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post #1 of 32 Old 04-09-2010, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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boyfriends >:( rant

why is it that 18 year old guys have to be messy! I mean my boyfriend I've been going out with for 11 months, he has no sense of cleanliness! I've even heard his mother telling him that he needs to shave and she's even cleaned his room a few times because its gotten so bad, hell even I've cleaned it a few times, and he moans that when I do it it makes him feel bad, but even if I don't do anything he just leaves it! I can't stand messy rooms, it makes my mood horrible! And he has no respect for my room either! He'll sit with his shoes on, on my bed and he knows I hate that I mean that's a place we sleep we don't need his dirty shoes on my bed. And he always leaves his empty beer bottles and take-away bags lying, the bin got moved literally 2 feet away from his side of the bed but does he use it, no! He rolls his fags on my bed so theres always bits of baccy in my bed which makes it so crumby and uncomfortable, he'll leave his stinking socks lying on the floor and if they're not delt with they start smelling reallllly bad AND despite haveing a job that earns the same as me, maby even a bit more he's always skint and expects me to buy his food and baccy im and if I don't I feel bad because he's all like sad and depressed about it gahhh! I can't win!!!!

Cookies if you read all that and anyone any tips to cure bad habits in people?
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post #2 of 32 Old 04-09-2010, 01:22 PM
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Smack him up side the head. Unfortunately, I've found that one must decide for himself to be clean.

I guess I'm in the minority when it comes to guys and cleanliness. I can't stand a messy room, and can't stand those who have them. My older brother on the other hand... And we used to share a room, too.
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post #3 of 32 Old 04-09-2010, 01:22 PM
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Time to kick this slob and user to the curb, dear.

You can't change people. The only way someone will ever change is if they decide to do it themselves.

Seems to me he has a pretty sweet deal; Mom and girlfriend clean up after him, and girlfriend buys his food and smokes.

Why should he change? You and Mommy are enabling him to continue to act like a child and leech.
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post #4 of 32 Old 04-09-2010, 01:33 PM
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I agree with Speed Racer why should he stop if its so easy now. On the other hand I say you get a squirt bottle and every time he doesn't throw something away etc. you squirt him. On the bad side. If he is bigger than you he will probably take it from you and you will get squirted instead.

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post #5 of 32 Old 04-09-2010, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
Time to kick this slob and user to the curb, dear.

You can't change people. The only way someone will ever change is if they decide to do it themselves.

Seems to me he has a pretty sweet deal; Mom and girlfriend clean up after him, and girlfriend buys his food and smokes.

Why should he change? You and Mommy are enabling him to continue to act like a child and leech.

EXACTLY!

Speed Racer is 100% correct.

Frankly by acting like that in your space he's just showing you how much he disrespects you. And YOU let him do it.

If it was me... he'd be gone. My boyfriend is a bit of a pig too, but at my house he respects the rules I have. When I'm at his house, I don't nag him to clean up his crap and I don't clean it up. He isn't a child and I'm sure as hell not his mother. If it ever got nasty enough for me to "have" to clean it I wouldn't be over there anymore.

Just like training horses You've trained him to disrespect your space by not kicking his ass (figuratively speaking) when he does it.

Last edited by MN Tigerstripes; 04-09-2010 at 01:39 PM.
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post #6 of 32 Old 04-09-2010, 04:50 PM
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I agree with SR.

Even of course you'd try to have a deal with his mom and agree that no one cleans after him anymore. Perhaps he'd finally find that cleaning service times are over now and he has to do it himself or he turns totally icky and messy (I believe most of people have their limit after which they cannot stand messiness anymore... now he just don't need to think about it because someone else does it for him).

For example, if he can't take trashes out, let him keep it. Let trashes fall down to a floor, set your own garbage can and be sure that he doesn't use it. I believe he'll take the trashes out some day.

Cannot guarantee it works and you need to have nerves enough to stand messiness if you try that trick. I'd still try that myself if I had a situation like you've now. Or I'd try to try, I'm somewhat tidy person and don't know how long I'd stay in conditions like a dump.

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post #7 of 32 Old 04-10-2010, 12:09 PM
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I say tell him how you feel. Seems to me he needs some growing up to do. Don't leave him because you should love someone for good/bad. That's how I see it and how I was taught if you truely love someone you gotta get used to the little habbits the person you are with.
My boyfriend has habbits to but would I leave him? NO WAY I love that boy with all my heart.

I know you can't stand it but talking to him will help! Try it at least. If he loves you he will listen.
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post #8 of 32 Old 04-10-2010, 01:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiskeynoo View Post
why is it that 18 year old guys have to be messy! I mean my boyfriend I've been going out with for 11 months, he has no sense of cleanliness! I've even heard his mother telling him that he needs to shave and she's even cleaned his room a few times because its gotten so bad, hell even I've cleaned it a few times, and he moans that when I do it it makes him feel bad, but even if I don't do anything he just leaves it! I can't stand messy rooms, it makes my mood horrible! And he has no respect for my room either! He'll sit with his shoes on, on my bed and he knows I hate that I mean that's a place we sleep we don't need his dirty shoes on my bed. And he always leaves his empty beer bottles and take-away bags lying, the bin got moved literally 2 feet away from his side of the bed but does he use it, no! He rolls his fags on my bed so theres always bits of baccy in my bed which makes it so crumby and uncomfortable, he'll leave his stinking socks lying on the floor and if they're not delt with they start smelling reallllly bad AND despite haveing a job that earns the same as me, maby even a bit more he's always skint and expects me to buy his food and baccy im and if I don't I feel bad because he's all like sad and depressed about it gahhh! I can't win!!!!

Cookies if you read all that and anyone any tips to cure bad habits in people?
It has nothing to do with 18 year old guys. He's just a scummy guy!! I knew plenty of 18 yr old guys who were very clean and organized. Oh I can only imagine what you're going through. I absolutely HATE mess. I cannot stand it. I hate anything dirty either.

My man is not only clean, but cleaner than me! And I'm pretty clean as it is.

Sit this dude down and tell him to grow up, clean up after himself and to smarten up about future messes!
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post #9 of 32 Old 04-10-2010, 02:25 PM
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my boyfriend is 18 and he can be a slob sometimes, but, he cleans up after himself at my house and his house, and he nags ME about picking thinks up sometimes! Lol

You should kick your bf to the curb, he sounds like a crummy bf
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post #10 of 32 Old 04-10-2010, 02:37 PM Thread Starter
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I don't think I could leave him because if I don't spend time with him after a while I feel kinda sad and I do enjoy being with him. I have spoken to him about it and he does say he'll try be more clean but I think im going to have to push him to make sure he does, at least when he's at mines anyways.

I'm just going to keep nagging and nagging and nagging until he realizes cleaning is an easier more quieter option, on the plus side he actually put his bottles in the bin the other night :O but that could of been due to the fact I refused to move from in front of the t.v till he done it.

Last edited by whiskeynoo; 04-10-2010 at 02:41 PM.
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