Well, maybe I'd tell what I got today. At first I thought to put this in the first message on the topic but then I didn't done it. Well, here it comes:
I got this one today when I signed up my web photo gallery. The gallery informed that the Information Security Committee of Parliament has took over it and now there's new rules that every user have to obey:
Rules of the Information Security Committee. Just for you and the safe use of the Gallery:
Read this carefully! The idea of the new rules is to ensure Finnish youngsters' and young adults' morale and assure they'll surf on the web secure way. Like we all know, Internet services can be very difficult and even scary things to use. That is why the Information Security Committee has now legislated that people under 30 aren't allowed to do it all independently anymore.
Next rules have been formed because them help to keep community decent and cosy. Please follow rules every time you use the Gallery. You can use the Gallery only 15 minutes per day.
(at this stage I saw red because I didn't remember it's 1st of April and wondered if our lovely prime minister and the government have managed to carry some stupid proposal, again).
The rules pertain to your profile picture:
The only allowed profile picture is a picture of yourself. You have to smile - sad, confused or otherwise unattractive faces are forbidden.
The profile picture have to be taken just straight at your face. The face have to be in the middle of picture and the head upright. The picture can be b&w or colored but the background is always concolorous.
Rules pertain to other pictures:
There have to be positive atmosphere in every picture. You are not allowed to add moody, anxious or undefined pictures in the Gallery.
If you want add photoshopped pictures you commit to photoshop pictures with all good manners and professional skills. While adding photoshopped pictures, you have to send a copy from a license of your photoshopping software to the Information Security Committee. You will have also send a certificate that proves you have a qualified degree in graphic design.
While adding pictures taken in nature you have to consider them affect on images people have about Finland. The work group that has been given a mission to develop our travelling services has asked us to help them. So pictures which contain any junk or unattractive landscapes are forbidden. Allowed pictures have to give Finland as an attractive, idyllic Nordic Country.
Please take care of that there's always recognizable season in your nature pictures. We also hope there would be inherent Finnish animals in them. In captures you could state these animals and their Finnish and Latin names.
If you add pictures about your pet ensure their fur is shiny and well trimmed, they has bright eyes and generally healthy look. Every picture which breaks that rule will be reported to the animal protection.
If there is more than one person in the picture every person has predominate as much. You are not allowed to crop somebody partly out of the picture because it can make they feel outside.
Please notice, when you add pictures for example of your friends you have to ensure that their faces and the atmosphere are something that they want it to be. Moody or negative atmospheres are still forbidden.
Rules pertain to comments and commenting pictures:
You have always keep it truthful. All kind of lies are forbidden.
Write literary language in Finnish or Swedish. Abbreviations, slang and written smileys are forbidden. Members of the Information Security Committee have to always be able to understand what you have written. That is why all kind of expressions used among juveniles are not allowed, unless you have given a translation in literary language to the Information Security Committee beforehand.
Comments have to be positive. If there is critique included in the comment you always have to point out clearly that it is not focused on the person or acts of the user.
Please use private comments only in exceptional cases. Comments have to mainly be public, not including anything secret.
Because it can be hard to obey these rules everytime, there is introduced standard comments formed by the Information Security Committee. We ensure them are all good in different situations.
Other rules pertain to the Gallery:
Please consider other users while using the Gallery. It is not allowed to tell that you're for example a "dog lover" becuase it can offend users who like cats.
Please join only channels that do not offend anyone. Because we do not want to aid channels which support controversies caused by different views, we will remove every channel which includes a some kind of opinion.
You should also keep the Gallery free of other opinions as well as possible. Just take it rather as a service which prefer commenting about values like friendship, harmony etc.
Please keep the surroundings of the computer clean of things like plates, glasses, mugs etc. while using the Gallery. Switch also tv or radio off. That ensures you can concentrate 100% of these rules without any interferences, in every situation. Bad language is absolutely forbidden in the Gallery. If you use bad language, you will be punished.
We are also going to deliver a report if we will take the VIP service away because it can cause inequality.
Because we want to add consumption and slow down the current regression we are going to duplicate all the prices of our chargeable services and quadruple the number of advertises on our sites. We recommend every user to shop so much as possible at the Gallery's online shop because we believe you want help us to prevent unemployment rising anymore.
The Gallery account has to always include your real age and an available email address. If the Information Security Committee send an email to you, you have to answer within three working days.
Feedback will be answered during working days between 8am and 4pm o'clock. Source: IRC-Galleria - Säännöt
Luckily that was just a joke
I think I wouldn't use that Gallery anymore if it really was something like that. Actually even my dad, that Gallery and my friend managed to cheat me
. I just didn't seem to understand that it's 1st of April, not even if I noticed that afted every cheatings.