being suportive when I don't want to be - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nebraska
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being suportive when I don't want to be

So hubby wanted to talk to me last night. He's the quite type so when he says he want's to talk it's never good. He's been working as a truck mechanic for awhile & do to some changes at his employer, looks like the truck shop may get dropped. His plant manager talked to him about taking a supervisor position in the plant, but it would be on the overnight shift. I had to work off shifts for 8 years before I finally got days. we're finally on the same schedule & things have been great. The thought of him going to overnights had me in tears. He said he wouldn't do it if I didn't want him too. Yes, the pay & benifits would be much better. He thinks he could get back to days in about 2 years. I know it would be a good carear move for him, physically & pay wise, so I told him to go for it. The thought of giving up my big teddy bear at night again SUCKS! I hate having to be a grown up & making the "right" decision. I just want to stomp my feet and say no no NO!

Cowgirl up!
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post #2 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 09:31 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Missouri
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Gotta do what's best for the family unfortunately.. I'm sure he isn't too keen about it either. I'm glad he's still got a job though.. so many people have been let go or forced to retire.

It'll work out!

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #3 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 09:49 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mannford, Ok
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I feel your pain! I would seriously struggle if my hubby worked nights. As it is right now he is starting up a CNC shop and leaves for work at 5 and doesnt get home till after 6 or 7 most nights.... Its a struggle but to at least have contact at night is a huge help. Good luck!
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post #4 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 10:04 AM
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your "teddy bear" is lucky to be so wanted and needed as he is. must make him feel good on the inside, even thought outside circumstances are not so nice.
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post #5 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nebraska
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a lot of the wemon I work with think I'm nuts when I tell them even after 16 years of being married, we still sleep cuddled up next to eachother. I call him my teddy bear so much, he got a tattoo of a grizzly bear on his shoulder. I know I should be happy he's got a good job & he's thinking of trying to better us financially, but the selfish part of me is coming out BIG time

Cowgirl up!
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post #6 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 11:06 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Western Australia
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My fiance works a fly in fly out job on the mines. He is away for 4 weeks at a time, home for 2 and then flies out again. Being supportive is a tough gig at times!

Trojan 09.11.02 - 26.10.10 // Kody 01.09.89-25.06.12 // Rex 05.11.95-21.12.12
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post #7 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 11:21 AM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northern Illinois
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I feel ya on this one.

My husband is a corrections officer, they work 12 hour shifts. 6am to 6pm or 6pm to 6am.

I hate it when he works the night shift, especially since I work normal day hours. We barely see each other when he does, and it's hard to sleep without him.

Hang in there though, its rough for you but I'm sure it isn't easy for him either. Support him as best you can.

** Don't be the rider who gallops all night and never sees the horse that is beneath him **
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post #8 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 11:27 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: SW MO
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I have a similar problem. Before I met my hubby he worked in a high paying medical position with a hospital. The hospital termed his contract 9 months before we married this year. Since then, he has been doing freelance work and trying to start his own practice. Needless to say, his income has dropped over half. Thankfully, he lived modestly before he lost his hospital position so he doesn't have excess debt. Just the normal stuff, house, insurance, financial aid.

He is really struggling with the impact to his ability to make financial choices and the loss of his financial freedom. I work full time, but my income is not what I am used to either, since I am living in a rural town. I took a significant pay cut to perform the same job/duties as I did in the big city. I give him over 80% of my weekly income to help with household debt and expenses, leaving me with just enough money to do my hair once a month, put gas in my car, pay for Sam's board and save up for items I truly want.

I try very hard not to demonstrate any indication that our financial lifestyle is causing me frustration. I had also been pretty financially free - able to do a lot with little or no saving or planning.

I don't want him to feel worse about his "manly" position as the provider and his inability to take me to dinner "just because."

If you are the praying type, he has a job interview to provide medical instruction next week. It won't be the same money he had, but it is steady and pays more than my job so I know it will help. We would move, but he has children locally and it will kill him to leave them.
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post #9 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 11:32 AM
Join Date: Feb 2011
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Congrats and sorry are both in order I suppose. I can relate, my hubby spends a lot of time on call and there are lots of nights I have to sleep alone. It stinks but you do what you have to do. *Big hugs*

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #10 of 12 Old 06-22-2012, 11:39 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South of No-where
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Life sucks at times. Be thankful you have each other and hopefully he will be able to get back to 1st quicker than expected.

All I pay my psychiatrist is cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day!

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