As the Boot Turns or The Rides of our Lives a Novelletta for HF
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > General Off Topic Discussion

As the Boot Turns or The Rides of our Lives a Novelletta for HF

This is a discussion on As the Boot Turns or The Rides of our Lives a Novelletta for HF within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        04-03-2009, 11:40 PM
      #1
    Banned
    As the Boot Turns or The Rides of our Lives a Novelletta for HF

    Here's the beginning of the first HF Novelletta. Please keep adding but keep it just this side of PG 13


    Biff Martin sat on the top rail of one of his perfect white board fences, staring vacantly over the thousands of acres of green, rolling horse country that belonged to his family. His rather blank gaze noted a cloud of dust advancing at great speed down the ancestral drive. A tiny bay colour pony with black points screeched to a halt in front of him. Coughing slightly, his heart jumped at the sight of the tall, slim female who dismounted as if she, not he, owned the place. She was clad in a microscopic tank top that sported the logo of every high-end horse product on the market. Her riding pants, which appeared to have been sprayed on, were covered entirely in sparkling crystals. Her height was augmented by a pair of custom-made, mauve ostrich cowboy boots. She clenched a long, unlit cigarillo in her perfectly whitened teeth. "Hi," she said, "my name's Trouble, gotta a spark?" Biff's Cleveland Bay, Bosco, unfortunately chose that moment to shove Biff violently off the fence in an attempt to tell him the wormer he'd been given that morning wasn't sitting at all well. Seconds later, Bosco felt a whole lot better.

    And then...
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        04-03-2009, 11:44 PM
      #2
    Weanling
    The woman was covered with everything Bosco had eaten that day. She was head to toe manure. Her outfit was ruined. Biff couldn't help but offer to let her clean up at his place. So they headed off...
         
        04-03-2009, 11:56 PM
      #3
    Started
    to Biff's house. Biff offered to wash Trouble's expensively tailored clothing. Biff sent Trouble to a room to change into comfortable clothing while he washed Trouble's clothes.

    Bosco, though, snorted in surprise when the pair exited Biff's house. Biff was wearing sparkling crystal pants while Trouble was wearing chaps. Unfortunately for Biff, Mr. Edwards, the town mayor, chose to stop by the farm at that exact moment. A look of horror came across his face when....

         
        04-04-2009, 12:41 AM
      #4
    Cat
    Green Broke
    ...he saw his youngest daughter with a man almost twice her age.

    Then he saw the crystally shimmery pants. Hard as he tried to hold it in he couldn't help but burst into roaring laughter.

    Jolted out of their conversation, Trouble and Biff finally noticed they were not alone...
         
        04-04-2009, 12:07 PM
      #5
    Banned
    Trouble and Biff looked up and noticed her father standing there, but out of the barn bursts Sue.

    Sue was glad of the mucker job Biff had given her and thankful to Biff for providing her with room and board. She had, after all, lost everything including her memory in a horrific auto accident the previous year.....but she felt that Trouble was trouble and she needed some excuse to put an end to a rival for Biff's affections.

    So Sue doffed the thermal snowpants rescued from the dollar bin at Value Village, followed swiftly by the quilted mechanic's overalls obviously borrowed from 'Joe's Towing Service - You Ditch It, We Hitch It'. Struggling free from the ankle to chin down-filled musher parka, she paused for a breath. "Hang on, Biff", she prayed, "Almost done." She peeled off the three flannel pyjama pants and finally found denim. Off came the tuque, the flapped hat and the bandana.

    Sue hurdled the heap and flew to the barn doors...just in time to see Biff with Trouble and Trouble's father all standing there...

    Ummmm
         
        04-05-2009, 12:07 AM
      #6
    Weanling
    After recovering from the shock Sue realized she was stand ther in nothing but her undergarments and a pair of Muck boots. Sue made a beline for the house but half way there she ran smack dab into the mayor knocking them both out cold. Biff and Trouble....
         
        04-05-2009, 09:17 PM
      #7
    Cat
    Green Broke
    Biff's roaring laughter could be heard echoing over the rolling hills at the sight of the two of them bouncing off each other. Something about the whole situation struck his funny bone, especially with the mayor being such a proper (and stuffy - Biff added to himself) man. That was, until he realized that poor Sue had not moved.

    The mayor was getting up with Trouble's help, but Sue's skyclad body didn't even twitch. He quickly walked over and gathered her inert form into his arms and held her close as he headed to the house. "If you will excuse me folks, I need to make sure this pretty, even if a bit eccentric, lady is ok."

    He spun on the heel of his boot, his crystal pants reflecting diamond-shaped rainbow patterns on Trouble's irate expression at being left for some horse-poo shoveling ditz. Biff was oblivious to the turmoil he was leaving in his front yard; something he may soon regret.
         
        04-05-2009, 10:33 PM
      #8
    Banned
    During as this scuffle Trouble's eyes narrowed and her lips thinned, "Do I smell a slinkily hip-swaying, evilly man-hungry, kind of a rat-ess taking up all of Biff's attention?"

    Swiftly Trouble turned and went into the barn where she discovered a pair of mauve ostrich leather cowboy boots hidden and stuck in a stall deep in the barn. Grabbing the boots as evidence of Sue's consiracy in getting Biff's attention, she tried to rise. She rolled left and hit the wheelbarrow. Rolled right and hit the wall. "Great," she muttered, "Gotta be the first person to get cast in a stall." Determined, she tucked her legs up and head in and cannonballed her way into the aisle hitting the wall with a resounding thud. With the help of the crossties she heaved herself to her feet and with all the dignity she could muster looked squarely into the disapproving eyes of her father.

    Oh oh.................
         
        04-05-2009, 10:55 PM
      #9
    Yearling
    Before the arguntment could begin, a loud whinny was heard. Everyone's head turned, and they were confused. Huh? Then they looked down and noticed one of the smallest mini ponies each one of them had every seen. He wouldn't stpo making a ruccus, and so Trouble stepped forward..
         
        04-10-2009, 11:43 AM
      #10
    Banned
    As Trouble started to say something her gaze slipped past her father and on to Biff who had come out of the house. Biff had taken off some of his clothes to cover Sue after her accident so he had quickly dressed before he came out to investigate the ruckus. But a sudden cool breeze reminded Biff that he had forgotten to put pants on before his chaps.

    Trouble, peeking from the barn, saw the discomfort on Biff's face. As he attempted to walk backwards to the trucks a slight breeze caught his chaps and revealed...well, it revealed a lot. "Good Gawd," she whispered, "the man has no pants!" Hurriedly, she ran to the door. "Biff, could I just check with you for a second before you go?" Behind her back she held a pair of extra castoff barn jeans, lovingly laundered and pressed by her very own hands and tenderly placed in her private place. "Think maybe you forgot something" she said as she handed them...reluctantly...to Biff.
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    Whiskey Turns 5 on the 24th!!! Whiskey Lullaby Horse Talk 1 03-21-2009 08:04 AM
    my pony turns 10 today!! The day I got her. Tiffany01 Horse Talk 4 12-02-2008 12:32 PM
    Who here lives in Oregon? Bucky's Buddy Horse Tack and Equipment 9 05-12-2008 07:39 PM
    horse wont do turns to the right cheethamz17 Horse Training 3 08-21-2007 02:21 AM
    Days of our lives *ArabianPrincess* Member Journals 6 05-16-2007 11:10 PM



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:22 AM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0