
      #29
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Vidaloco    
    Your MIL is good. She's playing the poor poor pitiful me card isn't she
    If all else fails, say everyone is picking on you and cry. If she felt that badly and that put upon, she would cancel going with you on the vacation. Has she done that yet? Probably not. Don't let her play you.

    You are so right! She is very good at that! And everyone falls for it except me and Steph! The sad thing is she knows what she is doing and the trouble it has caused but yet she doesn't care as long as she gets her way! And NO she has not cancelled the trip! Sad that my parents can be grown up enough to not butt in on our vacation but my MIL can't.
         
        08-10-2009, 05:10 PM
      #30
    Showing
    You need to be as sweet as candy to her when you see or speak to her. Don't give her any fuel
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    god. i really detest drama. please help! Go The Distance Horse Talk 9 04-12-2009 09:20 PM
    Baby Mama Drama Small_Town_Girl General Off Topic Discussion 15 09-21-2008 11:16 AM



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:38 PM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0