Budgeting. Ugh. -venting NOT asking advice- - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 09:44 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Australia
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Re the priorities thing... I have a car fund that money is going into, and that is part of the essentials calculation. Meanwhile I am working on getting my license but it's a YEAR LONG process in Australia. I can't take my practical test for another couple of months and then have to be on logbook [supervised] for six months after that. THEN I have to pass ANOTHER test to get my license. So, my parents have to shuttle me around. For which I am ever grateful.

I do want to move out, but perhaps you're not really understanding how much rent costs here? The market value for a one bedroom apartment/flat/unit/whatever you want to call it is approximately $280 a week. How am I supposed to feed MYSELF and pay that, much less take proper care of my horses? I can forget having an actual HOUSE with a YARD [I have dogs and one in particular is rather destructive, a yard is a necessity not a luxury] until I'm making at least $700/week, and while I could do that working full time I wouldn't have ANY time or energy for study and horses, much less showing.

Why is it so wrong to want to progress my riding? If I'm not competing, I barely even ride... I am the sort of person who needs something to work towards. If I'm not riding, I'm not a very nice person, and nobody wants anything to do with me. Riding is my stress release and my only escape from "real life"... but I don't ride just to ride, I'm far too competitive for that. I have a good horse that knows a lot more than I do, and I want to do him justice. If I spend yet MORE years just bumming around as a casual trail rider, I'll pick up still more bad habits, and as a basically self-taught rider I have plenty of those as it is.

At the moment I really feel like nothing I do is good enough. I don't get lessons, I therefore struggle to get my horse off my hands, out of the false frame he likes to slip into... because I don't have someone to yell at me over the things I do wrong. So clearly I'm a crappy rider, because I can't get a halfway decent score in my dressage tests. Now I'm wanting lessons [yes, so that I can do better in shows, but who cares what the reason is?] and just because I'm complaining about money, my priorities are screwed up? Okay...

I guess I should have mentioned that my ABSOLUTE MINIMUM calculation of weekly spendings does take into account planning for the future.

And, I dropped out of school because I couldn't handle it, not because I'm lazy/don't care about learning/whatever. I just couldn't hack it. I wasn't bullied outright but I was left out of almost everything, which is, if anything, MORE painful. I hate people as a rule and school is very people-heavy which I really didn't do well with. So I dropped out and instead went to work, in retail, which pays reasonably compared to current job... but was too customer-oriented and as above, I couldn't handle it. I still stuck around for over a year.

When I quit retail, I travelled to the other side of the country to try out a working pupil position for one of Australia's foremost riders, thinking that if I could hack it, the skills I would learn - riding, coaching, but also life skills - would set me up for life. Not all that many coaches can say they learned from the man who was offering the position, and my aim was to spend a few years working there, progress my riding to the point where I would become a well-respected competitor, and get my coaching qualification... then come home and coach and ride for a living, rather like what my boss does.

I do still aim to be a coach but couldn't handle being so far from any family. I went from seeing my mother and brother daily to not seeing them at all in the space of 24 hours... and more than that, my horse stayed here. The intention was to eventually truck him across the country, but he's a bad traveller, and doesn't cope well with cold. Newcastle NSW is cold, and the journey would have taken a huge amount out of him... maybe even killed him, knowing him! So I came home, having learned a lot in the week I was there but disappointed in myself for YET AGAIN failing. I have clung to the reason and excuse of putting my horse ahead of my Olympic dreams to keep myself from putting too much store in the critics who would love nothing more than for me to give up altogether and quit riding.

I went through a dark period where I couldn't fathom the idea of looking for work, much less actually working, then came across my current job. Working for my beautiful boss Liza has been great for me and frankly is the only reason I am capable of contemplating a second job at all, so excuse me for wanting to stay in the job that hauled me out of a really dark place and has kept my outlook positive for four months now through all the crap my young Thoroughbred has thrown at me.

Maybe my priorities ARE screwed up, but from where I'm sitting I'd rather be sane and give up a few freedoms than drive myself mad just to be able to live on my own and drive myself to work.

I am EIGHTEEN, and while a lot of people I know have already moved out or are champing at the bit to do so, a lot of other people my age haven't even got their learners permit yet. In the USA I would still be considered a kid... not even legal drinking age. Hell I would still be high school age in the US... here, the last year of high school is the year in which we turn 17.

