bad day (parents) - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 13 Old 02-02-2008, 11:33 PM Thread Starter
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bad day (parents)

Just wondering if anybody else gets into fights as much and as badly as i do with their parents. Its basically a yelling rage about this and that and stuff all the time and then ending with threats to hit me or them yelling like crazy. I absolutely hate it its driving me crazy yet every time it happens its my fault. I feel like crap half the time anyway and the little arguements always have insults torwards me in some way and when i say they said something they deny it and say my hearing is screwed up and that i only hear what i wanna hear. It fricken gets on my nerves its making me a depressing wreck when i'm alone but i hold it back basically and keep this happy face on around friends and stuff....which is the only people i like to be around at this point. :roll: i don't even like staying at my house that much and if i am at my house i'm just in my own space.....and i just went through one of those rages again a couple min ago and i feel like crap all over again.

anybody else have these problems in their house?
how do you deal with it?
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post #2 of 13 Old 02-02-2008, 11:57 PM
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I think everyone has gotten into a fight with their parents before, it's kinda of expected once you hit your teens, lol. Every once in a while I'll get into a fight my parents but we're the kind that 10 minutes later we'll be laughing together, so...

I don't really know your situation, only from your side of it. But...try to avoid them (the fights) the best you can, I guess. I know it can get frustrating but try to stay calm and don't raise your voice. Answering calmly and with a peaceful spirit turns away wrath. Or something like that, lol.

My mom is really emotional, so she tends to go off right away whereas my dad is WAY calm. He'll ask me to do something or ask me why I feel this way, where my mom would tell me to do it or tell me it was rediculous to feel that way. When my dad would address me, I was fine. But if my mom would address me over the same issue HER way, there would be a fight.

Sooo, I don't know. Try talking to your parents about this. Let them know that it upsets you how much you fight and that you dont WANT to fight with them.

I'm the worst advice giver! lol, but I thought i'd give it a try since no one else has yet and I didn't want you to get dissapointed.
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post #3 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 12:05 AM Thread Starter
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haha thanks but i wouldn't get dissapointed its all on what you guys wanna say.

Thanks for trying though lol i have talked to them before about it and it just seems to not help at all and i know i have some part in the fight but its starting to become an every day thing. I think i'm worst with my dad though and i'm sry but don't you just hate the times when they tell you to quit talking and listen to what they have to say and then when they ask for your input they get mad because you disagreed or something? It gets on my nerves so i don't even answer anymore,which apparently makes them even more mad :roll:

i don't know i'm sry i'm just basically venting on here. Maybe it is because of teen years or something but all i know is i'm tired of everything falling back on me and only me.
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post #4 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 12:53 AM
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Yep, I understand all that lol Went through it. Except my parents never asked for my input, haha. I wasn't allowed to say anything.

Anyways...hopefully things will turn out better.
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post #5 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 12:59 AM
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oh man, this is bringing me back to the days....hehe (not laughing at you), it's just that this is completely normal, and everyone gets through it and believe it or not, you will probably end up having a really great relationship with your parents when you get a bit older. my situations crappy because i no longer talk to my mom, but back in the day when i lived at home i HATED it lol. we fought so much about nothing really. but all i seem to remember is the good times now. my dad is another case, i stopped talking to him through high school (bc of my mom) and now i regret not spending enough time with him. now we have a beautiful relationship, but he lives in Kansas :( and I miss him everyday. As bad as it seems and depressing as it seems now, it is really lonely not to have them around as you get older. I dont even remember how i got through it in the past. I think i did a lot of drifting in my mind, stayed in my room, friends, sat outside, i read ALOT of books and got caught up in those worlds, i drew like crazy too, mostly when it was nice, hung out outside (i was never much of an indoor girl). Just try and do the best you can to listen to what they say, and keep in mind, it will all make sense in the future. There's nothing anyone can really say to make you feel better or to deal with it better now because you are constantly living the situation. Just keep your head up and as time goes on, it will pass, and the fights will get fewer....

