bothering me a bit...
 
 

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bothering me a bit...

This is a discussion on bothering me a bit... within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
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        12-15-2008, 05:55 PM
      #1
    Yearling
    bothering me a bit...

    So friday night was my company Christmas party. There is one man that works here that I DO NOT get along with. We never have...whenever I have seen him drunk and out side of work he is very inappropriate. Well Friday night he decided to do this to me...i am not one for taking peoples crap. (sorry) Well he came up to me and my fiance and said some very mean things to us...(im not going to put them on here becaue there are younger people reading this as well) Well I wish I could say some thing to the VP of our company about this...he said things to many different women that night. One who is married to one of the guys here but is one of our competitors. I know that she has said some thing to her boss and her boss has brought it up with our VP. Do you think it is a good or bad idea for me to talk to him about this??? Let me know because this has been bothering me all day today. I walked by him and he looked at me and laughed...

    I don't know what to do....
         
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        12-15-2008, 05:59 PM
      #2
    Weanling
    It's hard to say without knowing more about specifically what happened. Sorry!
         
        12-15-2008, 10:15 PM
      #3
    Started
    Do you think it is a good or bad idea for me to talk to him about this???

    Yes, speak to your VP. Get it on record. It sounds like this person said things that are totally inappropriate. Your boss should be made aware of this type of conduct.
         
        12-16-2008, 01:54 AM
      #4
    Weanling
    I'll tell you what I tell my kids. Write it ALL down! Dates & times included. Document, document, DOCUMENT! (I know...WHAT A pita....) Otherwise it becomes a he said/she said kinda thing.
    I also got to thinking...how do you know YOU aren't being 'tested'? Maybe somebody wants to see a reaction...how you handle things.
    Then again...some things are simply unacceptable!!
         
        12-16-2008, 01:59 AM
      #5
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Appyt    
    Do you think it is a good or bad idea for me to talk to him about this???

    Yes, speak to your VP. Get it on record. It sounds like this person said things that are totally inappropriate. Your boss should be made aware of this type of conduct.

    I agree. If this happens again and you did not inform your boss then your boss will take the second incident as random. By reporting this you will be showing this person is a repeat offender.
         
        12-16-2008, 02:23 AM
      #6
    Weanling
    He shouldn't be getting away with it! Technically, that's workplace harrassment. Definitely talk to your VP, and don't leave out any details. Exactly as PaintedLady said: Document!! Good luck!
         
        12-16-2008, 09:30 AM
      #7
    Weanling
    Yep, Painted is right on the money. Document, and be as specific as you can, like a cop would write a report. And I would SO go to the VP, Christmas party or not, if he can't drink and stay respectable then someone needs to do an intervention about his drinking! I know lots of people who get hammered at Christmas parties, but don't go around insulting people. If he can't handle his liquor, he needs to have his boss speak to him and perhaps he will have the good sense to stay sober next time!

    Good luck, I know how these situations can be fraught with bad feelings, but you are in the right and doin the right thing.
         
        12-16-2008, 10:26 AM
      #8
    Trained
    I'm thinking Egg Nog in a dribble glass....... Muwahaha!

    Ok, I agree with Painted Lady. You need to document as well as the "others" that he has insulted/verbally abused...Slap it all in one file. If "this guy" ever questions your character or really gets out of line, you and the others that this guy is harassing with have some back up and support through the documentation.

    That's the best advice we can give without getting into all the dirty details.
    I really wish you luck with this cruddy situation.
         
        12-16-2008, 10:57 AM
      #9
    Yearling
    Well its not as easy as just going to my boss in this situation. My company is huge! Very male driven...me and my room mate are the only women in the company and there are about 300 of us just at this location. My room mate is the receptionist and im a juniour buyer sales person...so not to many men around here beleive that we should even be here....also the VP is always out of town. Im pretty sure its China this week then Houston next week....so last night I told my boss about it and I don't think he beleived me(which is hard for me because he is actually a good friend of mine out side of work)....he just told me if I had a problem to talk to the VP one day when he is in...so nothing will get done till after Christmas...
         
        12-16-2008, 11:30 AM
      #10
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PaintedLady    
    I'll tell you what I tell my kids. Write it ALL down! Dates & times included. Document, document, DOCUMENT! (I know...WHAT A pita....) Otherwise it becomes a he said/she said kinda thing.


    I want to second this. My sister went through a nasty divorce and as it was going through he would come to work and harass her through the drive through - where everyone could hear...He also said threatening things over the phone and everything else...there was no end to it. She would handle it wonderfully and just tell him he cannot talk to her like that or she will hang up on him because she doesn't need to take it and when he continued she did. She wasn't mean..just firm. My mom told her to document EVERYTHING as well...and well, it turns out that it helped LOTS! It's also good therapy for some.

    Good Luck!! And definitely, tell someone!
         

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