I specifically said I was NOT looking for advice, honestly until now I was proud of myself for even bothering to try budgeting - I am not an especially responsible money manager by nature, it's a learning curve - and was already planning what to do with the money I would save by being aware of my spending. Yes, most of that is going to go on shows. And budgeting showed me that I needed a second job to move my gelding out to where I'm working so that I can access the lessons I want... WANT not NEED because we are going just swimmingly on our own, just not progressing in the dressage side of things.

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post #12 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 09:47 AM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Washington, USA.
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You don't want advice but I'm going to give it anyway. Eventually, you will need to pay rent at one place or another. Apartments require a deposit, and many require first and last on top of that. For the average one bedroom/studio in my area, that's about $1500 just to move in. Even with a roommate in a two bedroom, you're still looking at $1100.

So my advice, put off the showing, and focus on gaining more financial stability for when you do have to pay rent. One day, you will have to "grow up," and looking back on it, you'll be wishing you had done more to save and plan instead of showing. Take it from someone who supports herself, two horses, and two cats. It's not easy, my finances are very carefully balanced.
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post #13 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 02:35 PM
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And the way out is not finding a husband! you need to be self sufficient on your own before entering into such an arrangement.
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post #14 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 02:54 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Our suggestions are to help with your budgeting problem. School means a better job which is more money. You'd be able to have more lessons, tack, horses etc.

I get how much things cost. Rent around here starts at $700 a month, and that's if you don't mind a high crime area.

Budgeting also means looking at the bigger picture, which is why we are advocating school.
And just to to school online if people were being turds to you. Remember that some of us posting are you are coming from a good place and want more for you even if we don't know you.
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post #15 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Australia
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lol cacowgirl I was joking. Newly single and enjoying being free to flirt with one of the guys who work at the feed store but certainly not ACTUALLY looking to get married anytime soon. I'm too young for that!

DA, $700/month? That's crazy cheap. For what I need, somewhere with a yard, anywhere NEAR my town, $700 wouldn't even last a fortnight... even a place with a small yard. Pet friendly rentals are generally a little more expensive. I'm not ditching my dogs just because somebody thinks all 18 year olds should be moving out or at least planning to.

Online would work but for that I need my own computer... it's bloody hard to get study time when you're battling for your screen time against two other people, one of whom is an obsessive pain in the butt about "his" computer and not wanting to get off it. Next project I think, to save for a laptop or something. Lucky for me they're not stupidly expensive. Then online study.

Honestly plenty of people work two jobs, with poor pay, just to support themselves/their animals/their showing. At least 3 of my friends are classic examples of that. And from someone who doesn't have a huge number of friends [I have no interest in having a million buddies] that's a rather large percentage.


Last edited by blue eyed pony; 12-19-2012 at 09:53 PM.
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post #16 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 11:40 PM
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Since I'm not allowed to give advice I'll say simply this: welcome to the real world, it's time to suck it up and drop some of your wants to accommodate your needs.
Horses are not a need.
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post #17 of 34 Old 12-19-2012, 11:51 PM
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mid Northern TN
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Sometimes more money seems like it would make everything easier. Maybe it would. Lacking that, you just gotta nail down your priorities in light of your long term goals and life, put your head down, and get done what needs doing. Hang in there, everything changes.
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post #18 of 34 Old 12-20-2012, 12:29 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Kayty View Post
Horses are not a need.
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No, they are a responsibility I have chosen to take on because I enjoy them. My gelding has a rather chequered past and myself and his previous owner both would hate to see him neglected again. My filly is very sensitive and needs a very specific type of person [I'm not that type of person but I'm learning and both of us are progressing] so isn't very marketable... plus has a few handling issues which we are working through.

I fail to see why my money and how I choose to spend it is even your business? My horses live like a king and queen. They are healthy and happy, and whether I ever move out is between my parents and myself. For the record my parents are encouraging me to show more, especially my father who I do not live with and rarely get to see [he would be the one trailering my horse to shows]... if I am showing regularly I am seeing my father regularly and I need my dad time.

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post #19 of 34 Old 12-20-2012, 01:01 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Anything you post in public becomes everyone who can see its business. That's just the way it is. I don't think anyone here was overly rude or overly critisizing. Most of us are adults who have been there and done that, and understand what happens later in life when you don't have your priorities in line.
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post #20 of 34 Old 12-20-2012, 03:48 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Australia
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And what is wrong with my top priority being my horses and enjoying them as much as is financially possible? It's not like Im struggling. I just want to do something which is currently outside my means and am frustrated that the status quo will not allow it. I do not like change, it is an aspergers syndrome thing which I am working on but having to change things to get what I want is frustrating for me.
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