GOOD LUCK! and of course, never fret to post to blow off steam :) we're here for ya!
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post #6 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 10:14 AM
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awww. I know how you feel; my stepdad and I can't be in the same house for more than 3 days. After that it's just one big fight. Whenever we would get in a fight I would go to a friends house, or go out to the barn. I wouldnt always ride, but just grooming by boy made me feel better.
Im not sure how old you are, but just keep thinking, just a little longer and ill be away at school That really helped me get through a lot.
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post #7 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 12:19 PM
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I know what your saying. My dad and I get along super well, but my mom, it seems like she hates me. We are like screaming at each other like every day. Example, right now as I type this lol
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post #8 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 03:22 PM
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First of all this is my very first post! I really like this board.

I'm going to come at this at a totally different angle, because I'm a mom to two girls. One of my daughters is 20 and the other one is 13.

My older daughter and I fight much more than my younger one and I do. Why? I'm not really sure. It's been going on for several years and it's taken me until very recently to realize that "I" need to stop antagonizing her. I am a very sarcastic person and even though I've known her her entire life(!), sometimes she doesn't know when I'm kidding and she takes offense at my comments. Sometimes I say things intentionally to get her upset and as soon as the words come out of my mouth I regret them.

I think you parents need to get to the point where they need to just keep quiet in regards to some things. I know there are always two sides to a story and I'm pretty confident in saying that you're not perfect (nor are your parents) so you both have work to do. If I were you, I would also just try to keep quiet. Try as hard as you can to just not say anything when the fighting starts. Literally bite your tongue if you have to, the pain of that might hurt less than the pain of saying or hearing something that will hurt your feelings (or your parents). Trust me hon..being a teenaged girl in this world today, is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to be, but also, being the parent of a teenaged girl in this world today, is no easy job either. Truly, and I believe this is true for your parents too, we only want the best for you. I watch my 20 year old going through some things with her boyfriend that I went through at her age, and I tell her that, but sometimes she just needs to learn on her own. Boy is it hard to see her fall sometimes though. I'm sure that things will get better between your parents and you, even though it might take a couple of .....years!
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post #9 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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haha yea thanks everyone.

Well yea i'm 16 right now and wont be 17 until november. I am in 10th grade and things are kinda hard on me at times. The odd thing though is its more quiet during the week than the weekends and i think that is mostly because my dad works. Honestly i think its my dad that irritates me most my mom tends to back off and leave me alone but my dad always has to mess with me :roll: let it be from touching me and playing around when i don't feel like it, talking about stupid stuff, or just joking around when its not the time to joke around. Then he gets mad at me....every conversation between me and him end in some stupid fight because of something stupid....oh well i guess its just how things are.

The only time i feel happy and have no care in the world is around my June June. I love him bunches and just being around him makes me happy sometimes i just go to my room and think about him or get on the computer and look at the pics of me and him together. I just hope nothing ever happens to him because he soothes me.
I don't know how my life would be without him.
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post #10 of 13 Old 02-03-2008, 08:59 PM
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^^ yea, I know how you feel. I am a 20 yr old college kid, and my stepdad and I never ever got along. The arguments used to get really heated, and now, I really do not enjoy being at home. Especially, once going off to college, and having that sense of independence, and then having to go back home under "their rules" can get quite frustrating. Just be patient, and know that the situation does not last forever, no matter how bad it seems. Do things, and think about things that make you happy. Oh oh, and what I do... when I do get in an argument and you feel yourself losing control, seriously *I know this is lame* but, try like, doing divisibility problems in your head. Like, "is 2487 divisible by 4? 5? 6?" By diverting your brain power into something not emotional, maybe it will help you calm down. That being said, I know how hard it can be to have your parents not seeing eye to eye. Hope everything works out, and if you need anyone to talk to, just message me, kay?
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